Nobody's Hero
by JayneB
Summary: My take on why Hanson and Ioki disappeared
1. Chapter 1

His eyes snapped open, chest tight and his heart racing. His thick, dark hair hung lank and wet in his eyes. He looked around at the once familiar surroundings that now seemed more surreal than the nightmares that had plauged his sleep for months.

His heavy eyes moved slowly to the small clock beside the bed. 3.30. He breathed deeply trying to slow his heartrate, the accusing, angry faces from his dream still dancing before his eyes.

As in all the others he had been back in Fulsom Prison, the vicious taunting threats from the other inmates ringing in his ears. They'd come to his cell, snapped on the handcuffs that had cut and bruised his wrists and led him down a long narrow corridor, threatening voices still following from behind as he walked.

As he neared the end of the corridor they stopped him in front of a heavy metal door. The guard took out his keys, unlocked the door and pointed the way through.

"I don't wanna go in there" he protested, his voice sounding harsh and alien in his ears.

They pushed him roughly through the door and sat him at the table in the middle of the empty room. The harsh white light had flashed on making him have to squint his eyes to be able to make out the figure stood before him. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the light he began to make out the figure of the man he had shared a cell with during his four month stay in what he had begun to think of as his own personal hell.

"What are you doing here?" he heard himself say.

"Maybe you should ask yourself that question Hanson."

"It wasn't my gun! It was Frank Farrel. They proved it. I'm innocent!"

"Time you faced it. You belong here Hanson"

"I didn't kill anyone"

Then he had disappeared followed by faces so vividly remembered from a past so littered with faces that he was amazed he could remember any at all. Kenny Wheckerly, Tyrell Thompson, Jack Weaver , all turning their accusing eyes to his wide frightend ones , all asking basically the same question, "How can you sleep at night after all you've done?".

Now safe in his room he laughed bitterly at the irony of that question.

"If only they knew", he said to the darkness.

As he pulled the twisted sheets around him, his knees hugged to his chest, he still couldn't be rid of those faces.

Ronnie Seebok, who he had helped send to Death Row and then stood and watched as they had strapped him to a table and injected him with leathal chemicals, appeared sitting across from him. The hidious lines still in his arms, he was looking at him through distant glazed eyes saying "It should have been you, man!"

With these words still echoing in his head, Tom wandered into the living room of his appartment. He looked around the dark room, his tired wide brown eyes surveying the litter of a life that no longer seemed real. He'd been letting things slide recently and the living room looked to him like the scene of a breaking and entering. He let out that bitter cynical laugh that still seemed so strange to him, at the realisation that, even at 3.30 on a Sunday morning , he was still thinking like a cop.

Ronnie was right of course, or so Hanson had suceeded in convincing himself. In his own mind he was resposible for ending or ruining each of these young lives. First of all there was Kenny Wheckerly , who had come to him for help. Kenny had begged him to help him escape, but he had wanted to go by the book, and Kenny had ended up dead, trapped in a ventilation shaft.

He could so easily have let Jack Weaver run, instead he had condemmned him to a life he never wanted.

Ronnie himself, Hanson had chased for years. Once in police custody, no amount of pleading from Tom had suceeded in disuading them against the death penalty. Ronnie had actually asked Tom to be there when his sentence was carried out and what he had witnessed had haunted him ever since.

Now watching the dark street through his window still flashing on the latest of these nightmares, he saw himself moving towards the barred windows of his prison and the horrific scene that had unfolded before him. Harry Ioki had been on the other side bleeding uncontrolably from numerous bullet wounds. He had struggled against the bars, unable to do anything other than watch Harry's life slowly drain away.

Then suddenly the scene had faded away and he was alone in the harshly lit room again. A noise from the corner of the room had attracted his attention. As he turned he saw the familiar and welcome sight of Doug Penhall, his best friend and partner of the past four years. The person he had entrusted his life to on more occaisions than he cared to remember. He had called Dougs name, a smile on his face as he moved towards him, but Doug had not answered.

"Doug, talk to me please!" he had begged. But no amount of calling and pleading seemed to have any effect. He reached out to force Doug to turn and face him, but everytime he tried he was once again confronted with his friend's turned back. Then he had felt rough hands grab him from behind as they beat him and forced him to the floor. This is when he had awoken shaking and sweating.

Tom stood ,now. silently looking through the darkened window trying to banish these images from his waking thoughts. He had assumed, initially, that this was just his anxiety and the strangeness of adjusting to being free. He had resigned himself to life behind bars and had found it hard to accept that he was simply let free. But as the months went by his feelings of agnst and the nightmares had not only continued but had steadily become worse.

He didn't want to go back to prison, but sometimes he found himself thinking that maybe it would have been better if they had just accepted it and left him there. At least he would feel as if he was being made to pay for the lives he'd ruined and wouldn't be plauged with this guilt and self loathing.

He had spoken to Captain Fuller about his restlessness a week after Doug and Booker had secured his release and he had referred Hanson to the Department Pshycologist. He had reached for the phone to call him so many times but had always hung up at the last minute. He thought he could work through this, that he was strong enough, after all isn't that what everyone had told him since he was 16. When his dad died he had to be strong for his mom they all said. This had become so engrained in his pshyce that it had continued into his adult life. Tom Hanson was not the kind of guy to find comfort in tears and sharing his feelings was never easy for him. He had thought of telling Doug everything he had been going through. He had talked to Doug about his disillusionment with police work and he had seemed to understand, he wasn't happy about it but he had understood. But he had been so proud and happy to be partly resposible for freeing Tom and done so much for him since, helping him out with money when he needed it, putting up with his mood swings. If he told Doug how he was feeling he would cause even more hurt, and he couldn't deal with seeing hurt in the eyes of the only person he trusted these days. There was too much going on in his own head. So, like he had done so many times before Tom had forced a smile, cracked jokes like everything was as normal, as if he could just forget everything that had happened, pushing all the hurt and guilt way down where no one would find it. The only thing that betrayed this act was the cold dead look that was begging to creep into his once warm, bright eyes more often. He had seen that same look in the eyes of those he had helped to put away and in the eyes of lifers he had met in prison, and it shcoked him to see that same look peering out of the mirror at him every morning. The look of someone with nothing to live for. It was with this look that he turned to face the empty darkness of his living room. He thought about making some strong coffee, no point in going to sleep he thought as, glancing at his watch on the table, he saw with some surprise that it was 4:15.

"Time flys when you're having fun!" he laughed bitterly to himself.

Instead of making coffee however, he sat down on the couch, his bed sheets hugged close to him, and as his heavy eyelids began to close over his slightly bloodshot eyes, gave in to what had become a precious and rare thing lately, a dreamless sleep.

Harry Ioki had his own deamons to deal with. Since the shooting nothing had been the same. His confidence was severely lacking, he jumped at the slightest noise, and the thought of even handling a gun terrified him, yet to be without one scared him more. During every case he had been on since leaving the hospital he was convinced at least one person, if not more, had figured him to be a cop and was out to get him. He told himself he was being ridiculous but that nagging fear just wouldn't let him be.

There was a time when he loved his work. He was proud of the fact he was able to get out there and make a difference. But now he wasn't sure he was making a difference anymore and he was damned if he was going to risk his life for nothing.

The others at the chapel had been really good to him since the shooting, had looked out for him and been there if he needed to talk, but their constant concern had got on his nerves recently. While he appreciated that they meant well, he just wanted to be left alone. He had begun to distance himself from them and only occasionally would he join in with Tom and Dougs banter, or joke around with Jude. He felt bad seeing the looks on their faces when he acted indifferent towards them, especially Judy, but it was the only way to make it easier to do what he had to. Although he suspected it would still be quite a wrench when the time came.

These past months had given him plenty of time to think about what he really wanted, now all he needed was the right time and opportunity to set things in motion. Being a cop just didn't mean as much as it used to, and he decided that it was time to say goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't make a penny from stealing it either.**

Judy Hoffs sat at her desk behind a mountain of paperwork. Her last case with Harry had been a tricky one and as Ioki had been less inclined to help out these days she was once again left to deal with the stacks of reports and forms alone. Harry was, in fact, yet to make an appearence this morning.

After his stint in rehab Harry had been withdrawn and distant on all but a handful of occaisions. She had tried so often to get him to open up to her, but with little success. He hadn't even told her about his addiction to painkillers, he had told Penhall and the thought that he felt he couldn't tell her hurt deeply. Every time she tried to talk to him he either became abusive or brushed her aside, and whist she was concerned for her partner, she was also begining to become more and more frustrated. She realised that being promoted to detective meant that she had more responsibilty and more rested on her shoulders, but her partner could at least pretend to pull his weight. She was tired, upset, frustrated and she felt very alone.

Pondering these thoughts and twisting her long dark curly hair around her fingers, she was startled by the sound of Captain Fullers voice booming through the chapel.

"Hoffs" he bellowed, "Hanson and Ioki here yet?"

"Not yet Captain. Hanson was here till pretty late last night. I dont know where Harry is but I'm sure he'll show soon"

"When they do decide to grace us with their presence I want to see them both in my office"

"Sure Captian, I'll let 'em know", she said offering him an apologetic smile.

"I thought Tom wrapped up his case days ago!"came the voice of Doug Penhall as he came bounding across the room in his usual exhuberant fashion. He had been confined to desk duty, and although it was at his own request he still felt a pang of regret at not being able to help out his friend.

"He did, but he was still here when I left last night. Maybe he has as much paperwork as I do" she said gesturing to the pile of papers in front of her.

Taking this as a hint, Doug gave her an apologetic smile and left her to it.

Judy watched Doug walk back to his desk. He had seemed a bit down recently, which she put down to him being bored and lost without Hanson. This got her to thinking of how close they had all been until recently. These past few months they had all seemed to drift apart. After being trapped in that horrific strom in Lincoln things had been different. She knew that things had gotten strained between Doug and Hanson for a while, but their friendship had always been able to survive these kinds of things.

With Doug on desk duty, Hanson had been sent out on his own and didn't usually report back to the Chapel until late in the evening. In fact, apart from a short conversation with him the night before, it had been awhile since she had seen Hanson herself. Then as if summoned by her thoughts Tom came walking slowly up the stairs into the Chapel.

"Morning Hanson" she called out smiling brightly at the sight of her young friend. Her cheerful greeting was not returned however and she saw his face blanche as his eyes fixed on Penhall.

"Hanson?"

"Huh? Sorry Jude."

"Everything ok?" she said a little concerned as she noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes.

"Sure" he said flashing his warmest, brightest smile and signaling towards her desk, "Having fun Detective?"

"Yeah, Hanson, it's a blast! Fuller wants to see you and Harry in his office."

"Yikes! If I offer to do your paperwork will you cover for me!" he said with a wry smile.

She returned his smile, feeling reasured. The clashes between Captain Adam Fuller and Tom Hanson, while usually good natured, had become something of legend at Jump Street Chapel.

"Go face the music Officer Hanson!"

"Why? How many demerits will it cost me Dective Hoffs?"

"Go!" She said, feigning irritation. She smiled warmly after him as he made his way to Fullers door.

Dispite his smiles and seeming good humour, Tom had been badly shaken. As he had entered the chapel he had been confronted with the view of Doug Penhall's turned back, like a flashback in a bad movie. However, as he passed Dougs desk these thoughts were banished by his friend's enthusiastic welcome.

"Hey, man, where you been?" Doug asked as he gave Tom what could only be described as a bear hug.

"Douglas!" Hanson replied genuinely happy to see him. "Chair not stuck perminately to your ass then huh?", he finished as Doug set him back on his feet.

"Not yet. But give it time. Got a pretty good ass groove going though."

"And people say you underachieve!" he said rolling his eyes at Judy who had been watching her friends and had wandered over desperate for some distraction. Looking at them stood together it suddenly struck her as if for the first time that they were complete polar opposites in both appearence and manner. The loud and brash Doug Penhall was tall, built like a bear, and just a little overwieght. His longish usually neatly combed hair was fair, in stark contrast to his almond shaped light brown eyes. But behind his imposing stature the only bear Doug resembled was a teddy bear and was just as incredibly soft hearted and trusting, always ready with a smile and a joke. Stood beside Tom Hanson he stuck out like a sore thumb. Standing a good few inches shorter than his partner with his overgrown dark brown tousled hair, the quiet, intelligent and thoughtful Tom was the perfect foil for his brash partner. Where Doug was heavily built, Tom was slight and fragile in appearence with delicate features highlighted all the more by his huge deep thoughtful brown eyes, which always reminded Judy of Bambi. Yet she had come to realise very shortly after first meeting him that his appearence was very misleading. Behind the fragile figure was a determination and strength the like of which she had never seen before, making up for what he lacked in physical stature with incredible emotional and pshycological strength. He also displayed a fierce loyalty and compassion to all those around him.

She was startled out of her thoughts by the shout that split the air.

"HANSON!"

Tom and Doug spun round to see Fuller stood in the doorway looking somewhat impatient.

"My office now please!"

"Sorry Doug. I'll talk to you later". Then raising his voice for Fullers benefit and smiling slightly at his partner, "Some of us have actual police work to do".

"So sorry to keep you, Officer Hanson" he replied giving his friend a sarcastic salute. "Come over tonight, we can catch up, have a few beers. Clavo keeps asking why Uncle Tommy hasn't been to see him."

Hanson's face lit up at the mention of Dougs young nephew. Since he and Doug had brought the boy back from El Salvador, Tom had adored him as if he was his own nephew. It wasn't hard to love him, after all he was a sweet kid which was surprising after all he'd been through.

"Why do you encourage him to call me that!"he said still smiling.

"Hey it's that or Thomas. Besides, Tom ,you love it. So you comming?"

"Yeah, sure. You're not cooking are you?"

"Why!" Doug said acting offended.

"I'll grab some pizzas on the way"Tom added a little too quickly.

"Hey, I'm a great cook. Ask Clavo!"

"The kid who has dreams about white worms! I'll bring pizza" he replied smirking.

"Yeah ok." Doug said sheepishly. "I could pick 'em up Tom, I finish first anyway" he continued with a little trepidation.

"Doug I can stretch to pizza" Hanson snapped a little too viciously.

"Ok!" Doug replied defensively, "You'd better not keep Fuller waiting."

"You know it's good to see you two together" Judy said as she walked towards Fuller's office at Hanson's side.

"What are we? Married?" The comical look on Hanson's face put Judy's concerns at ease. That look of long suffering indignation that only Tom Hanson was capable of. Both maddening and endearing at the same time because you were always safe in the knowledge that the only people able to draw that look were those he cared for. She looked after Tom fondly as he walked into Fuller's office and Harry finally made an appearance.

"Sorry I didn't realise the time" he said as he approached his long time partner.

"Fuller wants to see you and Hanson in his office" she said stiffly, before walking away to continue her favoutire part of the job.

"Hey coach!"

"Nice of you to honour us with your presence Hanson"

"No problem Capt'n" he replied offering Fuller his most charming smile.

"Sit down Tom"

"Jude said you wanted to see me Captain!" Harry said popping his head round the door.

"Yeah, come in Harry. Are you two familiar with John Adams High?" he asked as Harry took a seat beside Hanson.

"One of those genius academy's isn't it?" Hanson asked a little warily.

"You know that doesn't mean they don't have problems Hanson!" Fuller responded. "Three kids have been hospitalised due to overdoses in the last two weeks"

"That's a new one" Harry said sarcastically.

"You'd think there'd be one school in this city that didn't have a drug problem" Hanson added rolling his eyes and letting his head drop to rest on the back of the chair.

"Thank you fellas." Fuller said somewhat irritated by his young officers lack of enthusiasm. "It looks like someone on campus has been dealing. Most likely suspect is a senior, Mike Powell. Apart from having a well documented habit he has acquired a pretty nice car recently" He handed the file over to Tom.

"Wow nice!" Hanson whistled after reading that this nice car was actually a brand new Mercedes 600SL. "I might be able to afford a Corgi version"

"Exactly Tom!" Fuller replied."I want you two to get in with this guy. See if we can get him to cough up. Hanson, I want you to get as close as you can to him, Ioki you're gonna pose as Hanson's drug connection. Get a buy outta this kid. I also want you to find out how he's getting the stuff in and where he's getting it from"

"Captain" Hanson put in. "Things never go well when I play smart kid. Last couple of times i've nearly been exposed on national television and recuited by the CIA!"

"Third time lucky. Get close to him Tom. In the meantime Harry I want you to keep an eye out, just in case Powell's not our guy" Fuller replied.

"Okey dokey Coach! Ready Iokage?"

"As I'm gonna be" Harry said with a sigh.

Fuller passed a critical eye over his young officers, oldest and youngest respectively. He had seen them grow and mature into what he considered to be pretty special people.Both these young men had been through a lot this past year and he was intesely proud of them. However he had become concerned about them both. Harry had been displaying totally uncharacteristic cynicsism lately. The usually cheerful and dedicated Harry Ioki he had known had been replaced by a listless, disinterseted surly shadow of himself. Fuller assumed he was bored. He had spent much of his time confined to the Chapel, but that was the main reason he was sending Harry in with Tom and not Judy.

As he watched fondly after his officers as they got up to leave the room he noticed the dark circles under Hanson's eyes and how drawn he appeared this morning. Softly spoken and not usually the most expressive and talkative of the group, Tom had seemed unusually quiet even for him lately.

"Tom!" Fuller, called after him.

"Yes Captain?"

"Everything ok? You look a little rough!"

"Can't always be the poster boy, Coach", he said smiling crookedly, then more seriously,"Bad night, that's all"

Fuller eyed him with concern. "Still?"

"Some nights are better than others. Don't worry Coach, no big deal. I'm fine"

"As long as you're sure".

"I'm sure."

"Well, you know my door's always open Tom."

Hanson gave Fuller an understanding nod of thanks and left the room. Fuller watched after him suspiciously as he closed the door behind him. He knew Hanson's tendancy to deal with difficult situations alone. Although he had seemed his usual self after a difficult first few months back at the Chapel, if not a little too cheerful at times, he had noticed on occaision a certain distance, a wall of defense as it were, in Tom Hanson that made him feel a little uneasy. As Tom closed the door Fuller decided he was going to keep a watchful eye on his youngest officer.

"Right, spill it Harry." Tom said as soon as he had caught up with Harry.

"What?"

"There's something up with you. Don't lie to me Harry" he said as Ioki opened his mouth to protest. "You been presumed dead again?" Hanson said with a sly smile on his face. He thought bringing up the time when Harry had been given death benefits by mistake may have lightened the mood. However, the sick feeling in his stomach as the scene from his nightmare flashed through his mind and the look on Harry's face told him he was wrong.

"Sorry man, bad taste." He said

"You think that was even the slightest bit funny after what I've been through?" Harry said with a look that could have burned a hole right through Hanson's forehead.

"Harry, I'm sorry. Come on, talk to me. What is it?"

"Don't you get sick of putting your life at risk for idiot kids who waste their lives and don't even know they're born? I nearly died trying to protect kids who chose to go out and play with automatic guns. Do you think we even make any difference Tom?"

Hanson looked at Harry, trying to hide the sickness he felt at hearing his own questions repeated back to him by one of his closest friends. What was worse is that he had no answers to give Harry. He couldn't even think of anything to say, not even a small white lie. Instead he looked into Harry's eyes and as calmly as he could gave Harry the only answer he'd been able to give himself.

"It's got to Harry, otherwise it's all for nothing."

"That's what I'm afraid of. You know, no matter how many of these kids we bust there's always gonna be like ten more. So why do we risk our lives fiighting a lost cause"

"Someone's gotta catch the bad guys" Tom replied repeating his fathers words shyly.

"Well maybe thats not a good enough reason anymore Hanson" Harry spat." You've always got to play the hero haven't you. Jumping in trying to act the tough guy, then everyone else has to pick up after your mess" he continuted ignoring the shock and hurt on Hanson's face, while Tom stood looking back at him in silence unable to find anything to say. Then, hearing Harry's angry shouts Doug rushed over.

"Hey, back off man" he said calmly to Harry.

"Why? Cos the truth hurts?"

"He went to prison for trying to get justice for you man!" Doug said trying to keep his voice calm.

"Noone asked him to did they" Harry said viciously, glaring at Tom

"Harry" a distressed Hanson said in a barely audiable whisper.

"Don't you dare hold me responsible for you going to prison" he said his dark eyes blazing. "It was bound to happen one day, the shit you try and pull. You're just lucky they got you the one time you just happened to be innocent!" Harry said as he turned his back to Tom.

"Harry!" he called as Ioki walked away. "I'm sorry Harry." he said under his breath.

"Hey, you Ok Tom?" Penhall asked

"Yeah" he said unconvincingly

"Where did all that come from?"

"I don't know."

Tom felt lost as he stood there watching Harry walk away. Having heard his own words echoed back at him by Harry had been a shock. He wanted to help him, but how could he help Harry when he couldn't even deal with this himself. Just like his dream, he thought, Harry needed him and he could do nothing to help. He thought maybe he should let Harry know what he was feeling. That maybe they could help each other. He remembered Harry telling him about a time when he had convinced a local boy to turn in his drug addict parents. The kid had ended up worse off than he could have imagined. Tom had been dealing with this sort of guilt on and off for two years. He thought that if he could talk to Harry about how he was feeling he might be able to keep Harry from suffering like he was. But when he imagined telling his friend everything he had been bottling up inside he realised he just couldn't face it. Hanson was dealing with something different now. He had gone to jail and had lived in constant fear for months on end, but Harry had almost died. He felt ashamed when he thought about comparing his situation to Harry's.

"Hey, no olives ok man!" Doug said clapping Hanson on the shoulder, bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Pizza! No olives, they make me puke."

"Ok. Look I gotta go, alright. See you later."

"No olives!"

"Yeah, yeah" Tom said waving him away as he headed out of the chapel towards his Mustang in the parking lot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the kind reviews folks.**

**You know the drill, it's not mine :0(**

Being small in both height and bulk, Tom Hanson and Harry Ioki were able to pass quite easily through crowds of teenagers pretty much unnoticed. Doug Penhall still looked reletively youthfull for his 27 years, but he was begining to look a little to old to pass for a high school student. Hanson and Ioki seemed to be practically ageless. So noone saw anything unusual when Tom Harris and Harry Choi entered their respective classes late that morning.

Tom walked into the classroom and imediately noticed the cocky teenager sat in the centre of the room surrounded by the other students and acting the big man. He shook his head and smiled to himself thinking that this was gonna be a walk in the park. He took the empty seat in front of the boy and in less than ten minutes Mike Powell came to introduce himself.

"Hey!", he began "You're new here right?"

"Yeah, Tom Harris" he said offering his hand.

"Mike Powell. I only transferred in a month ago so I know how you feel. It's actually not a bad place as schools go"

"Yeah, well I've had my fair share of schools and they all seem pretty much the same to me."

"Your parents move around alot huh?"

"Nah, I get kicked outta school alot!".

"Really? You don't look the type" he said surveying Tom's thick black rimmed glasses. "What did you do, put a tack on the teachers chair?" Mike said with a mocking smile on his face.

"Possesion!" Tom said confidentially

"Wow, you really don't look the type!".

"Well, it's not lilke I shot up in class you know. What about you? Your parents move alot?"

"Kind of. My Dad died when I was little. My uncles in jail. My Mom's the only family he has so we move around after him when he gets transferred".

"Must be tough"

"Yeah, but you get to see alot of new faces and places you know."

"Never get bored huh!"

"Me? Never, man, I make my own entertainment!" Mike said slyly.

"Really! So what do you do for entertainment around here?"

"Well that depends" Mike answered

"On what?" Tom asked.

"On what your poison is!". Mike pulled out a small bag containing white powder as he said this, showing it to Hanson.

Looking at this kid all Tom could think was how he couldn't belive this was going to be so easy. The guy offers him coke within ten minutes of meeting him. He gave Mike a small smile as he examined the bag.

"Bit much to be carrying to school huh?"

"I like to share." Mike replied with a wink. "You need anything, you know, my stores always open" he said ,a small knowing smile on his face.

"No thanks, I got my own sources."

"Oh yeah? Maybe you and I should talk!"

"Ok class settle down", the teacher said as he placed his overly decorative briefcase on his desk, "We've got quite a bit to get through. Ok, first where's Tom Harris"

Hanson looked up, trying to decipher the blurred shapes through the thick glasses he was wearing, looking uncomfortable and offering a slight wave.

"Straight A's in Advanced Maths at Emerson eh?"

"Well, only just", he replied modestly.

"Well, we'll expect the same from you here. Changing schools is no reason to let your grades slip".

"Yes sir!"

"Hey Tom!" Mike called as he hurried out the classroom an hour later.

"Yeah?"

"I'm a 'genius' when it comes to other stuff, but maths has never my strong point. You think you could help me out, maybe?"

"Sure, no problem" Tom said, forcing a smile, while all the time wondering how the hell he was gonna teach advanced maths. "Damn genius schools" he thought to himself as Mike helpfully steered him towards the next class.

"Powells our guy!" Tom told Ioki as they left the campus together in his Mustang.

"You sure?" Harry said stiffly

"Yep. He all but told me in our first class this morning, before the teacher was even in the room!".

"Good." Harry said. "We can get this done and get outta here!"

Tom glanced across at Harry. The scene back at the chapel had been playing on his mind all day and he wanted nothing more than to straighten this out. It seemed to have come from nowhere. Deffinately not the Harry Ioki he knew.

"Hey." he said. "I'm going to Penhall's later, you know few beers, pizza, wanna come?" he asked hopefully.

"Don't think so."

"You wanna talk Harry?"

"Not really." he replied, his voice cold and emotionless.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'm here you know."

"Aren't you always."

"Look Harry..."

"It's really not your concern Hanson. Now just drive will you, I'm not interested in talking and honestly, you're the last one I wanna 'spill my guts' to ok?" Ignoring the hurt and confusion etched in Hansons face Harry turned his full attention to staring out of the window in silence. He didn't want to hurt his friend, but he found he just couldn't stop. He had so much anger building inside and Hanson was an easy target.

The Mustang pulled away from the campus and the journey passed in uncomfortable and strained silence.

Later that evening Harry was alone his his stark almost empty appartment, his eyes moving intently over a piece of paper covered with waht looked like chineese symbols. A small smile touched his face as he read the words.

"I'll be there soon" he said to the silence as he reached for a blank sheet of paper with which to reply.

He let out a irritated breath when he heard a knock on the door. He opened it and looked straight into the eyes of Judy Hoffs.

"This a good time?" she asked

"Does it matter?"

"No"

"You'd better come in then".

"Do you wanna tell me whats going on yet?"

"There's nothing to tell."

"Well maybe you wanna explain why you think Hanson deserved that outburst. Come on Harry, I know you don't really think that way."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah. He's been nothing but a good friend to you Harry. I think you owe him an explination at least."

"You don't get it do you? I don't wanna owe him anything. I don't wanna owe any of you anything!" he spat.

"Well I guess that's your decision. But we've all had it rough recently and we need each other." she noticed the letter lying on the counter. "What's that?" she asked gently.

"A letter. It's from my Grandmother. Locke found her and we've been writing for a while now. She wants me to go home to Vietnam."

"Are you going?"

"Yeah. She's the only family I have left. I wanna get to know her again, take care of her."

"When?"

"I don't know, soon."

"Will you let me know before you do?"

"We'll see."

"Will you talk to Hanson?"

"Maybe."

"Harry..."

"Can you go know please. I'm kinda busy."

"Ok. Just remember Harry, you may need someone to be there for you someday. Who's it gonna be if you push everyone away?" And with that she left him alone with his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**21 Jump Street still doesn't belong to me**

"Right, now you're here you wanna tell me what's going on?" Doug asked his friend as he handed him a beer.

"What do you mean? I'm fine." Tom replied.

"I'm not Fuller, man, I know you. Come on Tom talk to me!"

Tom just stared back blankly at his best friend, trying not to give anthing away.

"Look Tom, we've been through alot you and me, if you can't trust me enough to let me help you what's it all been for?"

He looked up at Doug and suddenly wanted to tell him everything. The nightmares, guilt, how everything seemed totally meaningless. All the stuff that had been bulding up for almost a year threatened to come pouring out. Well, he couldn't think of anyone better than Doug to pour it out to.

"Tom, come on what is it?" Doug said seeing the stricken look on Hanson's face.

"I don't where to start. Everything.", he said trying desperatley to keep his voice steady. "Doug, I'm just so tired, physically, emotionally, I just want it all to be over."

"Want what to be over? Tom, your scaring me!"

"Being in prison gives you alot of time to think you know. In fact all you do is think."

Tom had never spoken about his time in prison and Doug had never asked him to. If there was one thing he knew about Tom Hanson after all these years it was that if there was something he needed to tell you he would tell you in his own time. You couldn't push him. The more you pushed him, the more distant and closed off he would become. Now that it looked like coming out Doug sat patiently while his friend talked. Tom continued in his low sleepy voice.

"You get to thinking about everything you've done and all the things you wanna do but won't ever get the chance. You reconcile yourself to the fact that your life is pretty much over, you know. You stop hoping that by some miracle someone's gonna tell you it's a bad dream and you don't belong there. Then suddenly they come along and tell you, ok we admit it we made a mistake, you can go home now. They just toss you out , nowhere to go, no money in your pocket, nothing. It's like that's the dream, not jail. Now I get out there everyday and it's like I'm on auto piolot. I'm just going through the motions and none of it means anything anymore. I haven't slept for more than three hours a night since i can remember. I don't know what's gonna happen to me Doug and all i feel is scared and guilty."

"What have you got to feel guilty about ? You didn't kill anyone Tom, you didn't deserve to be there. All you've ever done is try to help people."

"What about all the shit I pulled before then? How many kids have we sent to that living hell. Most of these kids are just gonna end up back there. We took their future Doug, just like Crane took mine. I have these dreams, I'm in prison and they're all there, Kenny Wheckerly, Jack Weaver, Ronnie Seeboc, all of them. I just sit there while they all tell me how I sent them to hell. Then I see Harry through the bars of the cell, he's dying and I can't get out to help him."

Doug looked at him with concerned eyes. "You didn't force those kids to break the law Hanson! They made their decisions and they have to face the consequences".

Tom let out a bitter laugh.

"You sound like I used to", he said. "The fact is Doug, If I had helped Kenny like he asked me to he would still be here. Jackie was right, I totally mishandled the evidence in Ronnie's case. If I had filed properly he wouldn't have been there to kill Darry and that guy in the convenience store. Three people are dead because of something I did wrong."

Doug stared at Tom in disbelief. The extent to which he had convinced himself that all this was his fault was unbelievable. He kelt down in front of Tom and said gently "You don't really believe all this do you? Tom, Ronnie killed more people besides Darry and you know that. You certainly weren't to know what Kenny was gonna do, and as for Weaver, god Tom, you know what happens to deserters. You saved him from something much worse." He stopped and looked hard at Tom and said, "Do you remember Diane Nelson?"

"Yeah, of course I do."

"Where do you think she and her sister would be right now without you? That kid Harley. You were there for him when nobody else was. Hey, what kinda state would I be in without you to get me outta trouble huh?" he said trying to force a smile from Tom.

"What about Amy, Doug?"

"Oh come on! I thought you were done with that. There was nothing you could've done."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You're determined to hate yourself aren't you?"

"Maybe I deserve to be hated" he said shakily

"Why would anyone hate you Tom? Let me talk to Fuller, man, maybe we can get you some help, you know people who know how to deal with this stuff".

"You mean a shrink! No Doug!" he said his eyes incredibly wide and helpless. "I'll be ok, really".

"Tom you're a mess. Have you heard yourself? What the hell happened to you in there?"

"God, you've heard what happens to cops in prison Doug. You know, you hear all this stuff and you think no big deal, I can handle myself. But you really have no idea until you're surrounded by the entire cell block. There were so many of them Doug!"

Penhall looked down at his partner, suddenly struck by his small frame, young face and impossibly innocent wide eyes and was hit by a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Tell me they didn't Tom, please." he said surpressing feelings of fear and rage.

"No", he said kindly. "Still not for lack of trying, threatened to frequently, I was always looking over my shoulder."

As Doug watched Tom bury his head in his hands, his ever lengthening mop of dark hair covering what his hands didn't, shouders silently shaking, it was his turn to feel guilty. Remembering what had happened at Lincoln, what he had done to Tom, meant only as a harmless joke, he was crushed.

"Tom, I'm so sorry" he said, pulling him close and holding him. At that moment Doug felt more hatered towards Raymond Crane than he ever thought possible to feel. How dare he reduce his best freind into this broken figure in front of him. Tom Hanson, who always seemed so calm and in control. There was a time years ago when this had made Doug think Hanson cold and emotionless. He soon came to realise that this of course was not the case, that Tom was in fact one of the most emotional, caring people he had known. The problem was he kept all this so far hidden that it was almost impossible to know when he was hurting. Well he wasn't going to let him suffer alone anymore.

"It's gonna be ok Tom. You've been through a rough time, things like this take a while, you know, they're supposed to. It will get easier I promise" he told him, not really knowing what to say but desperate to say something to make him feel better.

"It's been nearly a year. I was only there a few months.", Tom said regaining some of his usual composure.

"Hey I couldn't cope for four days in a juve lock up without losing it. I think you've coped pretty well. Just stop keeping all this to yourself ok. Anyway as far as the future goes, do you remember what you told me when I thought that girl could see the future?"

"I remember you thinking aliens were abducting you and taking you for a ride on the goodyear blimp", Tom said, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Watch it Hanson!" Doug said smiling. Then doing his best Tom Hanson imitation, "The future hasn't been written yet and I believe I have some say in how it happens!"

"I can't believe you're throwing that back at me Penhall!" he said, his smile widening.

"Why have you kept all this quiet for so long? Why didn't you talk to us?"

"Harry needed us, and you and Judy have had your own stuff to deal with. You had your hands full with Clavo, I didn't want to add to it."

"What made you think I would ever not want to be there for you?"

"I never thought that. I just didn't want to make things any more difficult for you guys." He took a deep breath and said, "Please don't tell the others."

"Ok.So, we good?"

"Yeah, we're good".

"Promise me that you'll come to me if you need to talk. You're my best friend, man, and I love you"

"Yeah, I know. Look Doug, I'm sorry about this" he said slightly embarassed.

"Hey, don't. I'm glad you told me. Besides, none of this leaves this room right" he said only half seriously.

"Oh of course not." Tom said gently mocking him. "Especially not, you know..."

"Oh definately not man!" then he said more seriously, "Will you do me a favour and stay here tonight?"

"Why, you think i'll do something stupid! I'm a bit depressed Doug, I'm not crazy!", Tom a said a little too agressively.

"I didn't say that. Look, it'd make me feel better, ok."

"Ok." he said with a sigh.

Hearing a small noise from the corner of the room Tom and Doug turned to see Clavo standing in the door way to his room sleepyly rubbing his eyes.

"Hey pal!" Tom said smiling

"What you doing up four footer?" Doug said picking up the little boy.

"I'm thirsty".

"You've got a drink in your room amigo!" Doug said as he carried him back to bed.

"Hasta manana Tommy", Clavo said waving over Dougs shoulder

"Sleep tight kiddo."

"Blanket's in the drawer Tom"

"Thanks Doug". With one last wave from Clavo he and Doug left the room leaving Tom alone. He walked over to the drawer Doug had pointed out and pulled out the first blankets he laid hands on. He hadn't realised how tired he was until he lay down on Dougs old couch. He closed his heavy tired eyes and was asleep almost imedeately.

As Tom slept peacfully in the other room, Doug lay awake listening for any sound coming from the other rooms. This was a habit he had got down pretty well since he brought Clavo to live with him. He started thinking over everything Hanson had told him and decided he was going to talk to Fuller first thing in the morning. Tom needed more help than he alone could give him and no amount of protest or reasurance from Hanson could convince him otherwise. They had all been so focused on Harry since he had come out of hospital that they had completely missed everything that had been going on with Tom. Thinking back he could see all the signs, his occaisionaly surly and withdrawn behaviour, his disinterest, mood swings, the dark circles under his eyes. Why hadn't he seen it? It was with these thoughts going round in his mind that he finally fell asleep.

He was woken a couple of hours later by Tom's cries from the other room. He rushed into the living room, grabbed his friend by the shoulders and Tom's eyes suddenly snapped open. For a moment he was in a total state of panic and confusion until he realised that the face looking down at him was Penhall's. The look of concern and pity on that face was almost too much for him to take.

"Hey, are you alright?" Doug asked, obviously worried.

"Just a dream." he said trying to smile. "Sorry I woke you. Didn't wake the kid did I?"

"Don't worry, he sleeps through anything. What the hell kind of dream was that?"

"Hey, it's fine, i'm used to it, really".

"Tom?"

"Seriously, I'm ok. Go back to sleep."

With one more questioning look at his friend, Doug started back towards his room, thinking he was definatley going to talk to Fuller, promise or no.

Tom looked around the room, trying to make his surroundings real. A bittersweet smile came across his face as his eyes rested on a framed picture of Doug's late wife Marta, and he realised this was the only thing in the place that looked cared for. Then suddenly feeling tired and ashamed, he turned over and tried to sleep.

When Doug awoke the next morning he began to think of a way to get Tom to stay in the appartment and not go to the Chapel today. He had looked shattered last night and needed some time out. So as he went to wake Clavo, he began to prepare for a full scale argument with Tom. This wasn't necessary however as when he took Clavo into the kitchen to get him some breakfast Hanson was still sound asleep. Thinking this way would be best, and easier all round, Doug did his best to keep Clavo quiet, making him eat his cereal in his room and keeping his cheerful insecent chatter to a minimum.

"Ok little four footer, Tommy's not well ok and he needs to sleep for a real long time. So we're gonna keep real quiet si?"

"Si!" Clavo said smiling cheerfully. "Doug if Tommy's staying home today can I stay home too?"

"No. You've gotta go to day care, learn lots of new things and play with all your friends so you can tell me all about it when I pick you up ok?"

"OK"

"Right, we ready?"

"Si!"

"Up you go then." said Doug as he hoisted the little boy on his back. "Remember real quiet ok!".

Doug crept through the lliving room, Clavo on his back with his hands covering his mouth, bright little eyes darting round the room. As he closed the door behind him Doug let out a sigh of relief. So far so good, he thought, knowing it would be easier to talk to Fuller with Tom out of the way. He was also thinking how pissed he was gonna be when he woke up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Still not mine :0(**

"Morning Penhall" came Judy Hoffs cheerful voice as he entered the Chapel

"Hey Jude."

"Fuller's looking for you. You're late."

"Damn, what time is it!"

"9.30. Where's Hanson, he and Harry need to get going".

"Not well. He's staying home today".

"You poison him last night Doug?" came Harry's mocking voice.

"Very funny Harry. I happen to be an excellent cook. Besides he brought pizza."

"Nothing serious is it?"

"Nah, Jude. Probably just one of those 24 hour things. I better go see Fuller. Catch you guys later ok."

He took a deep breath as he knocked on Fullers door, thinking how he was going to approach this, and feeling like scum for betraying his best friend.

"Captain, can I talk to you?"

"Penhall, I thought the whole point of you being on desk duty was so that you had a predictable schedule".

"I'm sorry. Look Captain, I need to talk to you about Hanson".

"What about him? Actually where is he?"

"Asleep at my appartment."

"What?"

"On the sofa Captain" Doug said slightly offended.

"Grow up Doug! Why is he at your place sleeping instead of at work? He's on a case!"

"It's ok. I phoned the principle pretending to be his dad and told him he was ill and I was keeping him home."

"What's going on Doug?"

"He broke down at my place last night."

"Sit down! Talk to me", said Fuller, clearly concerend.

"Did you know he hasn't slept more than three hours a night since he got out of prison?"

"Yeah, a while back. But he said he was doing better recently".

"Well he's not. Did he tell you about the nightmares?"

"That's not unusual Doug. Prison isn't a pleasant place you know."

"Nah. These are different."

"How?"

"He say he dreams that Ronnie Seebok, Kenny Wheckerly and a bunch of other kids are in there with him and it sounds kinda like they're putting him on trial. He says everything that happened to these kids is his fault. He thinks Ronnie is dead because he made a mistake handling evidence. He also said that Harry's there too, dying Captian, and he's stuck behind bars and can't help him, so he just watches him die."

"He told you this?"

"And more. You should have heard the things he was saying. He really believes this shit. I've never seen him this way before." Dougs voice began to waver. "He needs help Captain, and as much as I wish i could , I'm not equipped to do that. I've always protected him when we've been in situations when we've been in physical danger. Just took it for granted that I'm bigger and stronger so I had to lookout for him. But I can't protect him from this. The truth is Captain, he's really a much stronger person that I am and he's always been there for me, for all of us when we've needed someone. Now he needs my help and I can't give it to him."

"You helped just by being there for him last night Doug. He needed to let it out, and you've done the right thing coming to me".

"Did he tell you about the beatings and threats?"

"No but it's not difficult to guess. Cop in prison, you hear about it all the time", Fuller said.

"That's not what he meant, is it Doug?", Judy Hoffs had been listening outside and hearing this she walked into the office.

"How long have you been there?" Doug snapped.

"A while."

"Oh great. I promised Tom I wouldn't tell anyone."

"We all want to help him Doug! What do you mean Hoffs?"

"Come on Captain. Think about it. Being a cop in jail is bad enough, but Hanson isn't the biggest guy is he? And he does kind of attract alot of attention." She looked at Doug. "They didn't do anything to him did they?"

As it registered what she meant, Fuller looked sick.

"No. They tried to and treatened to constantly", his eyes darkened as he turned to them. "I don't want that going any further ok. Tom told me in confidence and it' s hard enough for him having me know."

"Oh god, poor Hanson", Judy said softly as she sat down on a chair at Fullers desk.

"Captain?"Doug said as he put a comforting arm on Judy's shoulder, "It's been almost a year. Why's he still hurting so much?"

"Doug, he was sent to prison for the rest of his life knowing he was innocent. That's not an easy thing to get over. But then to be subjected to all that bullshit and never dealing with it, that only makes it worse. As you said Doug, talking to you isn't enough. I'll talk to him, get him to see the department pshycologist".

"That's the last thing he want's Captian. That's why he made me promise not to tell you."

"And that just tells me he knows he has a problem".

"He won't go to a shrink Captain. Besides, he was fine after we talked, still sleeping like a baby when I left".

"Doug", Judy put in, "You said yourself you can't give him the help he needs".

"If he won't see the shrink I'll have to won't I, we all will. We owe him Jude", he replied giving her a meaningful look.

"Look Penhall", Fuller said, "We all missed the signs ok. But we're here for him now, but he can't go on carrying all this with him, he needs help from a professional. I need you to help convince him."

"I'll try,but I can't promise miracles."

"Your his best friend Doug, he'll listen to you"

"I said i'll try!"

"Thats all we ask"

Tom woke with a start. He looked around the room, not knowing where he was at first.

"Oh god, what time is it?" he said to the empty room, while trying to ease the stiffness in his neck. Then as he looked at his watch his eyes grew wide in shock as if to swallow his entire face as he realised it was 11.30. He had slept for almost 12 hours.

Leaping up off the couch he shouted "Doug! Come on we're late. Fullers gonna kick our asses if..." he stopped short as he opened the door to Dougs room and realised he was alone.

"Son of a bitch!" he yelled as he grabbed his boots and keys and bolted for the door.

Hanson stormed through the Chapel door, ignoring Judy and Blowfishes cheerful greetings, and oblivious to Judy's badly disguised looks of concern, as he marched straight over to Penhalls desk.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he snapped as Doug looked up.

"You looked so cute, I didn't want to disturb you. Anyway you needed the rest. You've got much more colour in your cheeks this morning, nice shade of red!" he said trying to put off any serious conversations until later.

"I'm on a case man! Fullers gonna kill me!"

"Relax, I dealt with Fuller. He thinks I gave you food poisoning."

Tom looked at Doug with suspicsion and Doug watched as that familar look of annoyance came over Hanson's face.

"You told him, didn't you?"

"Tom I had to, I'm sorry".

"You're saying that an awful lot lately". he lowered his voice as he saw Harry making his way over. "We'll discuss this later!", then turning on his warmest smile he called out "Harry! Good to see ya!"

"Yeah, yesterday was such a long time ago!" Harry said before looking at Penhall with questioning eyes. Doug shrugged it off as Hanson's smile dissappeared and he flashed him a venomous look.

"So Hanson, you ready to come to work or is your head still a little sore?" Harry asked, the chill in his voice all too evident.

Doug noticed his friends shoulders tense as Harry said this and he pulled his most innocent expression.

"Let's just go Harry." Then as Harry turned to walk away Tom rounded on Doug. "You told them I was hungover! Why would you do that?"

"Hey it was either that or diahorea. Which would you prefer?"

"Hanson, you coming!" came the impatient bark

"Yeah Harry, just a minute." he snapped, returning Harry's warmth, then turning to Doug with a look of disgust on his face "I'll deal with you later!".

Doug watched him leave the Chapel with Harry with a small smile on his face, a little relieved at seeing Hanson's trademark indignant act. This smile quickly disappeared however as Judy came over.

"Did you talk to him about the psychiatrist?"

"Not yet" he answered flatly.

"Doug!"

"You saw him. He's doing ok, telling me off just like old times! Look Judy, this isn't really the place to bring it up is it?"

"He shouldn't be working. He should be taking time out."

"Hey Judy, I know Tom ok, and what he needs is normality, and to him that's working. Treating him like a head case isn't going to help".

"But you will talk to him?"

"I said I would didn't I!"

"Make sure you do."

"Did you talk to Harry?"

"Yeah. Be patient with him Doug. He's been through alot".

"Well, so has Hanson, and Ioki was outta line".

"That's why he needs help."

"Hey, for the record he isn't crazy!"

"No one said he was Doug", she said enigmatically before heading back to her desk.


	6. Chapter 6

**Still not mine :0(**

Hanson pulled his car into the school parking lot and let out a frustrated sigh as he pulled out the thick glasses he had been hiding behind for the past few days. Squinting through the lenses he surveyed the campus for Mike.

"So how's the head Tom?"

"I don't have a hangover ok." he replied through gritted teeth.

"Why the hell would you be sleeping on Penhall's couch if you weren't too drunk to drive home last night?"

"Because Harry, we can't bear to be apart ok! Can we go to work now?"

"Is there something you're not telling me Hanson?"

"Ok so I had a hangover. Last time I checked it wasn't against the law." he snapped.

"Alright! I'll let it go". Then smiling playfully Harry said "Hey Tom"

"What?"

"You know those glasses magnify your eyes beautifully!"

"Will you just go to work!" Hanson said smiling and aiming a half hearted backhand at Harry, relived to see some hint of a thaw.

"Hey Tom!" came a voice from across the yard.

"Mike! Hey this my friend Harry Choi, the source I mentioned."

"Oh yeah. So you help Tommy here get kicked out of school"

"Among other things", Harry replied.

"Harry could help expand your business." Tom said calmly.

"I don't deal with guys I don't know" Mile replied. "Anyway, you still help with my maths problem Tom?"

Harry looked at Tom in shocked amusement.

"Sure, libary at lunchtime right?"

"Thanks man!" Mike said clapping Tom on the back.

"Maths? You?" Harry mouthed at Tom as Mikes back was turned. Tom shrugged his shoulders and he and Harry followed Mike towards the school.

"Ah, Tom! Feeling better?", the teacher asked as he entered the classroom.

"Yes thank you sir. Just a migraine."

Harry quickly clapped a hand over his mouth to stiffle a wild burst of laughter. Tom gave him a look of mild annoyance.

The library was almost deserted as Tom and Mike took seats as far from the library monitor as possible, so as not to be overheard.

"Why are you so desperate to get in on this? Didn't you just transfer in?"

"Yeah" Tom replied, "But I get bored easy, what can I say?"

"Hey don't get me wrong man, I like you, but I gotta be able to trust someone before getting into stuff like this".

"I understand man!"

"Your friend really has connections"

"His Dad's a very powerful man in China", he replied smiling

"Triads?"

"Hey, I didn't say nothing!", Tom said non commitally.

"What kinda quantity are we talking here?"

"A key at a time."

"Really?"

"Told you he was well connected."

"If I set up a meeting with my guy you think Harry could sort something out?"

"Yeah, course!"

"Ok. It's gonna take some time. Look I gotta go make a quick call, then we'd better get started on this stuff"

"Right man!" Tom said as he watched Mike walk away with a contented smile on his face. "Piece of cake" he said to himself.

"It worked. I'm telling you it's them!" he said

"Are you sure?", came the voice from the other end

"Yeah, pretty boy and a zip head! So any news?"

"They're moving him in a few weeks. You think you can stall them there till then?"

"I don't know. This Hanson is quite the persistant one."

"Really? We hear he has a few issues. Apparently jail didn't agree with his delecate constitution!"

"My heart bleeds!"

"He has guilt issues. Play on that, he might not be in such a hurry to finish with this case. Fancies himself a councellor this one does!"

"Ok. Keep me posted. I want to know when this thing's going down"

"Of course!" Then the line went dead.

"So," Mike began as he returned and took a seat across from Tom. "You sure you wanna get into this."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"I don't get it, you seem like a smart guy. What you wanna get invloved in this stuff for?"

"9 to 5 doesn't really agree with me" Tom replied with a wry smile.

"Yeah, well I'm getting out as soon as I can. Once I get enough money to put down some roots, take care of my Mom, I'm gone."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah. This is a mugs game Tom. I'm just tired of moving around, feeling like I don't belong anywhere."

"I hope it works out for you man, really."

"Thanks. Hey getting the hang of this won't do any harm. So..."

"Yeah sure." Tom smiled.

Later that afternoon as Hanson was filling out the necessary but tedious paperwork that seems to have breeded uncontrolably on his desk, he heard the familiar and ominous bark of his commanding officer calling his name.

"Hanson! My office now, please!"

Shooting an angry glance at Doug sat at the next desk, Hanson followed Fuller into his office.

"Look Captain, i know what you're going to say and I'm sorry it won't happen again. Now if that's all I've got a stack of paperwork..."

"That's not what I want to talk to you about" Fuller interupted. "Sit down"

Tom gave his captain a weary look and sat down across from Fullers desk. The older officer remained standing. Looking down at Hanson, Fuller suddenly felt very protective towards his youngest officer, who at 16 had had to deal with his fathers murder, and now, still only 25, had seen more than most men twice his age. He always seemed so grounded and in control, but there was something about him, probably the youthful face and impossibly innocent eyes, that sometimes gave an air of extreme vunerability.

"You lied to me Tom."

"I'm sorry?"

"You told me everything was ok"

"You've been talking to Doug." he said slighly irritated.

"He's worried about you. So am I. I wish you'd have come to me."

"Look, I'm fine. I just needed to get some things off my chest. I talked things through with Doug and he actually said some things that made alot of sense."

"Like what?"

"That I can't be responsible for other people making the wrong choices."

"Now say it like you believe it."

"Coach I'm fine, really."

"We've been here before Hanson! I'm not letting you do this again. I want you to talk to somebody"

"I have."

"I mean a professional Tom."

"I don't need a shrink!"

"I'm referring you to the department pshyciatrist, and this time I want you to go."

"I'm not crazy!" Tom said, a little too loud for Fullers liking.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Hanson shot him his dirtiest look at hearing this. "I didn't say you were crazy Tom. I just think it could help if you spoke to a disinterested party. Help you see things objectively."

"And what would you like me to tell him Captain?" Tom said, his voice calm and detached. "That I can't get prison out of my head. That I hate who I've become? What?"

"The only thing you have to reproach yourself for is keeping all this to yourself and thinking it will just go away. You're a special person Hanson. You have time for people that others wouldn't give a second thought to. Let people be there for you, ok."

"I don't need a professional Captain. I've got my family."

"Do me a favour. Go once and if you honestly don't think it will help I won't mention it again. Deal?"

"Yeah ok" Tom said dismissively.

"Good man. Oh, and Tom, how are you and Harry getting on?"

"Slowly. This guy doesn't trust easy. But we'll get there."

As Hanson turned to leave the room Fuller called after him "Call the shrink!"

"Yes coach!"

As he closed the door he was immeadiately accosted by Penhall.

"I've got nothing to say to you" he snapped

"I'm sorry man. You scared me, I didn't know what else to do."

"I trusted you Doug. First chance you get you blab to Fuller. Who else have you told?"

"No one. Hey, I thought I was doing the right thing here."

"By betraying my trust!"

"Hey I didn't know what to do!", he said putting his hands on Tom shoulders as he tried to walk away, easily restraining his smaller friend. "You know I'm here if you need me"

"So you can report everything back to Fuller!"

"I'm serious Tom!" he shouted as Hanson stormed out of the door and headed for his car.

Hanson drove around for hours trying to put off going home for as long as possible, but after three hours of driving aimlessly and his gas meter reading next to nothing, he pulled up outside his apparment building and killed the engine. He sat there staring at the buildling, his eyes finding the window that belonged to his appartment.

"Don't be an idiot Hanson!" he scolded himself, "This is your home, get a grip!"

He climbed out of his car and made his way to the door. Putting the key in the lock, he suddenly felt a huge weight on his shoulders. He took a deep breath and entered the room, groaning as his eyes found yesterdays dirty dishes. The appartment was a mess, so just as an excuse to stop thinking he began to aimlessly tidy things away, but gave it up as a bad job as he realised he really didn't care what state the place was in. Instead he began flicking through numerous TV chanels, but being unable to find anything that didn't make him want to vomit, switched off the TV and sat listening to the silence of the appartment. He remembered his mom had left a message on his answering machine, but thinking of the inevitable "how are you Tommy" conversation he dismissed that idea too.

As he was begining yet another circuit of his living room there was a knock on the door. Letting out a irritated sigh he went to open the door to the sight of a very harrased looking Judy Hoffs.

"Can I come in?", she asked.

"No!"

"Tough."

"What do you want?" Tom snapped.

"I wanted to see you. You've not been around much lately and I want to know what's going on with you Hanson"

"There's nothing going on."

"Don't give me that. You practically ripped Penhalls head off and look at the state of this place."

"First of all, Doug can be irritating at the best of times, and whatever it was about is between me and Doug. Secondly," he said trying to smile at her, "this is the best my place has looked in months. I'm sorry Jude. I'm on a frustrating case and it's just starting to get to me."

"Yeah?"

"Kids just not biting! Besides those glasses give me a bitch of a headache." he smiled warmly at her.

"I guess Harry's attitude isn't helping much either."

"Yeah, well, he'll get over it."

"You should talk to Doug, he was really upset."

"Yeah, I'm sure!"

"Hanson, he's worried about you."

"Why is everyone suddenly so concerned for my well being? Look at me I'm fine!"

"You look exhausted. I don't like seeing your pretty face look so drawn."she said

"That's just cos I'm getting old." he said trying to lighten the mood. "Well as you're here anyway, you wanna stay for a beer Jude?" he asked suddenly

"Yeah sure." she smiled. "It's been a while since I had a hot date."

"The hottest, baby!" Tom said jokingly.

"Modest too!"

"Of course!" he said handing her a beer.

"I hope Harry's giving you more help than he gave me on our last case".

"Yeah I noticed that! I'm not really top of his Christmas Card list either."

"So?"

"Yeah, I guess he has."

"Oh good, so it's not just me he can't be bothered with." Judy said a little sadly.

"Harry's had a tough year!" Tom said trying to comfort her.

"So have you!" Jude said looking him in the eye.

"Yeah, and Doug's had it so easy!" Tom said sarcasticly, then seeing a way to steer the conversation away from him he said softly, "you haven't exactly had a fun year either. Look we've all had a rough time, but we're all getting through it."

"I am, thanks mostly to you guys. You especially Hanson. I never really told you how greatful I was."

"Anytime babe!Hey" he said putting his arm round her and drawing her close as she rested her head on his shoulder."It's nothing. Don't worry about Harry either he'll come round".

"You and Doug seem to be doing ok."

"Me and Doug didn't nearly die."

"Doug lost his wife and you nearly spent the rest of your life jail."

"Doug's got Clavo, he's got to be ok!"

"What about you?"

"Me? I've got my freedom and a refridgerator full of beer!"

"Hanson!" she said fiening impatience. "Harry just seems so distant. The way he laid into you the other day was just so unlike him."

"Yeah well, maybe he had good reason"

"Like what?" she asked eying him with concern.

"Nevermind" he said waving her question away.

" We all used to be so close, told each other everything.You've all been like brothers to me. I know me and Harry aren't as close as you and Doug, but I thought we had a pretty strong friendship. What's changed?" she said becomming tearful as she let out her frustration towards Ioki. Then, remembering why she had come to Tom's appartment in the first place she wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, I come over to make sure you're Ok and I end up chewing your ear over my problems" she said looking up helplessly into Tom eyes.

"That's why I'm here!" he replied holding her closer.

With a rueful smile she said "Alway's the big brother aren't you Hanson? When are you going to let someone take care of you? You know we're all really proud of you"

Tom suddenly felt like running away. If he had to hear anyone else tell him what a great guy he was he would puke! "Jude..." he began trying to change the subject again.

"Really, Hanson. You've been so brave the way you've had rebuild your life. I don't know if I could have done it. Yet you still find time to take care of the rest of us".

She hadn't been near another man since the rape. She had always felt safe with Hanson, and looking into the kind and much loved face of her friend she suddenly decided she was going to try to take back some of what she lost that night.

Whether it was because they were both feeling so vunerable and in need of comfort or something more, at that moment he couldn't tell. But as their eyes met Judy put a hand up to Tom's face and drew close to him kissing him softly on the lips and working her hands into his hair. For a moment he was stunned and not sure how to react, but before he knew what was happening he was kissing her back.

At first Judy felt annoyed with herself for being so stupid as Hanson remained shocked and rigid, but then she felt him lean in towards her and felt his lips gently pressed against hers. She put her arms tightly around him, breathing him in, the familar pleasant scent she had always noticed whenever he stood near her. She had always wondered what it would be like to be with Tom Hanson, and here she was, in the appartment of one of her best friends, finding herself thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad if things went further. As he reached up and brushed back her hair and she saw those oh so familiar eyes looking at her she decided that on second thoughts maybe it would.

"Sorry" she said as she gently pulled away. "I don't know why I did that. Probably wasn't the best idea".

"Don't worry about it" he anwsered still a little shocked, if a little bit regretful it didn't last longer. "It's been a while since a beautiful girl hit on me."

"Now that I don't believe Hanson! Have you seen you? Besides I wasn't hitting on you. You got me drunk!" she said teasing him.

"Maybe you should sit over there." he said only half seriously.

"Relax Hanson. You're not that irrisitable!"

"Way to boost my ego Jude. Come here." he said putting his arm round her again.

She settled close to him and rested her head back on his shoulder.

"Jude can I ask you something?"

"Sure. You know you can ask me anything."

"Think about this really hard ok, cos I gotta know."

"What" she said a touch of concern in her expression.

"Who's better me or Doug?"

"Hanson" she said playfully punching him in the arm. "I knew he'd tell you".

"Doesn't matter. I know I'm better cos you made a move on me you Jezabel, Judy Hoffs" Tom said laughing."Thanks for stopping by Jude. it's good to see you."

"Anytime. I love you"

"Yeah, me too."

"So you'll set things right with Doug?"

"After I let him stew for a while, yeah. Hey I've gotta talk to him anyway, how else will we compare notes?"

"Hanson! You dare and..."

"Relax! It goes no futher", he said laughing.

Judy ended up heading home around one with a final order for Tom to talk to Penhall first thing in the morning. Watching her go Tom felt quite lost. Having her there had been a nice distraction. Her parting words turned his thoughts to Doug, and as he closed the door to his appartment and looked anxiously around the empty room he felt ashamed thinking of everything his best freind had been through. Having his wife deported after only five days, then going through hell to get her back only to find he was too late. Tom had been with him all the way and had seen how devestating it had been for him. Now here he was faced with bringing up someone elses child and actually doing a pretty good job. His problems over the past few years had been nothing compared to that, he thought and he couldn't even be alone in his own place without feeling scared and anxious.

Not wanting to face his bedroom, he grabbed a spare blanket from the dresser near the door and settled on the couch, with the T.V on muted just for some semblance of company and eventually fell asleep only to be woken hours later by the now familiar hoarse screams, shaking and sweating. His unkempt hair obscured his vision and it took him a while to realise that the light he could see was not the harsh light of a prison cell but the glow from the static on the TV he had left playing. Filled with shame and frustration he picked up the nearest thing he could find, which happened to be his service revolver, and threw it through the TV screen shattering it to pieces. Just then his eyes rested on the referral notice that Fuller had given him. He picked it up and studied it carefully, actually considering calling the guy in the morning. However after staring at it for several minutes he picked it up and walked over to the stove. After lighting it he held the paper to the flame and watched it until there was nothing left but a smoking pile of ash.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm going away for a few days so as you've all been so kind with your encouraging reviews here's a extra long update to keep you going.**

**Jump Street and it's employees still don't belong to me!**

Startled out of sleep Mike ran to the phone. As he picked it up he was greeted by the now familiar yet unknown voice.

"Everything is arranged. They are moving him in two days, can you get these cops to agree to meet you?"

"Yeah man, wrapped around my finger."

"Excellent. Listen, the Japs a better bet, so try and seperate them and stall Hanson for as long as you can. He wants them all together but not until he's had his fun ok."

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea anymore. I mean we're talking about cops here!"

"You loosing your bottle Mikey?"

"No. It's just you said this was going to be quick and easy. From what I've heard about these guys they're alot tougher than they look. They'd have to be right" he chuckled nervously."Anyway, they're not bad guy's and they were just doing thier job."

"Hey if you want us to get someone else I'm sure we can find some other way. Your uncle will understand".

"No, i'll do it. Just make sure nothing goes wrong" he stammered, suddenly feeling out of his depth.

"You just worry about your end of this and leave them to us."

Raymond Crane was escorted onto the prison transport van by two armed policemen. After a number of escape attempts over the past few months he was being moved to a maximum security facility in the next state. They were five miles from the state line when they were stopped by a group of five men armed with automatic weapons who were spread out across the centre of the road. As the van slowed they took aim and fired through the windshield instantly killing the driver. The van spun out of control and ended up wrapped around a tree at the side of the road. The second police officer was thrown from the van and as he dragged himself off the ground he was hit by a barrage of gunfire and was dead in seconds.

The man in the back of the van hauled himself up into a standing position just as a crack of light began to show through the door.

"Mr Crane?" said a tall heavy built man as he opened that door to the van. Mike Powell would have recognised the voice instantly "Your escort has arrived sir."

"Hey, where you've been hiding? I've been trying to call you all week." Doug asked as Hanson dumped his reports on his desk, "I thought we were ok?"  
"We are."

"So why have you been avoiding me?"

"Doug I've been busy. I'm on a case."

"How's it going."

"Really slowly."

"Yeah I heard. There's not much to go on with this kid huh?"

"Nah. No priors, not even so much as a detention. He's smart. You know, if he wanted too, he could do so much more."

"Not with you as his maths tutor."

"You wanna take over?" Hanson said with a grin.

As Doug studied his partner he was relieved at how much better he seemed. His smile was genuine enough and the distant demenour he had been adopting seemed to have lifted. In fact as far as Doug could see he was just being Tom again.

"Nah! You might not be great at it but you can't be worse than me. I think i got straight D- on everything."

"Doug Penhall, gentleman scholar!" Tom said sarcastically with a crooked grin on his face.

"Good to see you back to your old self. You saw Fuller's shrink then?"

"Yeah, couple of weeks ago."

"So everythings good?"

"Yeah. Never better!"

"Hanson" Harry called, the momentary thaw was over and although the open hostility was on hold Harry remained proffesional and distant where Tom was concerned.

" Mike just called he wants to meet us, make some kind of arrangment."

"Finally. Okey dokey lets roll."

"How's things with him?" Doug asked as Harry walked away.

"Don't ask."

Penahall watched them go, once again wishing that he was working this case instead of Harry.

After that mornings classes were over Hanson went looking for Harry. They still had no idea how Mike was managing to get such a large quantity of drugs into the school. They had seen him selling to other kids from his seemingly endless supply, but no sign as to where it was coming from. He finally managed to find Harry as he made his way through the hallway.

"So, anything new?"

"No" came Harry's short reply.

"You're telling me not one of these kids has mentioned anything about Mikes little operation?"

"That's right. Are you saying I'm not doing my job properly?"

"No. I'm just thinking maybe there's something we're missing here."

"You're the big shot, you figure it out!"

"I see, we're back here again are we. Well why don't we just each work our own area and stay out of each others way."

"Best idea you've ever had."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Hey guy's?" came Mike's voice, as both the young officers spun round to face him.

"What's up?"

"I may be able to set up that side project we've been discussing."

"When?" Tom asked lowering his voice as a small group of teenagers passed by.

"After school, in the parking lot just inside the gates."

"Isn't that a little too out in the open?" Harry asked

"Exactly. More cover that way."

"Whatever you think." Tom said with a shrug of resignation.

"See you there."

"We'll be there" Tom called after him as he walked away.

Doug was sorting through files when Fuller came out of his office in a state of panic and called Doug and Judy over urgently.

"What's going on Captain?" Doug asked as he made his way over.

"We've got a problem guys. Raymond Crane escaped as he was being transferred earilier today"

"So they add more time to his sentence." Doug said "Couldn't happen to a nicer guy."

"Crane has a sister living in the city, Alison Powell, Mike Powell's mother" Fuller said, his voice and face grave.

Judy and Doug both looked at him astonished.

"Hanson and Harry are meeting with Mike any minute" Judy said paniced

"We better move quick" Fuller said.

"Ok Iokage! Let's just wrap this up and get outta here." Hanson looked around in disgust. They had been working this guy for nearly two months and it was begining to get old. The thick glasses and anorack weren't making the experience any more pleasant. The glasses gave him headaches and the anorack was just bad. Numerous times over the past couple of months he had asked himself what the hell he had been thinking with this cover. All they had to do now was make the buy, bring the guy in and bingo, outta here!

They made their way over to the gates where they were to meet Mike Powell and his street connection who had been supplying these supposedly smart kids with cocaine.

"So how we gonna play this?" Harry asked

"I'll make the buy, you cover the gates incase he bolts."

"Sure. Another chance to play hero huh?"

"You wanna tell me what I've done to you that's so wrong, cos this is getting really old Harry." When no reply came Tom grew impatient. "You do nothing but throw shit at me for weeks and you can't even tell me why? Well I'm really glad you have such a good reason for throwing our friendship down the tubes. I don't know what's got into you Harry, and to be honest I'm not sure I even care anymore, but we've gotta work together so why don't you get over it"

"Get over it? I nearly died!"

"I know Harry, and I'm sorry. But do you think you're the only one who's been hurting."

"No I don't. But it seems to me that you're the only one who came out of all this unscathed. Did you ever give Booker and Penhall a second thought while they were out risking everything for you? You blow in, turn everything upside down and then after others have picked up the pieces you just carry on as normal."

"Is that what you think?" Tom asked calmly.

"You gonna tell me different?"

"You believe what you want ok Harry. Can we continue this later cos we've still got a job to do" Tom said as he watched Mike approach with an obviously dodgy older man at his side.

"I recognise that guy from somewhere." Harry said once he saw him more clearly.

"Where from?" Tom asked

"I can't place it. I'd better keep my distance incase he recognises me."

"Yeah, why don't you do that" Hanson snapped as Harry quickly slipped away to cover the exits.

"My god, he couldn't make it any easier!", Tom said under his breath as he observed their approach.

Mike made the introductions.

"Matt, this is Tom, the guy I told you about."

"I hear you wanna buy a key"

"You hear right" Tom replied

"Thats alot of wieght. You thinking of dealing?"

"Of course"

"Whats in it for me?"

"The £12000 plus fifteen percent of any profits. You ok with that?"

"You got the money?"

"If you got the stuff?"

"Yeah I got it"

Harry watched from a distance as Tom handed the older guy what looked like a small wallet with one hand as he took hold of the cocaine with the other. Still trying to wrack his brains for where he'd seen that face before.

As Matt opened up the small leather case that held Officer Thomas Hanson's badge and ID a strange smile came across his face.

"This is you?" he asked Tom.

"Not my best side, but you get the picture."

"Yep we do."

Tom looked at him in a state of confusion as he turned to Mike, smiled and pulled out a walkie talkie. "Positive ID, move in"

"What the...". Tom was cut short as he watched a black sedan speed upto the gates. A tall man with an automatic weapon jumped out and let lose with a hail of bullets. Tom threw himself to the ground and as he looked up he saw a familiar figure climb out of the car.

Before he could move or say a word Raymond Crane had positioned himself behind Harry, who was trying to decipher what the hell was going on and to pinpoint his partners whereabouts, and hit him hard across the back of the head with the butt of another AK45. The last thing Harry remembered before darkness fell all around him was the sight of Tom desperately trying to make his way through the flying bullets towards him and calling out his name followed by a warning he couldn't quite make out over the noise of the machine guns.

"Harry!" Tom shouted as he tried to race to his freinds aid. "Behind you Harry, it's Crane!". All he could do was stare in horror as Harry fell unconcious to the ground. As he saw Matt run towards Crane and begin to lift Harry into the waiting car he broke his paralisis and hurried towards the car after them. Before he could get very far another round of automatic gunfire came flying in his direction and he was forced to the foor again. Before he could get to his feet the car was speeding away from the scene. Pulling out his gun he tried to shoot out one of the tyres to try and slow their getaway, but his hand was shaking and he was unable to apply enough pressure to pull the trigger. He sprang to his feet and raced towards his car. As he began running he heard an agonised groan from the floor. Looking down he saw Mike Powell bleeding heavily from a bullet wound in his upper torso.

"Shit!"he yelled as he ripped off his jacket and pressed it to the wound to try and stem the bloodflow. Frustrated and desperate to help Harry he began looking around for someone to call an ambulance and take over caring for Mike until it got here. Then sudenly he heard a blessedly familiar voice calling to him.

"HANSON!" came Penhall's cry.

"Doug, thank god" Tom replied as his partner came running towards him followed by Adam Fuller and Judy Hoffs. "We've gotta get Harry, Doug. Cranes got him. How the hell is Crane here? What the fuck is going on!"

"Tom you're not going anywhere. Judy and Fuller will take care of Crane for now ok."

"Which way did he go Hanson?" Fuller asked urgently.

"Headed south. Black Sedan, license number CQE 952. What are you talking about of course I'm going after him, the bastards got Harry!"

"We've gotta get you to a hospital man" Doug said calmly. "Look at your arm Tom."

Sure enough there was a ragged hole in his shirt were the bullet had pierced his arm.

"Shit! he said in frustration

"I want you to go with Doug to the hospital Hanson".

"No Captian, not till we help Harry."

"Look Tom, we'll put out an APB on the license number you gave us, they'll be every available unit out there looking for it. If it's anywhere in this state we'll find it. Now an ambulance is on it's way for the kid and I want you following it you understand. There's nothing more you can do in this state."

"Okey dokey Coach." he sighed. For once realising his captain was making sense Tom submitted and allowed Doug to help him to his truck and drive him to the hospital.

On the way there Tom was acting in a way that worried Doug a great deal.

"It was my dream Doug. Exactly like my dream. Harry needed my help and I did nothing."

"There was nothing you could do. You've been shot for Christs sake"

"Wait a minute. This isn't right. I'm not meant to be here." He was disorientated, his large brown eyes were glazed and scared. "You're not supposed to help me." he told Doug, his tone hurt and confused.

"Of course I'm meant to help you, man, what are you talking about?"

"That's how it happens. You wont help me, you won't even talk to me."

"Tom? What are you doing?". Doug was scared now and was driving as fast as he could to get Hanson to the hospital.

"I should've been able to help him."

Doug shot him another worried glance and drove on.


	8. Chapter 8

After the bullet was removed and his wound patched up, Hanson insisted on going striaght back to the Chapel. Doug filled him in on everything on the way there.

"You told me you went to see that pshyciatrist" Doug said as he followed Tom towards Fuller's office.

"I did. Didn't help!" he snapped back.

"I can see that."

"What are you suggesting Doug?"he said rounding on his friend.

"I don't know. Somethings going on with you. I can't explain it, can you?"

"How many times do I have to say this? I am not crazy."

"What are you basing that on? That little episode in my truck?"

"I was upset and in shock!" he yelled, anger flashing in his eyes. "I swear to god Doug, that goes any further you and I are through."

Ignoring the look of hurt on Dougs face Hanson headed for Fullers office.

"Any news" he asked as he burst through Fuller's door, closely followed by Doug and Judy.

"He dumped the car 5 miles from where they left you Tom."

Seeing the stricken look on his face, Judy put a supporting hand on his good arm.

"I can't believe I let them play me like that." Tom said in frustration. "How did we not see it?"

"You did everything right Hanson. You never risk your own life, no matter what the situation. You certainly don't go after men like Crane alone." Fuller said trying to comfort him.

"So what do we do now?" Hanson asked

"We find Harry" Fuller said matter of factly."Crane can't have many places to go. Every cop in the city will be on the look out for him by now"

"How was he there?" Doug asked giving voice to what the others were thinking.

"They were moving him to a high security facility upstate" Fuller began before being interupted by a distainfulful bark of laughter from Hanson, which he silenced with a vicious look of reproach. "Thank you Tom, we get the irony. Apparently he had about five men armed with Uzi's hijack the van and then they killed his police escort."

"Any thoughts on where he might be?" Hoffs asked.

"Not yet. It's a full scale manhunt, guys, he won't get far. Hanson, was Ioki armed?"

"I guess so. He doesn't go far without his gun recently."

"Ok. Look guy's, Harry's quite capable of taking care of himself for now. We'll find him. For now I want to know who Crane knows. any places he still owns where he might be hiding out. Get onto records department at city hall, pull the leases of every building you can. Check out anyone who worked for Crane before he went inside. One of these guys that bust him out may be hiding him. Did you get a look at any of them Hanson?"

"Yeah. This Matt guy and the one shooting at me."

"Would you recognise them if you saw them again."

"Definately Coach."

"Pull Cranes employee files and try and ID them."

"Harry said he recognised this Matt. He couldn't place him though. Could he have been on that ride last year?" Tom asked

"Maybe. Get on it guys."

As they all turned to leave Fuller called Hanson back.

"You got a minute Tom?"

"Captain?"

"How are you doing?"

"I'd be better if I could go find my friend." he answered coldly.

"I had a call from the department psychiarist, he wanted to know why he still hasn't heard from you."

"I've been busy."

"Don't give me that Hanson, we had a deal."

"Captain, I really don't need this. I'm ok, there's nothing to deal with, it's done."

"Hey. I'm looking out for your well being Tom. I'm your comanding officer, I'm responsible for you."

"Yeah, well, I didn't ask you to be".

"I'm also your friend, at least I hope so, and I care about you. I need to know you're ok."

"I am" Tom said, his voice softening.

"Is that why your hands are shaking?"

"I had bullets flying at me from all directions less than two hours ago Captain, one of which hit me. Now if that's all I'd like to go and help find Harry."

"Hanson!"

But the young officer gave no reply as he slammed the door behind him


	9. Chapter 9

When Harry came to all he could see was vague shapes in the darkness. He tried to remember what had happened and how he got here, not that he knew where here was. He tried to sit up but realised very quickly that his hands and feet were fastened tight. He remembered the gun fire and the agonising pain that had sliced through his head before darkness had come over everything. Then, with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach he remembered the last thing he saw before his eyes closed. Tom had been running towards him through the rain of bullets. He was now sick with worry as well as the pain in his head, and prayed to god that Tom was alright. Right now all he knew was that he himself was very definately not alright. For a start, he didn't know where he was or how the hell he got there. His thoughts whirled as he tried to loosen the restraints that were cuttung into his wrists, but to avail. After a few minutes of futile struggling a noise alerted him to another presence in the room.

"Who are you and what the hell do you want?" he called to the figure obscured by the shadows.

"A little bit of revenge" Raymond Crane said as he stepped out of the shadows. "I'm going to take a little something from you and your friends until I've got back some of what you took from me".

"Where's Tom? What did you do to him?"

"Officer Hanson? Don't worry, you'll see him and the rest of your buddies soon enough."

"You don't stand a chance Crane. They'll be out looking for me already."

"I'm counting on it." he said flashing Harry an eerie and sadistic smile. "Before I'm done you'll be wishing that bullet had finished you off."

"Every cop in the city will be looking for you. How do you think you're gonna get away with this?"

"Let me worry about that Officer Ioki, or would that be Officer Van Tran?" he gave a sly smile when he saw Harry's dark eyes grow three sizes wider. "Oh I know all about you my friend. Maybe you should write and let Granny know you're going to be a little late." he said as he walked towards the door at the end of the dark room.

"You stay the hell away from her" Harry yelled as an irrational fear took hold of him.

"I'll have to let you know about that one. See you soon." he shot back as he locked and bolted the door leaving Harry alone in the darkness.

"This is bullshit!" Tom said as he raked his hands through his thick unruly dark hair in frustration. "We're getting nowhere! Slowly!"

"Calm down Hanson! You heard Fuller, every unit in the city is out there looking for him."

"Patrol?" Tom laughed bitterly."When were they ever any use. Damn it Doug, we can't even run checks on buildings without waitng hours for clearence"

"Red tape, man. Perk of the job" Doug said with a wry smile

"Why are we bothering with this shit!"Tom yelled

"Hey!"Doug said trying to calm him."It beats sitting around waiting for news"

"Yeah, or listening to Fullers lectures".

"I didn't tell him Tom."

"I know, it's OK" Tom said giving Doug a wan smile.

"Something's been bothering me though" Doug said. "Why would Crane just go after Harry? We all helped put him away."

"Maybe he's not just after Harry"

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it. Crane's not stupid. He knows we're gonna be looking for Harry."

"You think he's planning something? Like what?"

"I don't know. That's what we've gotta figure out. Say he's not just after Iok. Why would he grab Harry, have his goons shoot at me and a bunch of kids and run? One of those kids was his own nephew"

"Trying to send us a message?"Doug sugested

Tom let out a heavy sigh, still tugging at his thick mess of hair.

"Look we need to move fast or Harry's going to be in serious trouble"

"So what do you suggest?"

"I think we need to get a little help from an old friend" Tom said, a sly smile playing on his lips as an idea began to form.

"Dennis, phone!" came a shout from the next room.

Dennis Booker sat at his desk, his head resting on his arms, bored to tears.

"No more missing animals Elaine, I mean it".

"He says his name's Tommy Hamburger. Mean anything?"

"Tommy Hamburger?" He puzzled this over for a few moments. The name sounded familiar. Then it hit him and he snatched up the reciever, a grin spreading over his face.

"Hanson?"

"Hey Dennis. How's business?" Tom's voice came from the other end.

"Slow."

"Good, cos we need your help."

"You heard about Crane then? You on the case?"

"Kind of" Tom said evasively

"Meaning not really I take it then Tommy?"

"Look Booker, the cop he grabbed, it was Harry!"

"What do you need?"

"Anything you have on Crane. Family, friends, aquantences, anyone he's ever come into contact with. We also need records of anywhere he may still own or have access to. We need some kind of lead on where he might be. We've just been hitting dead ends and red tape."

"Sure. You know you could get all this through official chanels Tommy".

"I don't want to go through official channels. Too slow".

"Fuller warned you off!"

"Not exactly. So you going to help us out or not?"

"Yeah, i'll get you anything you need. Not like I have anything else to do".

"Thanks man! See you at Dougs in a couple of hours?"

"Jesus, Hanson, you're not giving me much time."

"Yeah well, time's somthing Harry may not have the luxury of wasting."

"Ok, i'll see you in a couple of hours. Good to hear your voice Tommy."

Please don't say it, Tom thought, dreading the "how are you doing really Hanson" question. Instead Dennis simply said goodbye and hung up the phone. Tom smiled to himself, good old Dennis, self -absorbed to the last, god bless him.

"So is he in?" Doug asked

"Yeah he's in. Come on before Fuller realises we're back"

"We gonna bring Judy in on this?"

"Detective Hoffs? No way, man. Much as love Judy, she'd tell Fuller as soon as she knew what was going on".

"Good point!"

"What good is this going to do you Crane?" Harry asked "You're going back to jail. This is going to add years to your sentence. Escaping police custody, double homicide , kidnapping a cop, not to mention open fire on civilians. Not going to look to good is it?"

"Doesn't matter, they won't find me and by the time they find you I'll be long gone."

"Turn yourself in man, they might go easy on you, spend a couple of nights in solitary."

"I'm not going back! I've got nothing to lose cos you and your little friends took everything I had."

"What?" Harry said in disbelief. "You want pity! Well you've got the wrong guy man, or did you forget you tried to have me killed. Not only that but you framed one of my closest friends for murder. He spent months in jail and I spent months in a coma. I'm a bit short on pity!"

"Oh yes, your buddy Hanson! Don't worry, you'll be reunited soon."

Harry glared at Crane, his dark eyes boring a hole in Crane's forehead.

"Now what you're going to do is call your little family at your cosy chapel and get them down here so we can have a happy reunion." Crane said signaling to the same five men he had had bust him out, all still carrying thier guns.

"You think I'm stupid? I'm not getting my partners down here for you!"

"You must be stupid. Either that or you want to die" Crane said as five guns were pointed at Harry.

"You wont shoot me. You'll never get them down here without me!"

Crane walked over to where he had handcuffed Ioki to a pipe. Carrying a phone in one hand and a handgun in the other he said "Call them. Now!"

He cocked the gun and held it against Harry's temple and handed him the phone.

"Now call Jump Street Chapel and tell them I want to speak to your Officer Hanson."

"This is Judy" came Hoffs voice as she picked up the ringing phone on her desk.

Harry choked back a flood of emotion at the sound of his partners voice. Keeping his voice steady and almost cold he said in his most professional tone "This is Officer Ioki, could I speak with Officer Hanson?"

"Harry!" Judy screamed. At hearing this, Tom and Doug, who were making their way towards the door spun round and darted over to Judy's desk.

"Harry are you alright? Where are you?"

"I'm ok. If he's not busy please put Hanson on".

"Harry?" Judy said, distraught once again at her partners distant behaviour.

"Please!" he said, the slightest trace of desperation in his voice.

"What's wrong Jude?" came Hansons soft voice from over her shoulder.

"It's Harry. He wants to talk to you" she said somewhat dejected as she handed him the reciever.

"Harry? It's Tom, man, where are you?"

"Hello Tom", came Crane's voice.

"I want talk to Ioki right now!" Tom said, seething anger held just below the surface, eyes blazing. Judy had called Fuller in by this time, and he, Judy, Doug and Blowfish all stood round, questioning eyes all focused on Hanson.

"You're in no position to be making demands here Officer Hanson! Listen carefully"

There was some kind of noise in the background and Tom was straining to make out what Crane was saying while trying to identify what the noise could be.

"I want you and Officer Penhall to come down to the Harely Davidson garage on 5th" Crane continued, "I want you to arrange for access to my bank accounts and a car to the airport. Once I'm on the plane I have my men release your zip head friend."

"That's it? You want to flee the country" Tom said almost laughing. "The authorities will be over you like a swarm of locusts. But hey, if that's what you want just tell me when."

"Tomorrow, 10pm. Oh, and Hanson, if I am followed or I get even a whiff anyone but you and Penhall your friend is dead" he said before breaking the connection.

"You get all that Captain?" Tom asked as he replaced the reciever.

"I think we got enough!"

"Can we get a trace?" Doug asked

"Well, lets see what we can do" Fuller said as he headed back to his office to call it in.

"Is Harry gonna be OK?" Sal asked, eyes fixed on Tom and Doug.

"He is if we have any say in it Sal" Hanson answered. "Don't worry Jude" he continued turning to Hoffs, and looking into her huge dark eyes and remembering how those eyes had looked at him not so long ago. "Harry can handle himself, you know that right?"

"Just get him back safe Hanson All three of you!" she said shifting her gaze from Tom to Doug.

**That's all for now folks. I'll update as soon as I can :0)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Still doesn't belong to me**

Penhall paced around his living room unable to settle. His pacing and constant sighs were begining to get on Hansons already considerably stressed nerves.

"Doug, he's gonna be here ok. Will you stop that, you're starting drive me insane! Anyway you'll wake Clavo."

"I can't stand all this waiting"

"Doug, will you sit down, man, he'll..." Tom was then interupted by someone hammering at Penhall's front door. "See! That's him. Now sit!" he said getting up to answer the door. As he opened it he saw the familiar face of Dennis Booker looking down at him. Same cocky smile and superior air he remembered.

"Hello Dennis" Tom said, half smiling.

"Hair's a big improvement Tommy!"

"What? You don't like prison chic!"

"Nah, never suited you!"

"Good to see you man!" Tom said offering Dennis his hand.

"Hey, Penhall!" Booker called as he walked through to the living room.

"Dennis" Penhall said jumping up with a smile. He had warmed considerably towards Booker since Hanson had been released.

"So did you find anything?" Tom asked as he handed Dennis a beer

"Not much. He has a sister that lives in the city, but that you know about. Plus I don't think she'd be too welcoming considering his goons shot her son. There's not many people with a good word to say about this guy as you can imagine. The only person that came up was this Matt, that guy who was on the ride with you Doug, remember?"

"Yeah! You think he helped organise busting Crane outta jail?"

"Well he's the only one who doesn't seem to have severed all ties with this guy"

"So what have you got on him?" Tom asked.

"Matt Anderton. 34 years old, divorced, no kids. Worked for Crane for 8 years, security division." He said meaningfully, before continuing."He has a flash apartment near the docks. No doubt paid for by his extortionate paychecks from Crane".

"Wait a minute! Security?" Doug said, eyes wide and anger rising. "You think he had some part in framing Tom?"

"I'd bet on it!" Dennis replied before pulling out a handful of computer printouts and throwing them on the table. "Farrell would have been his new boss. I'd bet he was all to eager too impress. I pulled all the files of everyone employed in security. Recognise any of these guys Tommy?"

Tom picked up the pile and began sorting through the numerous faces and facts.

"No." Tom said dejectedly as he thumbed through various Crane employee mugshots. Suddenly his brown eyes widened and lit up as they focused on a familiar face. "I've seen this guy before."

"Where?" Doug asked urgently.

"When he decided to try to make swiss cheese outta me yesterday. This is the guy who shot me and shoved Harry into the car." He answered as he passed the page to Doug.

"Jesus he's huge. Terry Leyton, blah blah blah blah.." Doug continued as he scanned the page. "Hey what does this mean? Special Operations?"

"Let me see." Dennis said as he took the sheet from Dougs grasp, Tom moving to look best he could over Bookers shoulder.

"Special Operations?" Tom said thoughtfully. "I guess that would cover an organised jailbreak."

"Check this out Hanson." Dennis said slamming the paper on Dougs coffee table. "Just did seven months for assault and battery. In Southside Penitentiary."

Tom smiled softly and sadly, " Seven months. Plenty of time for him to reacquaint himself with his boss."

"And he knows all our faces." Doug said, uncharacteristically serious.

"Bingo!" Dennis replied.

"So we know who's behind this. Now what do we do?" Doug asked.

"Find them." Booker said simply.

"You think this Matt guy could be putting Crane up in comfort and luxury at his exclusive dwellings?" Doug offered, his tone bitter.

"I don't think so. Too obvious."

"Maybe he thinks we didn't recognise him. Tom had never seen him before so he must be pretty sure he had no idea who he was."

"I don't know. Maybe." Dennis answered uncertainly.

Tom had been deep in thought as his partners debated how thin this theory was. Breaking his train of thought he said "Nah, he wouldn't be that stupid.", thinking over the possibility that Crane could be hiding out there.

"Yeah, you'd think" Doug answered.

"What else" Tom was begining to get impatient.

"Crane's also got foriegn bank accounts that the good ol' US Government weren't able to appropriate. Adds up to quite a stash."

"I'll bet" Tom said bitterly, thinking of his own now considerably smaller savings, he had thanked god on numerous occaisions that his appartment was paid for. "How do you find all this? We spent hours trailing through department precedures and came up with next to nothing. Can't even look at a building without a warrant, let alone search one. What about the employee records. Anyone in there likely to still be on the payroll?"

"Well there's a couple of guys that I remember from when I was undercover working for the guy that seemed like they were pretty loyal, but they didn't strike me as the type to orchestrate a jail break and armed kidnapping."

"He still own any property he might be using as a hideout?" Doug asked.

"Actually he does. You'll love this Penhall. He owns the flat and shop above Rocket Dog, and an old storage lock up."

"Rocket Dog? Really?" Doug repiled

"Hang on!" Tom said suddenly. "When I was talking to him, there was this noise in the background, at the time I thought it was static, you know, bad connection?" he said, a pronounced scowl distorting his features. "I don't know, could have been a train or a plane maybe."

"What are you thinking?" Doug said studying Hanson's face. After years of friendship and working together Doug had got pretty good at reading Hanson's moods and expressions, well as good as anyone can be with Hanson, and he could see that Tom was beging to piece something together.

"I'm not sure. It couldn't have been a plane, if he was that close to the airport he wouldn't be wanting a ride, he could get onto a plane anytime he wanted." Hanson was thinking out loud to himself rather than talking to those around him. "But he'd have customs and everything looking out for him, so he'd probably not get far!"

"So, you think he's somewhere near the train station?" Doug asked

"Could be. Dennis where is this lock up?" Tom asked looking over at Booker.

"Actually it's near the docks on the same route as the airport." Dennis replied.

"That's too easy! Isn't it?" Tom said his large soft brown eyes looking pleadingly at Doug and Booker.

"Yeah." Dennis answered uncertainly

"Well wherever they are they're not alone" Doug put in. "He had three other armed guys with him remember" he said pointing to Tom's injured arm.

"Yeah well, at least it doesn't hurt as much as getting shot in the ass" Tom said smiling playfully at his friend. Then more seriously,"I can't think. Too hungry."

Doug smiled at this quirk that was so typical of Hanson. "So, pizza?" Doug said, watching his partners eyes clear for the first time that evening.

"You need to ask" Dennis quipped.

"Right I'm on it!" Doug said going over to the phone and pressing speed dial.

"So what do you think really Tommy?" Booker asked

"I think Crane has no intention of letting Harry go, or the rest of us."

"What do you mean?"

"I think we're going to be walking into a trap. Think about it. We walk in at a time and place specified by Crane, who we know has five armed lackeys with him and a serious grudge against all of us. We go in, I don't think we'll come out."

"So what do we do?"

"We find out where he's holding Harry and WE spring the surprise".

"Still trying to save the world hey Hanson!" Booker said with a wry smile.

"No. There's no point." he answered flatly "I just want to help Harry"

"Pizza's on the way!" Doug said, sounding more cheerful at the prospecet of food.

"I can't believe you have that place on speed dial!" Tom said with a smile.

"Hey , I got a kid know. I have to be prepared"

"You've got a kid!" Dennis exclaimed in shocked surprise.

"Long story" Tom said as he let his head fall back to rest on the back of Penhalls old couch. As Doug began explaining how Clavo had ended up living with him, not having slept in days and exhausted from worry, Tom suddenly fell asleep.

"Is he ok?" Dennis asked gesturing towards Tom.

"Yeah, he's not been sleeping well lately, that's all."

"So you got a kid huh?"

As Dennis listened, rapt, to Doug's story of their journey to El Salvador to find Marta, the nightmares returned with a vengence. There had been no nightmares in the past couple of weeks,but that was only because he hadn't really slept. But now, exhusted and unable to keep his eyes open any longer Tom had to face his tormentors once again. However, this time instead of just blackness behind Harry, he could see a construction site in the distance, filled with huge machinery and building materials. Then as once again Doug refused to aknowledge him, he shot out his hand and forced the heavy set figure of his friend to face him. Only as he turned Tom was horrified to see Dougs face was not there! At this he woke up, familar cold sweat and racing pulse.

Doug had been finishing telling Booker his tale when he heard Hanson scream. He watched as he bolted upright, eyes staring wildly and face as white as a ghost. Then he jumped up from his chair and took hold of Hanson's shoulders.

"Tom, wake up man! It's ok. Hey, it's Doug! Tom wake up."

Booker watched puzzled as Tom grabbed at Dougs arm, shaking uncontrolably.

"Hanson?" he asked uncharacteristicaly concerned.

"He's alright, just give him a minute" Doug answered quickly.

"Penhall, what's going on" Booker demanded, watching as Tom's eyes slowly cleared and he studied Doug's face as if he'd never seen him before. This was not the Tom Hanson he had known and resented. Eventhough he would never tell a soul, at that moment watching Tom's distress he realised that part of him would never forgive himself for his part in bringing down this once focused, intelligent and, despite his slight and fragile appearence, strong young man, to this frightened kid infront of him clinging to Penhall for dear life.

"Tom, it's me, calm down" Doug said one last time as Tom decided he was actually really there. "You told me this was over Hanson" Doug said in reproachful yet kind voice.

"It wasn't a train." Tom said enigmatically.

"What?" Booker said drawing Tom's attention.

"The noise when I was talking to Crane. It wasn't a train. He's holding Harry near some kind of construction site." he said, his eyes focused and aware.

"You sure?"

"It could be" Doug said

"Booker. That lock up where was it?"

"It's a small storage building near the docks".

Tom and Doug exchanged meaningful glances as both their eyes lit up.

"That's thin man!" Doug said to his partner

"You can never be too thin Doug" Hanson said with half a smile on his face."They've all kinds of heavy machinery down there, that could have been what I heard".

"What if it's not?" Booker interupted.

"Then we keep looking" Tom replied. "We're not giving up on Harry, right?"

"Right" Doug and Booker said almost in unison.

"So, where exactly is this place?" Tom asked.

"You got a map Doug?"

"Me? Are you kidding, with my sense of direction? Why would I need a map?"

"Doug!" Tom scolded, "We're kinda in a hurry here."

"There's one at the Chapel!", he responded, face lighting up.

"With Fuller" Tom said dejected.

"He may have gone home."

"Fuller? I wouldn't bet on it Dennis"

"Oh, wait" Booker said triumphantly," I have a road map in my glove box! I'll run down, get it and I'll be back in no time." and with this dashed out of the door and down the hall.

"So!" Doug said turning to Tom. " What was that?", his brown eyes, while not as large as Hanson's were no less kind, looking at him with concern

"Don't start!" Hanson said wearily. "Let's just find Harry ok"

"When are you going to stop demanding so much from yourself and so little from us?"

"That's what Judy said"

"Well, the girl's smart. Come on Tom, we're your friends, let us help."

"After we've got Harry" he said deadly serious.

"Ok" Doug replied knowing there was absolutely no point in arguing this time.

"Got it!" came Bookers call as he burst through the door. He brushed away the empty pizza boxes and spread the map out on the table. "This is where it's situated" he said pointing out a small rectanglular shape on the edge of the docks. "It's right near the road. So, you know, good access. Should be pretty easy to suss the place out."

"Are we sure?" Doug asked

"It's not as if we have anything else to go on" Tom offered.

"Look Penhall, if Tommy's right about what he heard there's really nowhere else to look."

"Can you get us a plan of the layout of this place?" Tom asked

"Sure. We might have to stop by my office. My secretary can do anything man, most people are scared to death of her"

"Been meaning to see Bookers place haven't we Doug?" he said surpressing a wry smile.

"Oh, wait!" Doug said a little paniced. "I can't leave Clavo!"

"You wanna call Jude?" Dennis said

"No, she'd want to know why. She'd also be a little curious as to why you're here."

"Hey Elaine, my secretary, can watch him."

"She good with kids?"  
"She's good with everyone Penhall. Doesn't like me much though"

"Hey, I like her already" Tom said

"Nice Tommy!"

Tom gave Booker a sarcastic smile and said "So you gonna show us your digs?"

"Ok. Let's roll"


	11. Chapter 11

**Still don't own it.**

"Quite impressive Dennis" Tom said as Booker led them into his building and led the way to his office in the back. "Landed on your feet I see."

"You could almost be a suit" Penhall quipped.

"Wow, top floor, office all the way at the back with a lovely view of the...garbage cans outside" Tom said as he glanced out the window.

"Yeah, thanks guys."

Hanson and Penhall both turned their most charming smiles in his direction before exchanging amused glances, Dennis both smiling and a little jealous at the bond they seemed to share, one that had lasted through so much.

"This way Laurel and Hardy" he joked, and was instantly forced to regret this jibe as Penhall began his obligatory Stan Laurel impression, followed by Hanson's also obligatory why me expression as they followed him through the door. Booker had called Elaine before leaving Doug's appartment and she was there to greet them as they entered the small office.

"Dennis!" she called as they walked in "I've managed to pull those plans you wanted, now you want to tell me what you're upto"

"Elaine these are my old partners I was telling you about. This is Doug Penhall"

"Hey!" Doug said as she offered him her hand.

"And this is Tom Hanson"

"Hi" she said and stopped in her tracks as she noticed the young officer stood before her. "Now why has Dennis been hiding you from me?"

Tom gave her a shy and uncomfortble smile as she continued to study him.

"This is why" Dennis said leading her gently away.

"And who's this adorable little guy" she said as she noticed the little boy hiding sleepily behind Doug.

"Oh yeah. I meant to tell you. This is Doug's nephew Clavo. We kinda need you to watch him for a while"

"He's no trouble really" Doug quickly added.

"No problem. Can't be any worse than watching Dennis."

"Yeah, we've been there" Tom said mockingly.

"So which of you went to jail" she asked abruptly, instantly regretting it as she saw Tom's shoulders stiffen.

"I'm the ex-con" he said, holding his hand up and trying to brush off the uncomfortable situation.

"Sorry" she said

"Don't worry about it"

"So Elaine" Dennis interupted "These plans you got me. Where are they?"

"On your desk" she said, a touch of irritation in her voice. Then she softened as she turned to Clavo. "Come on honey, you look sleepy, we'll find you somewhere you can have a nap". She took his hand to lead him away towards an old couch against the back wall of Bookers office. "It was nice to meet you Tom" she said smiling brightly at him as she walked away.

"Christ Hanson, I can't take you anywhere" Penhall said as both he and Booker looked at Tom grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" Tom answered genuinely puzzled as to the source of their amusement.

"Come on" Booker said still grinning as he made his way to his desk.

"What?" Hanson asked again a little impatiently.

"Never mind Tom" Doug said as he put his arm around his friends shoulders and guided him after Booker.

The three young officers croweded round Bookers desk studying the plan of the unit. Booker began pointing out the layout.

"It looks like an old style lockup. Big main work area with a small office space in the back. Can you see there's two main ways to gain access? The large main door to the front and and a small door leading out from the smaller room."

Tom stood, looking at Dennis impressed with how quickly he was able to get information for them without the usual red tape you had to cut through when dealing with the department.

"So, P.I business pay well?" he asked with a wry smile.

"It's not bad. You looking for a change in career Tommy?"

"After tonight I may not have a choice." he said shrugging his shoulders, then getting back to the business at hand. "It would make sense for them to be holed up in the back. Smaller space, more secluded, less area to cover. We corner him in there, we got him."

"You think we should get Fuller in on this? Doug put in. "It seems a little too convienient."

"No" Tom said quickly. "We tell Fuller, they send a whole riot unit in after him. Crane will panic and Harry will be the one he takes it out on. Anyway, sometimes convienient works"

"Tom's right" Booker said "The fewer that go in after him the better. I'm telling you Hanson, it'll work. We pull this off, Crane will never see the outside of a cell again for as long as he lives."

"So you in?" Hanson said looking at his two companions from his place perched on Bookers desk.

"You know it" Booker said, eyes shining.

"Let's do it" Penhall added, looking soberly straight into his partner's eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm still just borrowing them!**

**I appologise in advance, but I'm having difficulties with Cranes character. Also much out of character angst and overly sentimental slush be on the horizon. Ye be warned!**

They wasted no time in heading for Bookers car and in no time at all were speeding on their way to Harry's aid. Unfortunately obilivious to the car that was parked across the street watching them.

"Their on the move. I'm heading after them!" came the voice from the driver as he spoke into the phone.

"Keep me posted" came the reply from the other end as the car pulled out and headed after the three officers.

Soon after they were headed for the docks. Tom was shifting around restlessly in the backseat.

"I'm always in the back, when do I get to ride up front?"

"When you're grown up!" Doug replied. This was met by disgruntled mumbling and something about one day being big enough to kick Dougs ass.

"Hey, that car's following us!" Doug said suddenly. Booker peered in the review mirror at the car behind.

"Nah. Can't be!" he said

"No, Doug's right, it is" came Tom's voice from the back seat. "Pull over Dennis."

"What!"

"Trust me. Pull over."

"What's going on Hanson?"

"Right there" he said pointing to a grass verge by the side of the road.

Dennis pulled the car over as they watched the car behind follow. Hanson quietly and slowly slipped out of the car.

"Get down and be quiet" he told his partners. He crouched by the side of the road as he watched the old green car come to a stop. As the figure stepped out of the car Tom walked quitely up behind.

"What are you doing Detective?" he said softly. Judy Hoffs jumped up ten feet in the air at the sound of the familiar voice.

"Hanson! You scared me to death!"

"You're following us! Why?"

"You know where Crane's got Harry don't you?" she asked her brown eyes staring pleading into Tom's.

"What gave you that idea?" he said evasively

Judy let out a small bark of laughter. "Like I can't tell when you and Pennhall are up to something! Why didn't you tell me?"

"We couldn't risk it getting back to Fuller. Look Jude, the more people that go in after Crane the more desperate he's going to be. It'd just put Harry in more danger."

"If it was Doug what would you do if I kept something like this from you?"

"Yeah ok, point taken" he said with a smile. "Get in the car Jude, we'll fill you in."

Having put thier guard down after finding Hoffs the car behind still followed easily without being noticed.

"This it?" Doug asked as Booker brought the car to a stop. "Doesn't look much."

"This is gonna be cake!" Tom said checking his gun. "Judy, you stay here. Give us twenty minutes then call Fuller for back up. That should give us enough time to get Harry out and get Crane."

"You must be joking Hanson! There's no way on earth you're leaving me behind." she said, a stubborn look on her face.

"Judy, please! Just go with me on this one ok." he said softly. "After you call Fuller, come in after us." She rolled her eyes in submission as the three men stepped out of the car.

They made their way slowly over to the wall of the storage unit. There was a small window midway up, which Doug peered through to see if he could get any idea of how many were inside. He let out a sudden gasp, which made Tom and Booker anxious.

"What is it?" Tom asked

"I can see Harry"

"Where?"

"He's in the corner, cuffed to a pipe. How imaginative!"

"Anyone else?" Booker asked

"Only Crane"

They all jumped and hid in the shadows as they heard voices coming round the corner. Peering from the darkness they saw Matt and the man who had done all the shooting come round the side of the building and get into an old car. As they drove away the three men gave a sigh of relief.

"So where are the other three?" Tom said.

"We've gotta move, they might not be gone long" Booker replied.

"Right. Dennis, go round the front, block his exits, and if you see anyone, get out, fast. Doug, come with me, we're going to get Harry." Tom said with a steely determination in his soft voice.

"Hey, if this goes wrong..." Doug began.

"It's not going to go wrong." Tom reasured him. "We'll get Harry and were gone. OK."

"You know Fuller is going to be pissed!"

"Yep!" Tom said "We can deal with him later" he said smirking. "Besides, he never actually told us to stay away did he?"

"You know Tommy," Booker began,a sly smile on his face, "Just for the record, I never really hated you."

"That's a lie" Tom replied, still smiling, "But thanks anyway. Ok we ready?"

"Let's do it!" Booker said as he got to his feet and disappeared around the front of the building. He made his way quietly through the large main door of the unit and positioned himself just outside the office door listening for Hanson and Penhall's signal.

"You coming partner?" Doug said his eyes sparkling at the prospect of once again working with his partner and best friend. Tom gave a slight nod of his head as they moved slowly through the shadows towards the door that would lead them to where Crane and Harry's voices could be heard.

"How far do you think you're going to get before you're picked up?" Harry was saying sounding tired yet perfectly calm.

"You'll be surprised at how much loyalty money can buy. Atfer your buddies have helped me get access to my accounts, my little helpers will arrange my flights away from this cesspool, I'll have my fun with you and your partners and then I'll be gone before anyone even finds you"

"You really think they're that stupid?"

"People do stupid things when people they care about are in danger. Your buddy Hanson already proved that. He made himself such an easy frame up! This time, when they get here, my men will be waiting. You can watch them die and then you can join them. Maybe I'll tell them to leave Hanson till last, it might be fun make him watch you all suffer first, I haven't decided. Either way it's going to be long night, but don't worry, you'll have company soon."

Tom and Doug stood outside listening to this exchange, flitting between anger and amusement.

"Shall we just shut this asshole up?" Tom said a mock bored expression on his face.

"My thoughts exactly" Doug replied. They both cocked their guns and took positions on each side of the door. As they prepared to break the door down Doug looked over at Tom and flashed the widest grin Tom had ever seen.

"Hey Tom? he said still grinning.

"What?"

"I've missed this"

Tom grinned back as he said "Yeah, me too". Both men extended their hands and came together in the legendary McQuaid's handshake.

"Heh!" they both said in unison.

"Ready?" Hanson said

"Yep!'

"OK. NOW!" Tom cried as they burst through the door. At the same moment hearing Tom's shout Booker burst through the door leading from the main floor to the smaller room.

Crane and Harry's heads snapped round as they entered, both looking shocked, although Harry's shock was mixed with obvious relief at seeing his partners.

"You people never learn" Tom said as he moved towards Crane,aiming his gun.

"Never tell anyone your plans untill the very end" Doug added.

"Have you never watched James Bond movies." Booker continued. Just then the three missing thugs from the breakout entred the room, each carrying a very large gun. A twisted grin appeared on Cranes face.

"I guess he has Dennis!" Tom said maintaning his nonchalant attitude. The next thing he knew was a headsplitting pain and white lights dancing before his eyes as something extremly heavy hit him across the back of his head, before darkness fell around him.

Doug spun round to see his partner hit the floor hard. Matt and Terry had returned to join the other two and had begun attacking from behind, Terry having suceeded in making short work of putting Hanson out of the picture. Penhall lunged for the nearest man forcing him off his feet and aiming several vicious kicks to his stomach. He felt hands grab him to drag him away. His let fly with his fists and his feet but the two men were overpowering him. The last thing he knew was struggling to breathe as a colth covered in a foul smelling substance was forced over his nose and mouth as he sank to the floor beside Tom.

Booker had faired no better. Before seeing Doug overpowered he had desperately tried to get to Harry. He was stopped in his tracks by the remaining two as Crane watched on from the corner of the room, a smug smile on his face. His gun had been thrown from his grasp and ended up lying on the hard concrete floor not far from where Tom and Dougs guns lay useless. "Damn, I could use Penhall right about know" he thought to himself as he shrugged his shoulders and launched himself into the fray. Unfortunately, with Tom and Doug outcold on the floor, Cranes five stooges were free to focus all their attention on Dennis. He put up the best resistance he could, his fists, feet and head launching themselves in every possible direction. He actually managed to cause some damage before a seering pain tore through his arm, leaving it flapping uselessly by his side after a particularly painfull blow from what appeared to be a large crowbar. This was followed by the aforementioned crowbar being wrapped around his head as he followed his companions into darkness.


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own them, but it's fun playing puppet master!**

Judy sat outside in Bookers car, nervously watching the building, willing for some sign that her friends were all ok. She looked at the clock. They had only been gone 10 minutes. How was that possible. Tom had said to give them twenty minutes, but something about the silence surrounding the building made her extremely uneasy. Making up her mind she reached under the dashboard for Bookers phone and dialed the Chapel.

"Fuller" came the voice of her captain.

"Captain, we have a situation"

"What is it Hoffs?"

"Hanson and Penhall found Crane."

"Where?" he said urgently.

"The docks. It's an old storgage unit near the main street. They went in with Booker about ten minutes ago".

"Booker! What's he doing with them?"

"Doug and Hanson felt going through proceedure wasn't nearly fast enough"

Fuller smiled to himself, proud of his boys but feeling anxious,"Keep an eye on them Jude, and don't do anything until I get there."

"Hurry Captain, I've got a bad feeling about this. It all seems too easy."

"I'll be there, sit tight!" he said reasurringly before hanging up. She remained sat watching the building, her nerves becoming more stretched by the second. Then a noise from the back of the unit made her jump from her seat. Her heart sank and pulse raced as she watched seven men walking out the building, three large men carrying the still, inert forms of Tom Hanson, Doug Penhall and Dennis Booker slung over their shoulders across the empty lot to a van parked nearby, the one carrying Doug struggling under his considerable weight. Her head snapped to attention as she heard the familiar sound of Harry Ioki's voice dritfing across through the darkness, as he was led to the van at gunpoint demanding to know where they were being taken and that someone attend to the free flowing wound on the back of Hanson's head.

Imediately she reached once agian for Bookers mobile to inform Fuller of what was going down.

"I'm following them Captain."

"Don't let them out of your sight , keep me posted as to where they're headed and I'll follow with back up".

"Already there Captain." she said starting the engine, making sure the headlights were off.

"Oh and Judy, don't do anything until I get there. Understand"

"Sure thing Captain" she replied knowing full well she had no intention of just sitting back when her partners were in trouble.

When Tom came to he found himself in a small room surrounded by familiar figures. Doug was laying close by, a gash across his forehead and his hands bound behind his back. He showed distinct signs of having put up a fight. "Good old Doug" Tom thought as he noticed the handfull of hair still clutched in Penhall fingers. Dennis was huddled unconcious at the far end of the room. He too had his hands bound, infront this time, as their assailants obviously didn't see him as being as much of a threat as the larger Doug Penhall. Harry was sitting in the corner, his dark eyes looking over the other men in the room in turn. As he saw Tom's eyes were open he gave him a warm smile that seemed to say, "Gald you've come to join the fun" all animosity forgotten at their relief on seeing each other, so far reletively unharmed. Looking around it took Tom seconds to realise they had been moved. His eyes roamed the dark room, it was roughly the size of a shoe box he thought to himself as he looked around. The room was dusty, comlpetely bare and the only light came from a tiny window situated in the skylight of their makeshift cell, casting a pale wan light on the faces he saw.

"How you doing Iokage?" Tom said grinning, then grimmacing as he felt the pain in his head, curtousey of the same crowbar that did Booker. He put his hand to the back of his skull only to feel the sticky matted state of his blood soaked hair.

"Better now I've got company. You couldn't stand me having all the fun could you, Hanson? Maybe next time you could think up a better rescue, cos, you know I've had better." Harry answered with a half smile.

Tom answered this with his most charming smile. "Where are we?" he said his hand still pressed against the rising lump on his skull.

"I don't know. Couldn't see much from the back of a dark van." he said raising an eyebrow. Ignoring his sarcasm Tom made his way over to where his partner lay unconcious. Trying to stand he found the world spinning before his eyes and neausea rising in his stomach, so decided it would be better to crawl.

"Doug?" he said softly as he gently rolled his partner over. He moaned as Hanson got him on his side, the effects of the chloroform begining to wear off. "You ok man?"

"What happened?"

"Well you know I said nothing was gonna go wrong?"

"Yeah!"

"I lied!" he said, unable to stop a smile spreading over his face as his relief at hearing his friends voices overcame any anxiety for the moment. He began undoing Dougs restraints as Harry did the same for Booker.

"Tom, you look awful" Doug said looking into his pale face as he helped him to his feet, and examined the wide open wound on the back of his head.

"I'll be ok in a minute" he answered, still struggling to stand straight while keeping the neausea down. "How's Booker doing Harry?"

"He looks in bad shape guys!" Harry replied, concern evident in his heavily accented voice. They had noticed years ago that Harry Ioki sounded very vietnemeese when stressed. They often made jokes about this over the years but at the moment it didn't seem so funny.

"What happened?" Tom asked as he looked over at Dennis, reassured by his regular deep breathing.

"After they hit you over the head me and Booker tried to overpower them. Didn't work obviously!" Doug said as he lowered Tom to the foor so he could lean his back against the wall.

"Obviously" Tom said rolling his eyes.

"Old Dennis isn't much better than you in a fist fight"

"Hey!" Tom replied indignantly "They jumped me from behind!"

"Why do people always stick me in these damn tiny rooms with no windows" Doug said trying to keep up the good humored banter while the familiar feelings of the walls closing around him and the panic began rising. Tom, seeing the look in his partners eyes put his hands on both of Doug's shaky shoulders.

"How you doing?"

"I gotta get outta here Tom."

"It's ok. Look at me!" he said trying to draw Doug's attention. "Just talk to me man, try not to think about it."

"Some heroic resuce huh?". Tom smiled weakly at Doug's attempt to make light of the situation. "That really doesn't look too good." Doug said gently turning Tom's head slightly so he could see the deep gash in the back.

"Don't worry about me. Head wounds always look worse than they are." Tom replied, secretly relieved that Doug had focused his attention to something other than his phobia. "You don't look too good either." he finished pointing out the cut on Dougs forehead.

"Hey at least I was facing the guy.". Doug's smile vanished as he looked at Tom with distressed eyes. "I can't breathe" he said.

"Just take slow deep breaths."Tom told him, then as he saw Doug's eyes moving over the room he once again grabbed the larger mans shoulders. "Hey, look at me not over there. OK?"

They heard a moan from the corner of the room where Harry sat with Booker, who was begining to come round. He had a split lip, bloody nose and Harry would bet a years wages that his left eye would shortly turn from that lovely shade of red to purple.

"What's happening over there Harry?" Tom shouted,still maintaining eye contact with his paniced friend.

"He's starting to come to."

Hanson looked directly into Dougs eyes and said calmly but firmly, "I'm going over there to check on Dennis, I'll be back in a minute. Just keep taking deep breaths" then with a sly smile and a touch of mischief sparkling in his chocolate eyes said "Hey, try singing, it'll make you feel better and, who knows, within seconds Crane will probably throw you out himself."

Doug smiled weakly at him and nodded his head, still breathing so heavily it sounded to Tom like he was well on his way to hyperventilating. Hason slowly made his way over to Harry and Booker, his still throbbing head and the constantly moving floor slowing his progress, as well as the dry retching that was threatening with nearly every step. When he eventually made it to Harry's little corner of the room, he let himself fall heavily to the ground beside Booker and examined his injuries. Dennis' nose was a bloody mess but it didn't appear to be broken, the same couldn't be said for his left arm which was bent at an extremely awkward and unnatural angle. What concerned him further was the football sized lump that had formed on his forehead and the swelling around his left eye, he wouldn't even be able to open it if it got any bigger.

"Harry, I need you to deal with Booker. Doug's starting to lose it and I can't keep him calm and be over here at the same time."

"I can cope. Stop trying to do everything Tom, go see to Doug." Harry said kindly

"Hanson?" Dennis said suddenly

"Yep. Were all here?"

"What hit me?"

"A brick wall, pal!" he answered lightly."Here, put that to his nose, try to stop the bleeding." Tom said handing Harry the rag he had been using to keep his long bangs away from his eyes. "Sorry I don't have any ice Book" he said patting his shoulder. Then he said quietly to Harry "Keep him talking, that's a nasty bump, he may have concusion" before returning to Doug.

"How's he doing?" Penhall asked, his voice still shaking.

"He'll live."

"How the hell did he know we were coming?"

"I have no idea. But we'll have plenty of time to think about that once we're outta here." he said, his eyes scanning the dark room for any possible exit. "I can hardly see a thing. Hey Dennis you got a light?"

"Funny time to take up smoking Tommy!" came Bookers groggy reply.

"Listen, you got one or not?"

"Yeah, in my pocket."

"Harry! Can you get it?"

"Yeah, hang on." There was the sound of shuffling and groaning from Booker as Harry tried to manouver him without knocking his broken arm. Then came a frustrated curse from Harry.

"What's going on Iokage?" Tom yelled begining to get more impatient as Doug was becoming more distressed.

"I'm going as fast as I can". What little light had been pouring in the room had now disappeared as the moon was swallowed by clouds and none of them could see anything beyond their own noses.

"Tom? Where are you?" Came Dougs shaky voice through the darkness.

"Right here, man." he replied searching for his friend in the darkness to reasure him, finally finding him and putting an arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry, we'll be outta here soon." Just as Harry was finally able to wrestle the lighter from the pocket of Bookers jeans and get it lit the door to the small room was opened and bright light streamed into the room searing their eyes.

"Oh I wouldn't make any plans just yet gentlemen" Raymond Crane sneered as he stood in the doorway with his lackeys. "I have such a fun evening in store!"


	14. Chapter 14

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

Judy Hoffs had followed the van to the large compound an hour outside the city and then abandoned Bookers car before creeping through the gate in the vans shadow. She had switched the radio off half an hour ago despite Fullers angry warnings. Worried as she was Tom and Doug had been right. If they sent the entire police force after Crane he would panic and he would take it out on her unfortunate friends. She still couldn't work out what had happened, she hadn't seen those men enter the building after Hanson and Penhall had forced their way in. She just hoped Fuller could find his way there from her last known position.

The building looked forbidding. It was a huge stone edifice surrounded by high steel fences topped with razor wire, there was nowhere obvious she could find cover. Crane had taken the mostly unconcious forms of her partners in through a door in the back of the building but there was so many windows she had no idea which of the many rooms he was holding them. But she had to do something. Staying as flat to the walls as possible she made her way around the building, trying to find any way she could possibly force entry.

"What am I doing?" she thought to herself. Even if she did find her way in there was six armed men in there and they could be anywhere. No matter how many times she told herself this she still couldn't bring herself to just sit and wait. Her friends were in there and they needed her.

After she made her way round one corner she saw a window high up on one of the walls. To her disbelief it was open, and in her desperation to get in and help the others it never crossed her mind that this was just too easy. Smiling to herself, she began to cimb.

"Give it up Crane" Harry said from the corner as Doug moved protectively towards his partners. "They'll go easier on you if you cooperate."

"Harry, don't lie to him man." Tom said, mock sympathy in his voice. "

Doug helped Harry to his feet. "You ok man?" he asked him. Harry nodded as he stood up, dark eyes fixed on Crane and Hanson.

"They're gonna string you up. You had two cops killed, kidnaped and held another at gunpoint. There's no judge on earth gonna go easy on you." Tom said calmly in a voice full of bored sarcasm.

"They'll have to find me first." he said, obviously trying to sound menacing, all this earned him however was Hanson's beaming smile and Doug Penhalls wild bark of laughter.

"He sounds like a bad movie!" Doug said, trying his best to regain his composure.

"Nah, I'd say more amature dramatics". Harry added. Crane simply stood in the doorway smiling softly at them.

"You starting in real estate again?" Tom said mockingly signalling their surroundings, "Cos this dosen't seem such a good investment"

"It's a fixerupper" Crane answered.

"Apparently so!"

"So what, you just gonna keep us in here?" Dennis asked, he was standing upright leaning unsteadiliy on Harry.

"That would spoil the surprise!" Crane said still smiling. He walked over to where Tom was leaning against the wall, as he did so Doug moved instinctivley closer to his best friend in a protective gesture. "And I've being so looking forward to seeing you again Officer."

Tom smiled sweetly back at him. "Sorry, I can't say the same.",

"You've made this all to easy. Poor predictable Officer Hanson, rushing to the rescue before thinking things through. You think I'm so stupid I wouldn't think you'd be able to trace that call? You think I had no idea you'd be able to get hold of land deeds and employee records? You disappoint me. I know the police departments a little slow but I didn't think you were so trusting. Didn't think to check if anyone else was following did you?" Tom stared back at him blankly inwardly cursing himself for being so careless in his desperation to get to Harry.

"By the way, where is Miss Hoffs?"

Harry started and threw a desperate, pleading, and somewhat shocked glance towards Hanson. When Tom offered no reply Crane just smiled coldly.

"Not to worry, we'll find her. Terry!" Crane called to one of the large men standing in the doorway, "Show Officer Hanson to his room"

"I get my own room?" Tom said in his best excited kiddies voice.

"Get him out of my sight!" Crane barked looking Tom up and down in disgust. The giant referred to as Terry grabbed Toms arms and forced them roughly behind his back jarring the gunshot wound in his shoulder and drawing fresh blood. Doug stepped forward, the instinct to protect his smaller partner so ingrained by now it was automatic, but he was held back by one of Cranes other goons. Tom did his best not to aknowledge the sharp pain shooting through his shoulder, and flashed Crane his most insolent smile and quipped "I like him! Where'd you pull him?"

"Old cell mate!" Crane replied.

" You could do alot worse".

"I can't tell you how much I am going to enjoy beating that smile off your face!" Crane spat "Have fun!" he said to the giant as they passed. Tom just winked suggestivly at him as he was marched out of the room.

"TOM?"

"It's ok Doug. Look after them."

Doug turned blazing eyes on Crane. "Where are you taking him?" he spat.

"Oh not far. In fact, you'll be able to hear him just fine from where you're going."

"Touch him and I'll kill everyone of you!" he said with venom.

Two men came up behind Doug, and although he fought, kicked and punched in retaliation they eventually overpowered him and with his hands bound tightly behind him, they led him from the room under the frightened and concerned eyes of Harry and Dennis. Before leaving Crane turned to the two remaining young men and smiled pleasantly and said "Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about you two." and followed the others from the room before closing the door and locking them in behind him.

"Weren't there five of them?"

"Yeah."

"What do you think he's gonna do?" Harry asked looking at Booker with wide eyes.

"I don't know. We've gotta get outta here Ioki."

"It's ok. Jude would have seen us. She'll radio Fuller and help will be on it's way. How's the head?"

"Still there. You ok?"

"I will be".


	15. Chapter 15

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

Tom was thrown roughly against the wall of the small room causing another wave of dizziness in his already aching and throbbing head. Fighting back neausea he looked up striaght into the eyes of his assailant, his face defiant and blank. He landed a punishing blows to Tom's midsection causing him to double over, and as he did so Crane walked over and grabbed a handful of Tom's hair forcing him to look him in the eyes.

"You've been nothing but a continuous thorn in my side Thomas. Well I'll just have to teach you to stay out of my business."

"I seem to remember that you actually dragged me into your business." Tom said defiantly.

"You were investigating my gang war. That's what got you into this my friend. But you're a slow learner." he said.

"I always was!" Hanson said, a small smile on his face.

"I'm getting bored of your mouth!" Crane said as he slamed Tom's head hard against the stone wall behind him, causing a blinding white flash infront of his eyes. He slid down on to the floor, his back leaning against the wall. Crane bent down, grabbed his hair and forced his head up to look at him. With a malicious glint in his eye he stared into Tom's dazed but angry eyes and said slowly, as if he was relishing every word, "Like father, like son. Daddy was a slow learner too you know Tommy!"

Tom's eyes suddenly cleared and grew so wide they almost filled his entire face, a mixture of fury and disbelief twisting his features.

"I was pleasantly surprised to discover who you were. Made it all the more enjoyable setting you up." he chuckled seeing the look on the young man's face. "Given you something to think about have I? Oh well, at least it will pass the time."

"How did you know my father?" Tom said through gritted teeth.

"Oh we went way back! He stuck his nose in where it wasn't wanted too, must run in the family. So you know what I did?" He knelt down in front of Tom and leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "I. Had. Him. Killed."

Hanson stared in disbelief, all pretence at bravado gone now. "It was an accident. Wrong place, wrong time" he said, his voice sounding small and weak even in his own ears.

"Of course it was!" Crane said patting Tom's cheek. At this Hanson suddenly snapped.

"You bastard! You fucking liar!I'll fucking kill you!" Tom's angry, hurt cries could be heard throughout the building as he tried to lock his hands around Crane's neck. However Terry easily removed Tom's slight figure from his boss and threw him against the wall once again before aiming several hard vicious kicks towards Tom's ribs, one of which resulted in a sickening cracking sound he was sure was one of them giving way. With all the wind knocked out of him, literally and figuratively, Tom curled up on the floor, his head swimming with pyshical and emotional agony.

"See you later Tommy" he said smiling as he locked the door behind him.

Tom forced his aching body into an upright position so he was sitting leaning his throbbing overloaded head against the wall. His head was swimming as he tried to let this new information sink in. He hugged his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, something he did often as a child whenever he was scared. He kept thinking to himself "It can't be true. It was an accident. They always told me it was an accident!"

He was dragged back from his thoughts when he heard the familiar voice of his best friend ringing out at a deafening volume.

Doug was struggling against his escort as they tried to force him into the tiny room across from his partner. He had heard Tom's wild shouting and was demanding to know what was going on.

"If you've hurt him in any way I'll make you wish you'd never been born!" he said glaring at them.

"Pretty big talk for someone who's scared of a little room" the taller of the two said as they resumed trying to lock him in.

Despite his considerable strengh the two bigger men were able to overpower him and shut him inside.

"Let me out!" he screamed "You can't keep me in here!" he yelled as he threw all his weight against the door in the vain hope it would somehow burst open. Once the footsteps of the two retreating men had died away, he heard, muffled but unmistakeble, the sound of a familiar voice calling his name.

Unable to cope with hearing Dougs distress, Tom picked himself up, regained his composure and called out as best he could.

"Doug! Doug, can you hear me?"

"Tom?" he replied, voice thick with panic.

"Yeah! Are you doing ok?"

"Oh god, Tom, you've gotta get me outta here!"

"Come on man, hold it together."

"I can't. There's not even room to walk in here!"

"DOUG!" Tom's cry brought him back like a hard slap. "Don't think about it. Talk to me, man, keep your mind off things, yeah?". He tried to keep his voice level and calm, but he was finding every breath difficult because of a sharp pain in his abdomen and the impact of the emotional blow he had recieved. With nothing to concentrate on other than his partners voice, Doug picked up on this.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah. Not exactly the Ritz is it?" Tom quipped. Doug knew his partner well enough after all these years to be able to see the slight crooked smile on his face as he said this. He also knew that Hanson was doing his best to try and keep his mind occupied and he silently thanked him for it.

"Quality Inn maybe" Doug replied, trying to return the banter. "What do you think the foods like?"

Tom laughed, it sounded eerie to his ears in the empty room, but strangely it made him feel better. "I'm not planning on sticking around to find out Douglas!". Eventhough he couldn't see him, hearing his partner's voice was a great comfort, strange as he was supposed to be helping keep Doug calm.

"You! You'll be screaming for scraps within minutes!"

"Not this time man! Anyway, I had breakfast at Rocket Dog!"

"Oh! So that's why you sound like you're about to be sick?"

"Nah! That's the smell in this place!"

"Sure it's not you?"

"Very mature Penhall!" Doug gave a nervous chuckle after which followed a thoughtfull silence. Both men looked around their respective prisons, trying to assess the situation. Tom had just decided that there was no way he was just going to walk out when Doug broke the silence.

"Hey, Tom?"

"Yeah?" he replied his voice distant and thoughtful

"What do you think he wants from us?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out soon enough!"

"Maybe I don't wanna find out" Doug said so quietly Tom had to strain to hear him through the wall.

"I'll think of something, man. How you doing over there?"

"Might be doing better if I could see who I was talking to. At least I can see out."

"Be thankful it's not got bars over it!" Tom said, trying to be flippant. As soon as he said this however they both blanched and went quiet. Tom had been trying so hard not to think of how much this room reminded him of a prison cell. "Well done Hanson. You blew it", he thought to himself.

It was then that Doug started to piece together part of the game Crane was playing. He was using their fears against them. He was in a shoebox of a room, in the dark with nothing but a square inch hole for light. Harry was being held at gunpoint, and Hanson, well he was practically being forced to live his worst nightmare all over again, and he had made sure that they could all hear each others panic, unable to do anything about it. No doubt about it, the man had done his homework.

"Hey!" Doug said, trying to sound nonchalant, "You're meant to be keeping ME calm!" He heard Tom chuckle quietly. "Really Tom, are you alright?"

"Would it help if I wasn't!" he said joking. "Cos if my pain would give you something else to think about man..."

"Tommy!"

"Don't ..." Hanson began

"...CALL ME TOMMY!" they both finished in unison.

"Why not? I never actually asked you that."

"Cos I'm not twelve anymore!"

"Really! That's it! Cos, you know I've seen twelve year olds bigger than you!

"Really? Wow!"

"Tom, it's getting hard to breathe in here man!"

"Don't think about it. Do something to keep you occupied. Hey, sing with me man!"

"What?"

"I don't know, anything. _Tommy used to work on the docks. Unions been on strike he's down on his luck it's tough, so tough! _Come on Penhall!"

"_Gina works the diner all day, working for her man she brings home her pay for love"_

Their voices filtered through the building bringing small smiles to the faces of Harry and Dennis

_"She say's we gotta hold on to what we've got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not we've got each other and thats a lot for love."_

"Hey Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"You're no Jon Bon Jovi you know!"

"Yeah I know it! _We'll give it a shot!"_

Hanson was abruptly cut short by a mocking voice outside the door of his cell as the key turned in the lock.

"Hey, room service!" Tom called out with a insolent grin on his face.

"Sorry to interupt your little sing along boys, but I was getting lonely" Crane said as he, Terry and another guy, who Tom thought looked like a huge oak tree, stepped through the door.

"No need to appologise" he said still flashing his insolent smile, "I'm not actually that good."

"Bring him!" Crane barked as he turned to leave. The huge giant they had brought in with them forced Tom's hands roughly behind his back and tied them much too tightly together, all but cutting off his circulation and sending another wave of pain through his injured shoulder, before marching him out of the room behind Crane.

"Where are you taking him!" Doug bellowed as he watched the scene through the small hole in the door.

"It's ok Doug" came Tom's soft voice through the door, "Keep singing" he said calmly.

"Tom?"

_"We'll give it a shot! Whoa we're half way there. Whoa, livin' on a prayer. _Come on man" he shouted, his voice getting muffled as they led him away

_"Take my hand and we'll make it I swear. Whoa, livin on a prayer"._

_**Sorry, I was listening to Bon Jovi when writing this and I couldn't resist!**_


	16. Chapter 16

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

Harry and Booker were sat in the corner of the room they had all shared on first arriving here, "Wherever here is" Harry thought to himself. He had helped Booker into a sitting position to keep him from falling asleep. His eye was now completely swollen shut and his arm was most definately broken. They had been joking and smiling to each other while listening to Tom and Doug's none to tuneful rendition. However, Harry had grown concerned after Hanson's softer but no less tone deaf voice had ceased and only Doug's shakey scared tones carried through the rooms.

"It's getting quiet" Dennis said groggily.

"I think Hanson got bored" Harry said keeping his concerns to himself. As he said this the door opened and a bound and severely pissed looking Tom Hanson was shoved through the doorway, landing none to gracefuly on his backside.

"Tom?" Harry said rushing forward, noticing the renewed blood flowing from his shoulder and his ragged breathing.

"Stay right where you are" Crane said pointing a gun at Harry and Dennis.

"What do you want?" Tom spat, no longer feeling like goading him.

"We're going to play a little game Thomas. One of these two" he said gesturing with the gun, "is going to go free. The other I'm going to kill, and guess what Tommy boy? You get to decide which one". The look of hatred and fear on Tom's face brought a smile to Cranes.

"You want me to tell you which of my friends you can kill!" he said in disbelief.

"Well, if you can't decide between these two, I'll just go and kill your pal Douggie back there."

"I won't do it!" Tom said fixing Cranes cold eyes with his wide chocolate ones.

"You're no fun Tom! It's only fair. You got them into this, you can be their way out!" Crane said smiling. "Ok, how about the gook?" he said pointing the gun at Harry

"NO!" Tom screamed

"Ok, the Fonzie wannabe then.

"You bastard" Tom yelled lauching himself at Crane. With his hands bound the best he could manage was to headbut and kick Crane as hard as he could. However, he was able to get very few of these in before Terry and his large friend grabbed him and lifted him away as if he was nothing more than a childs doll.

"That was stupid Officer Hanson" Crane said and signaled to his lackey's, who then proceed to throw Tom to the floor and simultainiously kick and beat his helpless prone form. They aimed savage kicks and blows with both fists and the butts of thier weapons. Tom felt all the air knocked out of him as the blows connected causing more damage to his already fragile and bruised midsection. Harry flinched as he heard the stomach churning sound of his friends ribs cracking. Hanson tried to fend off the blows as best he could, but he was begining to hurt in places he didn't know existed and pain became his entire world. He knew he was in trouble, the stabbing pain in his abdomen could only mean one thing, but he was damned if he was gonna let Crane see his panic and his partners needed him. Harry launched himself forward to try and help Tom, but he only suceeded in drawing Cranes attention, who then turned his gun on him. Harry heard Tom's agonised cry as they continued to kick his damaged torso and then proceeded to slam the back of his head on the floor reopening the semi healed wound and sending white light flashing through his vision before forcing him up by his hair.

"I had hoped you would make it this much fun!" Crane said as he stood looking down at the small, fragile looking officer.

"I'm gonna rip your throat out" Tom spat between gasping breaths.

"You're threatening me?" he said with disgust.

"Harry, what's going on?"Dennis asked, panic in his voice.

"Hanson's in trouble!"

"What do we do?"

"I don't know, Cranes got a gun and two pretty huge guys doing his dirty work for him".

"Hey, Crane!" Booker called out "Try going against someone your own size!" Crane just looked over at Dennis and the state he was in and laughed before turning his attention back to Tom.

"Before I'm done with you," he said, "You'll wish they'd have given you the death sentence for Towers murder." Hanson gave a loud cry as Crane pushed his thumb into the now freely bleeding bullet wound in his shoulder. Between the pain in his ribs, chest and head as well as the throbbing hole in his shoulder, Tom's head and vision swam and he was unable to even put two thoughts together. He tried to look over at Harry to make sure he was still ok, but everything was blured and spining, a recently opened gash in his forehead leaking blood into his eyes. The two holding him released their vicelike grip and he collapsed to the floor, every inch of his body in agony. Ignoring the gun still pointed at him, Harry rushed to his friends aid.

"Tom?" he said putting his arm behind his friend to support his head. Tom simply looked at him with dazed eyes. He managed to form a weak smile with his bloody, split lips. "We'll get you out of here, I promise." Harry said returning the smile.

"We're all walking outta here" Tom replied thickly.

"Ok, that's enough!" Crane said reaching down and yanking Harry into a standing position, causing Tom's battered skull to once again hit the hard concrete floor.

"You're gonna kill him!" Dennis shouted from the corner.

"Oh eventually, but I want to play with little Tommy a bit longer. Joe get him out of here!" Crane said to the giant gesturing to the figure curled up on the floor. Tom was hoisted up over his shoulder and carried from the room as Harry and Booker watched fearing for their friend's health.

"Haven't you done enough to us already? I'll kill you!" Harry screamed as Crane headed to the door. He lauched himself after him but was met by hard wood as Crane shut and bolted the door after him.

"We've gotta get Tommy outta here!" Dennis said.

"We can't help him until we find a way out ourselves" Harry said kicking the door in frustration and anger. "Where are Fuller and Judy?"

Judy had made short work of getting through the window. Being extremely slight in build she had easily wriggeld her way through the gap. As she landed on solid ground inside a dimly lit coridor she had been met by the sound of two cats being strangled. She smiled as she recognised the tone deaf voices she had heard many times during long hours at work. With a small stiffeled chuckle she began following in the direction they were coming from, relived by the fact that they were at least in good enough shape to torture their captors. This was short lived however, as she was hit by Dougs angry and frightened shouts. They were taking Tom somewhere. She swallowed her panic, checked her gun and made her way down the hall.

Doug was on the verge of loosing it when he heard the door to his cell open. He got up to launch an attack on whoever walked in, but he was stopped in his tracks as the bloody beaten form of Tom Hanson was unceremoniously dumped on the floor infront of him.

"Company for you!" Joe laughed as turned to relock the door. Doug instantly went to his partners side.

"My choice now Thomas!" Crane said through the locked door before walking away.

"No" Tom said weakly.

"Tom? Are you ok? Jesus what did they do?" he said lifting his head and resting it on his lap. He examined the various cuts and brusies on his arms and face, and the nasty injuries on his head. His dark hair was matted with blood and sweat. "Tom, talk to me man, you've gotta stay awake!"

"Hard to breathe!" was the only reply. He lifted Tom's jacket and t-shirt away and gasped as he saw the mess of black and purple bruises developing on his midsection. As he gently investigated the damage Tom winced and tried to move away.

"Shit!" Doug said under his breath as he realised some of his ribs, if not all of them, could be broken. Doug took his jacket off and placed it underneath Tom's head so he could check his injuries more thoroughly. As he did so Hanson suddenly convulsed in a horrendous coughing fit. Doug placed his hands firmly but gently on his shoulders to keep him from moving too much as the fit passed. To his distress however he noticed drops of blood around Tom's mouth as he lay back exhuasted. He needed to get him out of here and to a hospital, but as he looked round there was no way he could see of getting out.

"Don't worry buddy." he said to reasure himself as much as his injured partner, "I'll have you out of here in no time, you'll see. You'll be eating gormet hospital food before you know it. Bet you're looking forward to that huh?" No reply came. "Tom? Hey Hanson?" Doug felt panic rising in his chest as he looked down at the still form in front of him. To his relief he could make out Tom's shallow breathing, although every breath seemed to be more effort than the last. He had passed out unnoticed as Doug talked. Doug took his bloody hand and held it tight so he could feel the reasuring warmth, proof Tom was still here. He must have somehow fallen asleep like that, back resting against the wall, still clutching Tom's hand, cos next thing he knew, someone was squeezing his hand. When he opened his eyes Tom's were looking up at him, glazed and filled with pain, but aware, that was something at least.

"Hey! Welcome back, How you feeling?"

"Like...a truck...hit me." came his strangled reply.

"Not quite a truck!" Doug said trying to smile

"Hurts"

"I know Tom. Lay still, take it easy."

"Harry and Booker..."

"Don't worry about them just now. I'm guessing they're in better shape than you anyway."

"Doug.", came Tom's breathless voice

"Shh man, don't talk if it's too painful".

"Penhall!" he said more urgently, trying desperately to tell his partner something.

"What is it?"

"Took his gun"

"What?" Doug said leaning closer to hear what he said.

"While they carried me in here I... took his gun" he said smiling slightly as he tried to reach into his jacket.

"Tommy, I love you!" Doug said as he reached in and picked it out for him.

"Hey,... not... in public!" Hanson said gasping.

"Sorry" Doug said laughing.

"Doug?"

"Yeah?"

"When they come back, you'll have to... use the gun. Get them to take us to Harry and Booker and... then waste em!"

"Against three of them?"

"He's going to kill one of them Doug." he said, breaths comming in painful shallow gasps. "They won't all come at once." Then suddenly his eyes widened and he tried to move. "Doug you'll have to, I can't use it." he said, his wide brown eyes pleading. Doug winced inside as he watched Tom try to sit up.

"Hey, stay still. What is it."

"I can hear someone coming! Help me up." Doug pulled Tom's arm gently around his neck, and placed a supportive arm around his slight waist as he slowly pulled him up. Once on his feet Tom leaned heavily on his partner, his head still spinning and every bone in his body crying out in pain. This is how Joe found them when he opened the door. Before he knew what was happening Doug had pulled the trigger and the giant of a man was in agony on the floor with a bullet in each leg. Doug helped Tom out of the room and down the corridor as gently and slowly as he could, but every step brought new agonies. When they were half way along Doug stopped and lowered Tom to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Tom asked urgently

"You need to rest!"

"We need to get to Harry and Dennis."

"We will after you rest a minute."

"What if they don't have a minute?" Tom said fixing Doug with his steady gaze. Doug knew he was right, but he was in no state to be running to the rescue, and Terry and Crane were around the building somewhere. "What's taking Fuller and Judy so long?" he thought to himself. He was snapped back from his thoughts by the sound of gunfire and screaming from the direction of the larger room they had all shared at first. With no time left to think he reached down and pulled Tom gently but firmly to his feet, once again supporting his stumbling partner as they slowly made their way down the hall.

**I'm kind of on a roll at the moment. May have another chapter up tomorrow :0)**


	17. Chapter 17

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

Terry was twisting Bookers broken arm behind his back and forcing him to his feet, sending dizzying pain through his body and causing a wave of neausea that he struggled to control. Unable to hold it back any longer, he let out a wail of agony.

Crane held out his gun to Harry, as Joe held his gun on him.

"Take it!" Crane said coldly.

"No way!" Harry said disgusted as his dark eyes glared into Cranes.

"If Tommy doesn't want to play, you're going to have to take his place." he said, a twisted grin forming on his lips. Then he said softly "Look, all you have to do is pull the trigger, put our friend Dennis here out of his misery and then I'll let you go."

"Just like that?" Harry said flatly. "And what about Penhall and Hanson? You gonna let them just walk away?" Crane simply shrugged and smiled.

"I haven't decided. They're quite amusing and I like having them around. Actually I may let them watch!" he said his cold eyes showing a spark of enjoyment. "Joe go and fetch Officer Penhall. Oh and if little Tommy's still coherent bring him aswell, I'm sure his friend will help you carry him."

Dennis just stood fighting back his pain and looking intently at Harry. He knew Harry would never pull the trigger on him, and at this point he was more concerned for Harry than himself. He just wished he knew what game Crane was playing.

"You bastard!" Harry yelled as he launched himself at Crane.

Judy hid in the shadows listening to the voices coming from the next room. She had no idea what shape her partners were in and she was desperate to get to them. She saw the large figure leave the room and head down the hallways. She qucikly debated with herself weather she should follow him to where they were holding Doug and Hanson or if she should help Harry and Booker. Deciding that the pair with the guns pointed at them were in the most imediate danger she cocked her gun and burst through the door.

Harry sat once again restrained by handcuffs as he had tried to take Cranes gun, unable to move more than a few inches away from the wall.

"Leave him alone or I swear to god once I get out of this I'll make you wish you'd never been born!" Harry threatened, earning a scornful laugh for his efforts.

"Crane said I could have some fun with you two and that's exactly what I'm gonna do." he said twisting Dennis mangled arm further up his back. As Dennis let out another yell Judy Hoffs burst into the room. Firing a warning shot at Terry she shouted "You put him down or I will blow a hole straight through you!"

Harry and Dennis looked on in amazement at the sight of the young black woman pointing her gun at their tormentor. "How you doing boys?" she asked.

"All the better for seeing you!" Dennis said as he peered at her through his swollen eyes.

Their relief was short lived however as while she was busy checking on her partners Terry came up behind her and snatched away the gun.

"Oh good, the gangs all here!" Crane said with a twisted grin on his face as he watched Judy struggle against the vicelike grip that held her. "Now the fun can really begin".

"Don't you go anywhere near her!" Harry yelled at the top of his voice.

"You're not in the position to be giving out orders Officer Ioki. Besides, I'd like to get to know Miss Hoffs a little better." he said smiling at her. "Go check on the other two. Our little visitor may have made other stops along the way" he ordered his remaining stooge. "Make yourself at home Miss Hoffs" he said as he forced her down into the corner beside Harry.

Hanson and Penhall continued making slow progress down the hallway towards their partners, worried out of their minds after hearing the gunfire. As they rounded the corner they heard footsteps coming towards them. Tom's eyes widened as he saw the imposing figure of Terry heading towards them. He freed himself from Dougs grasp and stood almost steady at his partners side. The large man launched himself at Penhall as he aimed the gun at him and managed to wrestle it from Doug's clutches and tossed it, before turning his own gun on him. With the larger officer subdued Terry made the same mistake many had made before him. He turned his full attention on Penhall, thinking that the smaller fragile looking Hanson presented no danger. That is until said officer had him in a vice like sleeper hold cutting off all his air and one hand holding a gun in his back.

"Let him up now!" Tom said, his voice as steady and threatening as his tortured breathing would allow. He dropped the gun and began to rise to his feet as Hanson released his hold on him.

"Now, you're gonna give me those keys, turn around and walk right into that room back there, ok" Tom said, still keeping the gun on him. He and Doug followed behind the heavy built man as he headed towards where they had been locked in not so long ago. Once he was in Doug took the keys from Tom and slammed and locked the door, leaving him in there with a still wailing Joe.

"Two down!" Doug said smiling as he cocked the gun he had taken from Terry. The smile vansihed however as he saw Tom's face twisted in pain and heard the wheezing sound of his breathing. "Hey, man, how you holding up?".

Tom straightened up with visiable effort before flashing a brief weak smile. "Holding up fine" he said shakily as Doug once again offered him support and they headed back through the hallway.

Crane was holding a gun to Judy's head and forcing her to her feet. As he did a gunshot went off behind him, a loud voice said "Get your damn hands off her!" and his head snapped round to see Doug Penhall and Tom Hanson stood in the doorway. Doug was holding a smoking gun and Tom stood defiantly beside him.

"What the hell!" Crane began, "Terry! Joe!"

"Oh they can't help you" Tom said softly as he tossed his gun to Harry and took hold of the gun Crane had in his hand. "Now do as he says and let the lady go. You're finished. It's over!"

"It's never going to be over until I settle a few scores" Crane replied.

At hearing this a faint smile appeared on Hanson's face. "So we're back to revenge huh? Well if that's the game here we can all play. Let me think, you try to kill and kidnap my friends, hold them at gunpoint, ruin their careers" he said gesturing towards Ioki and Booker. "Anything else? Oh yeah, and send me to jail for the rest of my life for a murder you are responsible for. Do I win? Or would you say we're about even?" Every word he said hurt and he was begining to find it increasingly difficult to breathe. The sound of sirens echoed around the building.

"It's Fuller. About time." Judy said as she turned and ran to get her comanding officer and lead him to the small group gathered inside.

She made her way desperately through the narrow corridors to the large heavy door at the front of the building. Breathing a sigh of relief she pushed the door open only to be met by glaring flashing lights and the sound of any number of automatic wepons being readied. She threw her hands in the air in panic, which was quickly relieved at the sound of the familiar authoritative voice.

"Hold your fire!" Fuller called, " She's one of my officers." Judy watched as Captains Fuller and Briody dashed towards her.

"Captain, they've got him!"

"Are they ok?"

"I don't know. Doug and Harry look OK, but Hanson and Booker are in bad shape."

"Ok, lead the way." he said, as he began to head towards the entrance.

"Adam!" Briody called, stopping him in his tracks. "Didn't you say Officer Hoffs told you they're were six armed men in that building!"

"I've only seen Crane and two others Captain. He sent them to get Hanson and Penhall, but i think they must have delt with them or they wouldn't have been able to get to Crane!"

"That's my guy's!" Fuller said with a smile. "Ok Jude, lead the way carefully!"

Judy headed back into the building followed quickly by Fuller, Briody staying behind to command the unit they had gathered to provide back up.

"You took everything from me. I lost it all!" Crane said looking stonily at the fragile looking young police officer pointing the gun at him.

Tom's usually soft, calm brown eyes blazed with an anger and hatred Doug had never thought possible.

"What about what you took from me? You took my life man! And for what? A fucking football stadium. I should shoot you dead right now."

Doug, Harry and Booker moved in closer to back up Hanson, each aiming a gun at Crane.

"You hurt people. You're a bully and a muderer. You brought this all down on your own head, thinking you were above the law, that you could anything to anyone and get away with it! I was innocent. I could have spent the rest of my life in prison. In my head I'm still there! Everynight I relive it. The beatings and the threats. The fear. I want you to live with that fear everday of your miserable fucking life!" His eyes were growing wider as his previouosly calm and reasoning voice became more shrill and the anger that had been building up for so long came pouring out, between his ragged breaths.

"So, if you're into revenge, how do you sugest I get mine?" Tom asked, once more regaining his composure. "How do I show you what it's like to be truly afraid?"

He moved closer to Crane, looking up into his face, he brought his gun up and held it beneath Crane's chin. Although more than a head shorter than Crane, Hanson appeared strangely frightening at that moment, his hand totally steady and his usually warm eyes stoney and cold.

Harry, Doug and Booker looked on in shocked silence as it slowly dawned on them what Tom meant to do.

"Tom, please put the gun down and let us take him back."

"Where's the fun in that? Don't get boring on me now Penhall!" he said. Then with a shrug of his shoulders he said, "Ok I'll make it quick."

He aimed and fired a shot inches away from the left side of Raymond Cranes head.

"Scared yet?" he asked. Crane nodded, sweat begining to run down from his temples.

"Do you really believe I'm capable of killing you?" Tom asked, his voice still soft and calm, despite the sweat pouring from him and the pale sallow sheen on his face.

"I don't know" Crane replied

"Not good enough" Tom said and fired another shot, just narrowly avoiding blowing Cranes head clear off, giving a rueful smile as he watched Crane flinch. Then he turned to his partners.

"Told you we were wasting our time. See what our prison system does?" he said spreading his arms wide. "Think of all the shit I pulled before. Hey, Harry? What do you think I'm capable of now huh?" a cold, eerie and emotionless smile spreading across his face. Harry instantly felt sick remembering his outburst in the chapel.

"Tom I'm sorry! Come on, Fullers outside let just go, ok?" Harry pleaded

Doug's mind flashed back to a conversation he had had with Tom almost two years ago.

_"What if we scare them so bad, they don't have anything left to be afraid of?"_, he heard himself say. He thought of Hanson's recent distance and cold disinterest and at that moment feared for his best friend.

"HANSON!" came Fullers voice as he and Hoffs burst through the door.

"Hey Coach, you're late. Still the more the merrier" Hanson said smiling at his captian.

"Don't do it Tom!" Fuller continued, "There's a whole team out there waiting to take him into custody. Come on, we'll get him back where he belongs and we'll get you help."

Tom chuckled bitterly. "You think this is a cry for help?" he said turning to Fuller, whilst still holding his gun on Crane, his other arm curled protectively over his sore and broken ribs. "Nah, I know what I'm doing" He focused his attention back on Crane, putting the gun to Cranes temple. "You think I won't pull the trigger? Don't I seem unbalanced enough? Maybe you should ask yourself how screwed up I am." he said calmly, with that eerie smile playing on his lips.

"Tom!" Harry said, bringing himself out of his stunned state. "If you shoot him, you'll go back to prison. For good this time. You don't want that."

"How do you know? Why are people always telling me what I want and how to feel? Always putting me in situations I don't want to be in" his face remained still but his unaturally wide brown eyes showed a small glimmer of hurt. "Why didn't you just leave me there?" he said turning to Doug and Booker. "Did you think everything would just go back to how it was?"

Then catching movement out of the corner of his eye he noticed Crane trying to inch away. Tom turned his attention full on him.

"Don't even think about it man. I'd have a bullet through your head before you took another step, man i swear! You know it only takes 3.3 seconds to shoot someone? Doesn't sound much does it? I bet it seems like an eternity when there's a bullet drilling a hole through your skull."

"Penhall!" Fuller yelled, gesturing towrds Hanson, knowing Doug was probably the only one in the room with any hope of getting through. Hanson desperately needed medical attention. The rattling laboured sounds of his breathing and almost white colour of his face was causing him tremendous concern. Penhall moved towards his friend.

"Tom give me the gun please".

"Get away" he said looking at Doug with eyes that showed no glimmer of recognition.

"You don't really want this do you?"

"The hell I do. Stay back where you are."

"It's too easy man! You kill him and that's it. He won't suffer for what he's done. That's what he deserves and you need a doctor. Come on Tom, me ,Judy and Harry need you with us, please."

"This piece of shit had my father murdered!"

"What?" Fuller scoffed, looking at Crane with disbelief. "That's the game you're playing is it?" Crane just stood, eyes focused on the young man in front of him holding the gun.

"Tom, that's bullshit!" Doug said. "It was an accident. How was anyone to know where your dad was gonna be that night? Think about it man! Anyone who knows your name can find out what happened to your dad, it's no secret. He's playing mind games with you Tom, don't let him win!"

Ignoring Doug, he turned back to Crane and he let his anger fly.

"You took my future you bastard. You might as well have killed me. So tell me why I shouldn't return the favour right here and now!"

Judy, Harry , Booker and Fuller stared in horror as the realisation of the extent of Hanson's pain hit them like a sledgehammer.

"GIVE ME A FUCKING REASON!" Tom screamed only pure adreniline keeping him from collapsing in a heap as a result of his injuries. His voice echoed throughout the entire building. His eyes were bulging and the hand holding the gun was shaking uncontrolably. He watched Crane's pale face, sweat coating his forehead and his eyes filled with terror. Then Tom turned to look at his commanding officer. Fuller looked back at him with disbelief on his face. The look on his face finally bringing Tom back to himself.

"You want a reason?" Tom said when Crane didn't reply. "Because there's been too much blood spilt and too many lives ruined because of you. You're not worth it" he said lowering his gun. "He's all yours Coach." he said turning to Fuller. "There's two more back there, end of the hall last door on the left. One might need an ambulance."

Fuller stepped forward to take hold of Crane as Tom turned away, pain coursed through his battered, bruised body, steps unsteady. Doug stepped forward to take his friends arm to support him. "It's OK Doug." Tom said waving his friend away and putting distance between himself and the others.

"Told you it was my choice now Tommy" Crane said suddenly.

Then the air was split by Judy's scream. "HARRY!" she yelled as Crane pulled a gun from his jacket and fired a shot at Ioki. Before Harry could register what was happening the full wieght of Tom Hanson smashed into him and pulled him to the floor. The gunshots echoed around the room.

As they hit the floor Tom felt several searing arrows of pain shoot through him and everything around him seemed distorted and dim. With a grimace distorting his features Hanson pulled his own gun and fired a shot into the top of Raymond Cranes leg as he tried to make his escape in the confusion he had created. His face pale and twsited Tom made his way over to Crane and snapped handcuffs on his wrists. Fuller stepped over to take Crane into custody. He exchanged a meaningful glance at his young officer and Tom offered him a wan smile in return.

As Fuller lead Crane into the waiting squad car, Doug watched as all colour drained from Tom's face and he began to sway unsteadily on his feet. He rushed forward and put a supporting arm around Hanson's waist as he colapsed against him. He saw Tom's face twisted with pain and noticed the slick, tacky feel of his brown leather jacket beneath his hand. Looking down, Doug saw his hand was covered in blood. Fighting back his fear he lowered Hanson gently to the floor.

"Doug, what's wrong?" Harry said, his voice shaking. Dennis and Judy looked on anxiously as Penhall pulled back Tom's jacket to see the freely flowing bullet wounds in his lower torso.

"Still doesn't hurt as much as being shot in the ass!" Tom said trying to smile. "This is a bit more serious though isn' t it?" he said as blood came trickling from one corner of his mouth.

"You'll be ok Tom. We''ll get you to a hospital and they'll take care of you. Stay with me Tom. Hey, look at me man"he said trying to keep Hanson concious.

"I'm cold." he said his face blank "Doug, I'm sorry." Tom said before his eyelids fluttered closed and he retreated into blackness.

"Tom? Tommy?" Doug pleaded, panic rising, cradling his injured friend in his arms "Someone wanna get an ambulance! Hang in there partner, you're gonna be just fine" Doug said softly rocking back and forth.

Judy moved first, flying out of the door after Fuller stopping the patrol car in it's tracks.

"Captain, it's Hanson. He's hurt really bad."

"Radio for an ambulance" he said to the driver who responded imedeately. Fuller then laid a well placed right hook on Crane, drawing blood from a now broken nose.

"If my boy dies, I will make it my lifes work to make sure you never see the light of another day!"

When the ambulance arrived soon after Doug was desperately trying to stem the bloodflow from Tom's wounds. The bullets had gone straight through. Harry stared in horror as Penhall used anything he could find to use as a compress, pressing down so hard on Tom's slight frame that Harry was worried that he would crack all Hansons remaining ribs. Not that it really matters now, he was thinking. Judy had her arms around him and was switching between crying out of fear for Hanson and asking over and over for reassurance that Harry was ok. He felt numb as the paramedics lifted Tom onto the stretcher, listening to Dougs pleas to be allowed to go in the ambulance with him. All the while his dark eyes were fixed on Hanson, watching the the shallow rise and fall of his chest as he struggled to breathe.

"Judy! Harry!" Booker called as he approached them, his arm in a make shift sling supplied by one of the paramedics. "Come on, I've got a unit to drive us to the hospital."

"Thanks" Judy said moving to lead Harry after Booker.

"Come on, Penhalls waiting. He's pretty desperate to get there."

"I'm not going." Harry said coldly, "I can't see him like that. I can't sit there and wait for him to die."

"Tommy's tough, he'll be fine" Booker said.

"Booker, come on!" Doug shouted from by the door.

"I gotta go. If you're coming, better make it now!" Dennis said. With one last desperate look at Harry, Judy followed Penhall and Booker to the car.


	18. Chapter 18

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

_**Ok folks, I had a hard time writing these chapters, and all the medical stuff is probably way off, but hey, I never claimed to be a doctor ;0)**_

When Fuller arrived at the hospital, Penhall, Hoffs and Booker were in the waiting room. Judy was wringing her hands and twisting her hair around her fingers in turn, while Dennis paced restlessly around the room wishing he had a cigarette, his injured arm now secure in a cast. Doug sat quietly staring at the bloody brown leather jacket in his hands.

"Any news?" Fuller asked

"No, not yet" Dennis answered grateful for the distraction. "He's been in there for just over an hour so it might be a while yet.

"He looked bad didn't he?" Hoffs said, almost too softly to hear. "Through the whole thing he looked bad."

"I didn't know Hanson was even capable of raising his voice" Booker said, a slight attempt at humor. Then more seriously "What's been going on guys? I never thought I'd see him like that"

"I did once" Judy said, "After Amy was killed. He totaly lost control. It was awful, but it was still Hanson. This was scary, he was so angry, so full of hate, and so calm aswell. That look in his eyes! It was like Hanson wasn't there anymore."

"He looked at me like I was dirt" Doug said suddenly as he twisted Tom's jacket in his hands. His face was so full of hurt it nearly broke Fullers heart.

"Don't think too much on it Doug. He had alot of steam to let off. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to carry that much hurt alone for so long."

"What if he doesn't make it?" Judy said.

"What if he does!"

"What are you saying Booker?" Fuller asked

"He's not right. How could you all have missed it?"

This comment was met with stoney looks from Doug and Judy, who had been asking themselves that same question.

"He was right though" Doug began, "We were so stupid, thinking we could get him out of that place and everything would just be ok."

"We'll deal with that when he wakes up" Fuller said, not wanting to raise their hopes but unable to even contemplate the alternative. "Let's just concentrate on him pulling through."

The hours slowly slipped by. Judy slept fitfully while Dennis, after calling Elaine to see if she could keep Clavo with her for the time being, kept bringing everyone endless cups of coffee, just to keep busy. Fuller left them to tell Mrs Hanson what had happened. Doug sat staring at the door willing a doctor to walk through with news.

The three young officers waited in silence until they were rejoined by Fuller, accompanied by a very anxious and distraught Margaret Hanson. Fuller and Judy tried to comfort her. She had lost her husband to the police force and now faced with the prospect of losing her only child she wasn't coping too well.

News eventually came as one of the surgeons entered the waiting room.

"How is he?" Doug asked as they all crowded round.

"Are you all family?" he asked.

"Yes" replied Judy, "This is Tom's mother" she said placing a supportive arm around Mrs Hanson.

"I'm afraid Officer Hanson slipped into a coma en route to the hospital. When a body suffers trauma and blood loss of this magnetude it goes into shock, shuts down all but the basic functions required to survive...". He continued to talk, but his words were lost on the group surrounding him. They had heard it all before over a year ago, only then it had been Harry lying there. Now it was Tom's turn, and they were all lost in their private grief wondering if this time fate would be so kind.

"Mrs Hanson, your son has suffered major internal bleeding. The blood from his abdonminal wounds were flooding his lungs and acid from his stomach was leaking into his blood stream."

Mrs Hanson gasped, and all the colour vanished from her face.

"We were able to drain the fluid from his lungs and stop the bleeding and leaking from the wound in his stomach, but he has sustained serious internal damage. The bullets went straight through,however his kidneys are badly bruised, and five of his ribs are broken, three of which have perferated his right lung. We've put him on a respirator to assist his breathing and we're monitoring his kidney functions. Also we've had to give him a blood transfusion, get rid of all the poison from the stomach acid. We've done all we can at this point. The rest is up to him."

"Is he going to be ok, Doctor?" Fuller asked, giving voice to all their fears.

"It's too early to tell." he replied

"He's strong. He'll pull through" Doug said defiantly, all the while going over the list of injuries and wondering how the hell he could have continued standing.

"Can I see him?" Mrs Hanson asked tearfully.

"Not just yet I'm afraid. The doctors in ICU are still working on him. It could be a while yet. When you do see him, don't be alarmed, everything is there to look after him." he said to Margaret kindly. "You should all go home and get some rest, he's in good hands"

After alot of persuasion Mrs Hanson agreed to home with Judy. Doug had refused to leave and promised to call her as soon as there was anymore news. Fuller and Booker went in search of Harry, leaving Doug to pace the hallways alone.

Harry did his best to ignore the insecant banging on his door, but Fuller and Booker weren't taking no for an answer.

"How's Tom?" Harry asked as they stepped through the door.

"He's in bad shape Harry" Fuller said kindly.

Harry nodded his head and said "I'm resigning from the force"

"You're what!" Booker burst out.

"Dennis!" Fuller barked, hushing the younger man. "You've been through a tough ordeal Harry, don't make any rash desicions".

"It's not a rash desicion Captian. I've been thinking about it for a while. Last night just made up my mind. I'm tired of risking my life. I almost died because I allowed myself to be put in dangerous situations. Now one of my best friends is dying because of it. I'm done!"

"Harry, it wasn't your fault, and Tom's not dead yet!"

"If I had been concentrating on the job instead of trying to hurt him, Tom would be here right now."

"Harry..." Fuller began

"I'm done with it"

"Are you sure Harry?"

"Im sure Captain"

"Will you come to the hospital to see Tommy?" Dennis snapped

"I can't"

"Fine" Booker said turning towards the door.

"Think about it Harry, please." Fuller said as he followed Booker out the door. As he watched them go Harry ran his hands roughly through his long black hair as stinging tears came flowing freely form his tired eyes.

Doug was woken early the next day by Judy standing over him.

"Haven't you been home yet Penhall?"

"No. I can't" he said. Then as he noticed the reproachful look on Judy's face he said "I'm alright. These chairs are surprisinginly comfy." and offered her a tired smile. "How's Mrs Hanson?"

"At home. Fuller and Clavo were looking after her. Clavo got a bit too much for her I think so he's at your place with Booker, little guy seems to have taken a liking to him. I promised her we'd call if there was any chance of seeing him today. She' s not coping and this isn't the best place for her. This isn't the best place for you either."

"Tom needs us." he said simply.

"I know you don't want to hear this Doug, but the only people he needs right now are the doctors. There's nothing you can do. Look at the state of you. Go home, see Clavo, get some proper rest and a shower". It wasn't until she said this that he noticed that he was still wearing the clothes he had been wearing last night and that they were covered in Tom's blood, and he should take care of Calvo. So reluctantly he agreed and left for home trusting Judy to watch over Hanson.

Clavo rushed at him as soon as he walked through the door and threw his arms round his waist. Doug picked him up with a tired smile.

"Hey four footer! You been causing Dennis loadsa trouble I hope."

"Nah, he's a great kid" Dennis said, "so, whats happening?"

"Nothing. Still no change."

"He'll pull through. Listen, do you want me to stay?"

"No, it's ok, I should get some rest."

"Well if you change your mind..."

"Thanks"

"Well, I'll see ya buddy" Booker said smiling at Clavo.

"Adios Dennis"

"Thanks for watching him man" Doug said as Dennis walked towards the door.

"No problem. At least it was something I could do."

After getting Judy's call a couple of hours later, Doug bundled Clavo into his truck and headed back to the hospital. As he walked into the waiting room he was met by Hoffs, Booker and Sal who were all sat waiting impatiently.

"What's going on?" Doug asked

"The doctors say we can see him. Only a few at a time, obviously" Jude said smiling faintly.

"His mom and Fuller are in at the moment but she said to send you and Judy in when you got here" Booker said.

The nurse led them down a brightly lit corridor to small private room halfway down.

"Remember, don't be too alarmed" the nurse said kindly as she showed them in.

As they stepped through the door they smiled in greeting to Mrs Hanson and their comanding officer and then looked in distress at the sight of their friend, Judy stiffled a sob as a flood of memories came rushing in. The room was filled with the sounds of beeping and whirring machinery and the wheezing sound of the respirator that were helping to keep Tom alive. They could hardly make out their friend underneath the heavy bedclothes and wires from the various machines. blood transfusion and IV. His delecate features hidden behind the mask of the respirator. Margaret was talking quietly to him and stroking his long shaggy hair away from his forehead.

"Hi guys." Margaret said as they stood beside the bed opposite her. "Hey Tommy, look who's here, it's Doug and Judy."

Judy moved closer to the bed and took hold of Tom's hand. "Hey, Hanson" she began, "I know Fuller said you'd better really be ill to phone in sick, but this is taking it a bit far"

"All you had to do for some time off Tom, was ask." Fuller said trying to sound cheerful.

"Talk to him Doug" Mrs Hanson said, "The doctors say it's good for him to hear familiar voices."

Doug gave her an uncertain look. When Harry had been in the hospital he had known just what to say. It had been natural, like talking to Harry as he had always done. This was different. It was like being in a room with a stranger. Underneath everything, it looked like the same guy, but everything that made him Tom seemed to have disappeared. Looking at him, all he could see was the afwull bloody wounds he had discovered when he had pulled back his jacket.

"Hey Tom" he said finally. "Sorry I haven't been here, but Detecetive Jude confined me to barracks for the day. Anyway, probably a good thing huh? Waking up to my ugly mug would be enough to give a guy a heatattack" Then he pulled out a homemade card and put it by the side of the bed. "Clavo made this for you. He's outside wanting to see you". He looked across at Judy and said "Harry's real sorry he's not here. Doctors orders." Judy's eyes met Dougs and she saw the pain radiating from them. She knew how close Doug and Tom had become over the years and knew all too well what they had been through together. Sure, you couldn't find two more different people if you tried, and they often drove each other to distraction. But beneath it all they had a rock solid and caring freindship. If one of them hurt the other bled for him, and if one was happy the other would laugh along too. These two shared a strong bond that noone was able to get between. Judy sometimes envied them thier friendship, but seeing the hurt and worry in Dougs eyes as he watched his desperatly ill friend she didn't begrudge them a second of it. She was suddenly angry at Harry for not being here to help her support Doug in the absence of his best friend.

"This isn't right" Judy said desicively. "He should be here. We should all be together." Then with a look of steely determination she said "And I'm going to make sure of it. I'll see you later Hanson" she said as she bent down to kiss his forhead. "I'll be back soon" she said to the others and she dashed from the room.

"Hoffs!" Fuller shouted after her.

"Come on open your eyes" Mrs Hanson said tears begining to fill her tired eyes. Fuller walked over and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She turned her tear streaked face to him and said, "Parent's shouldn't have to bury their children."

"Hey" he said kneeling down and looking into her face, "Tom's much tougher than he looks. Takes after his mother. He'll pull through."

As he said this he met Doug's gaze and they both turned their eyes to Tom, knowing they're were no guarantees. As he looked at Tom, Doug had another flash of the blood pooling beneath Hanson as he had tried to stop the bleeding, and thought "You'd better Tommy" as he watched Fuller turn his attention back to Mrs Hanson.


	19. Chapter 19

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

"Harry, let me in!" came Judy's voice through the thick wooden door. He let out a heavy sigh as he got up to answer. The look on Jude's face as their eyes met told him she was ready to let fly.

"What do you want Jude?" he asked in his most surly manner.

"We haven't seen you in days Harry. I was worried."

"Did Fuller not mention I quit" he snapped

"He mentioned you were thinking about it."

"There's nothing to think about. I'm done." he said softly.

"You turned in your badge?"

"Not yet"

"Why? If you want out why do you still have it?"

"Do you want some coffee Jude?" he said trying to change the subject.

"No. Harry, we missed you. Everyone's worried, wondering where you are." she said with concern.

"Oh, I'm great Jude!" he snapped viciously, "How do you think I am?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"I've just spent two days being held at gunpoint by a madman, so, you know, I'm a little shook up!" he barked at her. Then more softly he said, "I'm sorry, It's been a tough week."

"You're not the only one who's hurting Harry. We all need each other right now. Why are you cutting yourself off?"

"I'm not. I'm just dealing with this the best way I know how."

"You're not dealing Harry, you're hiding. You haven't even asked me how Hanson is!"

Harry suddenly looked extremely guilty and turned his eyes to the floor.

"How is he?"

"Hanging in there. Just. He still hasn't regained consiousness and he's got a machine breathing for him Harry!" she said trying to get through to him.

"Is he going to make it?"

"The doctors can't say. They've done everything they can, it's up to him now."

Harry nodded. "I'm going back to Vietnam" he said suddenly.

"When?" she asked tears begining to mist her large dark eyes.

"Couple of days"

"Were you going to tell us, or just go and leave us wondering?"

"I don't know."

"God, Harry, were you even going to go see Hanson before you went?"

"I can't"

"He's always been there for you. He went to jail for trying to get you justice. A few days ago he saved your damn life Harry, and you can't even spare the time to go and visit him. Shit Harry, Bookers been there everyday since, and they've never been the best of friends. He might die Harry."

Harry sat down on a chair and let let out a loud sob.

"Oh god, Jude. It's my fault. Tom's dying and it's becuase of me. I threw dirt at him for weeks and now..."

She rushed over to him brushing his hair back and kissing his forehead.

"It's not your fault. You didn't make Crane come after us. None of us knew he had another gun."

"He took a bullet meant for me. It should be me back there, not Tom".

"Harry, he did what any of us would have done. It's just he was closest. Nine times out of ten that bullet would have missed both of you. Please come back with me Harry" she pleaded with him. "If Hanson does die and you leave without seeing him you'll never forgive yourself".

"And if the last memory I have of him is lying dying in a hospital bed I'll never live with myself"

"Please Harry" she begged tearfully. "After everything we've been through this is how you want it?"

"Just go please" he said as he stood to hold open the door. With one last look hurtful look at him, Judy left.

"How's he doing?" Booker asked as he stood in the doorway to Hanson's room with Blowfish, who had hold of Clavo's hand.

"No change. The doctors don't say much." Fuller answered. He was stuggling to be strong for Hanson's mom and his young officers. Doug had never been so glad to see Booker and Blowfish and went over to pick up his little boy. "Hey buddy, I've missed you."

"Tommy esta bien?"

"Not yet pal" Then he turned to Margaret and said, "I'm sorry, Mrs H, this is Dennis Booker."

"Hello" Dennis said offering his hand.

"Doug said you helped get Tommy out of prison"

"Yeah well, he should never have been there in the first place." he said with a faint smile

Mrs Hanson had hold of her son's hand and was stroking it as if by doing this she could rub life into it again. "Please come back honey" she was saying, "Don't leave us again". She had been there for hours and her composure was begining to give way.

"Mrs H?" came Sal's voice, "Why don't we take Clavo outside for some air. Let Tom rest awhile" she looked up at him and allowed him to help her to her feet.

"I won't be far Tom" she said as she kissed her son's cheek before Sal and Clavo led her away.

As they left the room Judy put her head round the door. "Captain, can I talk to you?" Fuller obligingly stepped into the hallway leaving Doug and Booker alone with Tom.

"Captain I'm woried about Harry." she said, clearly agitated. " He says he's leaving for Vietnam in a couple of days and he's refusing to see Hanson."

"That's his choice Judy, and honestly right now I have other things to worry about than Harry's self indulgent pity" he said gesturing towards the door of Hansons room. "I have to put together a case against Crane and in the meantime someone I care deeply about is fighting for his life".

"Do you care for Harry? He's blaming himself Captian."

"We've all tried to get through to him Hoffs. It's his choice what he does now. If I know Harry," he said more kindly, "he'll be here."

"I'm not so sure" Judy replied.

"These machines are driving me nuts!" Doug said through gritted teeth as he slammed his fist into a nearby wall. "I can't stand this waiting and not being able to do anything."

"You've been doing great man, being strong for everyone. But it's just us now, you don't have to be strong for me!"

"If he doesn't pull through I'm gonna kill Crane myself."

"He'll be taken care of!"

Doug let out a shakey breath. "He's my best friend. What would I do without him? You know I keep thinking what we're going to do if doesn't wake up and I feel sick. But then I start wondering what we're going to do if he does wake up. I mean, you saw him, he's a mess up there" Doug said tapping a finger to his head as he spoke. "I want him to wake up, Dennis, more than anything, but there's a small part of me that thinks maybe it's best if he doesn't, and I hate myself for it."

Dennis sat down opposite Doug."Hey, he's going to wake up and he'll work through it. He's a fighter Penhall. It's going to take more than this to stop Tommy"

"All we went through to get him back, it can't all be for nothing right?"

"Right!" Booker replied. "You want me to find Sal, make sure Clavo's ok?"

"Thanks man!"

"No problem. If you need me, you know, I'll be around." Doug gave him a greatful smile. "See you later Tommy" he said as he got up to leave.

Doug sat there watching his friend and listening to the maddening noise from the monitors. He was trying so hard to will Tom's eyes to open that when his eyelids began to twitch he thought it was his imagination, until he realised that Tom's eyes were actually wide open. It was only for a split second but it was unmistakeable. Jumping to his feet he rushed out into the hallway where Sal and Booker were taking care of Margaret and Clavo, and Judy and Fuller were deep in conversation.

"He opened his eyes" he burst out as he came through the door, "Tom's eyes, open" he said struggling to get his words out. A nearby doctor hearing this made his way to Hanson's room. As they all crowded round the doctor shone a light into Tom's eyes. He turned to face them all and said "I'm sorry, he's still not responding."

"But he opened his eyes!" Doug said distressed. "I saw it!"

"This isn't like in the movies. Sometimes coma patients open their eyes. It's a reaction to hearing familiar voices. That's one of the reasons we tell people to talk to them. Stimulates brain activity." Then he saw their dejected and deflated expressions and he said kindly, "Hey, it's still a good a sign." before offering an appologetic smile as he left the room.

"But, he looked right at me" Doug said still unable to process what was happening.

"It's ok Doug." Fuller said, "You heard the doctor, it's a good sign"

"Come on honey, open your eyes please" Mrs Hanson was saying softly to her son as she held his hand.

"I can't believe this is all happening again!" Judy said distressed as she looked into the faces of her companions.


	20. Chapter 20

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

After three weeks of sitting with Mrs Hanson in the hospital, Fuller had ordered Doug Penhall back to work. Being late on his first day back however was not a good start. As he made his way up the steps to the Chapel he found himself thinking of the ribbing Tom would give him for turning up over 45 minutes late. He half expected to hear his partners mocking call as he walked through the door, as if the past few weeks had been nothing but a bad dream. It hadn't of course, and as he entred he was not met by Tom Hanson's voice calling out his sarcastic reprimand. In fact, to Doug the Chapel seemed cold and almost lifeless. As he walked towards his desk, deliberatley avoiding loooking over to the empty desk at the back in the far corner, he was met by Harry Ioki carrying a loaded cardboard box.

"So you're going then?" Doug said coldly. "Well at least you haven't sneaked away." he said unable to keep the relief at seeing Harry from his voice.

"I thought about it." Harry replied. "I just couldn't"

"You really going home then?"

"Yeah. Look Doug I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We've all got to deal with stuff in our own way."

"No. I mean about Tom and what happened."

"What have you got to be sorry about?"

"I got us into that. That shot was meant for me."

"Are you kidding me? What is this crap?" Doug said unable to keep his disbelief under control. "Do you want to know why Tom jumped in front of that bullet? He was having nightmares about prison, you heard that though right? What he didn't tell you was that he always woke up after watching you being killed. He told me he tried to help you but he couldn't move the bars. It was driving him mad. He couldn't let that happen for real so he jumped in to save you. It's not your fault Harry, get over it."

"I can't help feeling responsible" Harry said sadly.

"The only thing you have to feel guilty about, Harry, is the fact that you haven't set foot in that hospital to see the guy who saved your life." Doug said struggling to keep his anger in check. "We've always been there for each other, what's changed that you can't be there for Tom?"

"You wouldn't understand". Harry said unable to look Doug in the eyes.

"Fine" Doug said coldly turning to walk away.

"The only one that would understand is in the hospital dying" Harry called after Doug

"So go talk to him." Doug said turning round to face him again. Harry looked back at him helplessly before turning to leave the Chapel for the last time.

"Doug?" Fuller called from his office, "You got a minute?"

"Sure" he said as he walked into the office and took a seat next to a tearful Judy, who had just said a diffucult goodbye to Harry, his badge was lying open on Fullers desk. "So what's happening with Crane?" he asked taking a seat next to Judy.

"Not much. They can't pin the double homicide on him because technically it wasn't him who ordered the shooting and they're are no witnesses to prove otherwise. It seems he commanded more loyalty than we expected. "

"Great, so his sentence remains unchanged." Doug said bitterly.

"Well we can get him charged for kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment with intent to harm, four counts of assault and illeagal restraint of a police officer. There's also a potential attempted murder charge."

"What do you mean potential?" Hoffs asked having regained her composure.

"Well it all depends on how much got back to IAD about what happened that night. Did any of you mention that Hanson shot first in your statements?"

"No captain" Judy replied as Doug shook his head.

"Good. Harry's assured me he didn't say anything either. Now in usual circumstances I would never condone this guys. but these aren't usual circumstances. You are not to let on to anyone that Tom fired his gun that night, otherwise we got nothing. Best to keep Bookers presence under wraps as well, or you two might be joining him".

"They won't hear anything from us Captian!" Doug said stonily.

"Oh, and they found the other three guys involved in the breakout. They were in the boot of a car driven by Cranes buddy Leyton and his pal. Seems Crane was going all out to cover his tracks."

"So what's going to happen to them?" Jude asked

"Well, this is where is isn't all bad news. They're going to testify that Crane gave the order to have Matt Anderton and the others killed, so that's conspiracy to murder we can add to the charges."

"What about that kid, Mike?" Doug asked quietly.

"He's in a critcal condition, but it looks like he's gonna be ok."

"So how much more time do you think he's looking at?"

"That depends" Fuller said uncomfortably unable to meet the eyes of his young officers.

"Depends on what?" Doug asked.

"On wether Hanson makes it. Right Captian?" Judy said softly. Fuller nodded and sat down heavily in his chair.

"That's why we can't let anyone know Tom fired at Crane. If he can claim self defense then all we'd be looking at is involuntary manslaughter." A long uncomfortable silence followed as the three of them sat absorbed in their own thoughts.

"Look guy's" Fuller said kindly, "He's a tough kid. Anyway, his mother called earlier and said he was breathing on his own for a short time, he's back on the respirator but at least it shows he's fighting and showing brain activity."

"Well that's good. Right Doug?" Hoffs said looking to her remaining partner for reassurance.

"Yeah, that's good".Doug said unconvincingly.

"Whatever happens guys, Crane is spending alot of time in prison."

"That's not gonna do Tom any good is it Captain?" Doug snapped angrily.

"There's nothing we can do directly to help Tom. He would want Crane to go away for a very long time, and we can try and give him that."

"How would you know what he wants?"

"Don't do this again Penhall! You're not the only one hurting here! You guys are like my children, so don't tell me you're the only one this is effecting."

"I know, sorry." Doug said turning his eyes to the floor.

"Captain, you haven't seen Hanson for a few days, you want to come with us tonight?" Hoffs asked turning bloodshot eyes to Fuller.

"Thanks Judy, but I'm on my way there as soon as I'm done here with you guys. I think Mrs Hanson needs a break."

"Will you call and let us know how he is?" Doug asked.

"That goes without saying Doug" Fuller said softly to his young officer.

"Thanks Captain".

"I just wish Harry would go see him" Jude said.

"He will" Fuller replied."He just needs time to think about things that's all".

"What if that's time Tom doesn't have?" Doug said sadly

"We'll just have to cope with that IF it happens" Fuller said.

When Fuller arrived at the hospital he went straight to Hanson's room to find Margaret asleep next to the bed still clutching her son's hand. He walked over looked quckly down at the still figure lying on the bed and went to gently wake her. She looked up groggily at him and then appeared slightly embarassed as she realised who it was.

"Sorry" Fuller said, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"That's ok", she replied, "I must have just dozed off for a few minutes, or a few hours" she corrected herself as she glanced at her watch.

"How's he doing?"

"Not sure. The doctors don't really say much. They don't like to give false hope." she said bitterly. "But to be honest, I just wish I was able to see my boy's face." As Fuller looked down at Tom, he understood exactly what she meant. The facial injuries had healed and if he wasn't on the respirator, Tom would give the impression he was just sleeping peacfully. He could almost believe that if it wasn't for the continuous bleeping noises coming from the monitoring equipment. Yet he found the steady beeping and the weezing sound of respirator strangly comforting.

"Captain Fuller?" Margaret asked bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Adam" he corrected her.

"Adam, do you have kids?"

"Yeah. I've got a boy in college, Kip. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through".

"I'm so scared we're going to lose him again."

"Hey, I've seen Tom come through some heavy stuff over the past few years and he's got alot of people cheering him on. He'll come through this too."

"You know, he always speaks very highly of you. Seems you're quite the father figure."

"Really? I never got that impression."

"Well, that's Tommy. He's been that way since he was a kid. I think he was trying to show everyone he could take care of things after his father was killed. He was wonderful through everything. You know he even organised the funeral. I'm afraid I wasn't much good to him for awhile."

"I'm sure he understood. He's a pretty remarkable kid" Fuller said with a smile

"That's all he is, just a kid. He's still so young how can this be happening?"

"He's in a dangerous profession Mrs Hanson." he said putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Margaret." she said with a smile, which he returned. "You know when he told me he wanted to be a cop like his dad, I was so frightend for him. But it was so important to him. I was so sure one day something like this would happen, now it has I can't quite believe it. I keep just wanting to put out my hand and open his eyes. I'm sorry this can't be easy for you after what happened with Harry."

"Harry got through it, and so will Tom."

"Thank you Adam" Then she turned to look back at her son. She put out her hand and once again smoothed back his unruly hair from his forehead. "Come back to us baby" she said softly. Then she looked over at Fuller and said, "Would you mind keeping Tommy company, I need to take a walk"

"Sure" he said and with one last look at her only child she turned to leave the room. Fuller moved closer to the bed and looked down at the still face, remembering all the insolent and defiant expressions he had seen on that face so many times. As well as the teasing smiles, thoughtful concentration and unfortunaltey the sadness that had clouded his features too many times for someone still so young. As he looked down at him, it suddenly struck him that he felt towards Tom as he did towards his own son.

"Come on kid!" he said under his breath. "Don't let this beat you!"

_**Well there you go. Hope it wasn't too far off and they weren't to OOC. **_


	21. Chapter 21

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

A few hours later as he tried to fight his way through the darkness towards the familiar voices, the voices Tom could hear around him had changed. The voices of his mother and comanding officer had been replaced by the voice of Doug Penhall.

"I'm tired of talking to myself buddy. People are gonna start thinking I'm crazy. Look, I'll make you a deal ok. You wake up and next time I'm in your car I won't put my feet on the dashboard. No? Ok, I'll chew with my mouth closed." he stopped and thought for a moment. "I'll actually chew!Ok maybe I just better not eat in your car huh? Right then,err I won't set you up on anymore blind dates? Come on Hanson, help me out here, there can be that much about me that bugs you."he looked thoughtfully down at his friend for a moment before saying "Final offer Tom, if you come back, I promise I will never let any harm come to you again." Dougs voice was eventualy joined by that of Judy Hoffs carrying yet another grotty paper cup full of vending machine coffee. She walked quietly in the room and closed the door softly behind her.

"Hey, open that" Doug said harshly as he whirled round.

"Sorry." Jude said puzzled as she opened the door.

"No one's shutting him in anywhere again, you got that?"

"Sure" she said nervously as she made her way to his side and held out one of the coffees to him."What are you doing?" Judy said trying to make her tone light.

"Talking to Tom" Doug said simply, turning his head to different angles and looking intently at his best friend's face. Judy looked at Doug with concern, the last month had been awful for all of them but he seemed to be taking it very hard.

"He looks better today, don't you think?" Jude said hopefully.

"Yeah, sure he does." Doug said unconvincingly.

"He will be alright Doug!"

"Why do people always say that when they know it's not true?"

"This is Hanson we're talking about, of course he is."

"Haven't we been assuming that for too long now?"

"Doug it's been a month, Harry was in here for nearly six".

"I don't mean just this. We've always taken it for granted that he's strong enough to cope with anything, and I think he showed us that we've been wrong the whole time."

Judy winced remembering watching Hanson tormenting Crane that night.

"He's all I've got left. My parents left me, Dorothy left me and Marta was taken from me. He's my best friend and if I lose him now I've got noone" Doug said struggling to keep his composure.

"Hey" Judy said, holding back her own hurt for his sake, "That's not true. You've got Clavo, he needs you, and you've got me"

"And me." came a familiar voice from the doorway. Doug and Judy spun round to see Harry stood in the doorway his troubled gazed fixed on Tom, his eyes retaining the same distant look they had for too long now. Wanting to erase the distance Judy walked over and hugged him.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"Hey, Iokage! What changed your mind" Doug said clapping him on the back.

"A good friend of mine said somethings that made me see sense" he said smiling faintly at Doug. "So how's he doing?"

"He's hanging in there." Jude said calmly.

"How you doing Iok?" Doug asked.

"I'm going to be Ok." Both Doug and Judy smiled as they looked at him, then all three turned towards the bed, trying to ingnore the constant noises from around the room.

"I hate the sound of these machines." Harry said nervously.

"It's alright Harry" Judy said taking his hand, realising how hard this must be for him. "Remember, we're here for Hanson."

"Yeah I know. God knows he's always been there for us. Funny isn't it," Harry continued, "Whenever we have problems he's the first one we turn to, but who does he turn to when he needs help?"

"It's like he's held us all together for the last few years" Judy began. "And he's still doing it now.Do you realise this is the first time that the four of us have been together for months" Judy said taking Doug and Harry's hands in each of hers.

"Do you remember how crazy he used to make us?" Harry said with a smile.

"God, he was so uptight and straight and so damn perfect!" Doug said pretending disgust

"Yeah" Jude said with a smile remembering the over eager kid of 21 she had met all those years ago, and how now at 25 he had grown into one of the most fun, caring and remarkable young men she had ever met. "He didn't think much to you at first either Doug" she said teasing him.

"I remember during the first few months in the programme he must have chewed my ear off about you for hours. 'He's sloppy, he's irresponsible, he's a screw up'" Harry said doing his best impression of the old Tom Hanson, who because of everything he'd been through, good and bad, was now well and truly gone.

"Yeah, but our Tom was always in there, you just had to get him to relax. Now I'd do anything to have him open his eyes and tell me to shut up" Doug said.

"Keep talking, see what happens" Harry suggested only half joking.

"If I talk at him anymore he'll probably jump up and punch me out" Doug quipped. The comfortable banter afforded the three young officers a slice of normality they desperatly needed.

"You didn't have to go to these lengths just to get us to hang out Tommy" Doug said.

"He hears you calling him Tommy and he will punch you out" Harry said grinning, all of them knowing how much he hated being addressed by the childhood version of his name.

Reacting to the sound of his friends voices, Tom's hands began to twich as he slowly began to come round. Then at hearing a slight murmer coming from his direction, Doug, Harry and Judy rushed over. As they saw his breathing begin to get deeper and his eyelids begin to twich, Judy's eyes lit up and she let out a yelp as she dashed from the room and instantly reappeared with Tom's doctor and an anxious Margaret Hanson hot on her heels. The doctor walked over and once again shone light into Tom's eyes. With a slight smile he turned to the others and said "He's starting to come around. Talk to him. It'll help with the disorientation."

Mrs Hanson stood by the bed stroking Tom's hair and calling to him as the others looked on. "Come on honey, wake up." she was saying.

Relief flooding over him, Doug watched the scene before him and found himself thinking that he wouldn't be surprised if Tom had answered "I don't want to go to school ma!" or something like that. He fought back his laughter and made a mental note to tease him about it at the first opportunity.

Tom struggled to focus his eyes in the direction of the voices he had heard under the bright hospital light. He was unable to make out the figures surrounding him and suddenly became confused and distressed that he didn't know where he was. He gagged as he tried to breath past the respirator tube that was obsructing his throat.

"Stay calm, it's ok! Doug said taking hold of the hand Mrs Hanson wasn't already clutching for dear life. He turned his confused and distressed eyes towards his mother who did her best to calm him, tears of relief running down her cheeks.

"Stay still baby." she was saying. His vision was limited to the imedeate area around the bed, and his wide frightened eyes began to search for the voices that he had followed back from the darkness.

"Tom, I'm so sorry." Doug said, squeezing his hand. Tom's eyes met his and to Doug's relief he squeezed back.

"I'm sorry, I'll have to ask some of you to step outside for a moment. The respirator is going to have to be removed and it's not going to be pleasant", the doctor said appologeticaly. As Doug and Mrs Hanson stood up Tom's hands clamped down on both of theirs in panic.

"It's ok Mrs Hanson you can stay where you are" the doctor said.

"It's ok Tom, I'll see you very soon" Doug said as he moved towards the others by the door.

A little while later Mrs Hanson called the group back in. They were relieved as they saw their friends face clearly for the first time in weeks, it was also a huge relief not to hear the constant wheezing of his laboured breaths.

"They've had to put him on alot of painkillers", she told them, "So he's drifting in and out, but you can talk to him" she continued as she led them in. She walked over to her son and gently pressed his hand. "Tom, honey wake up."

"What's going on?" he asked groggily, his voice cracked and hoarse.

"You're in the hospital Tommy. Don't worry everything's going to be fine now."

"Where's Harry? Is he ok?" he asked as he stuggled to open his heavy eyes.

"Right here Tom" came Harry's voice. "It's good to have you back."

"Doug and Judy are here too" Margaret said softly as her son's eyes began to clear and focus on her.

"Not funny Thomas!" Doug said smiling from ear to ear unable to surpress his relief. Tom smilied sleepily at him and then turned to focus on Judy.

"Hey" she said smiling warmly down on him. "Missed you"

"You want anything?" Doug asked enthusiastically, happy at finally being able to do something for his partner.

"Kinda thirsty"

"Sure. I'll get you some water. Don't worry" he said as he filled a cup from the jug of water on the table. "I won't spill like last time, I promise. Anyway it's..."

"Doug?" Tom said his voice still so quiet they had to strain slightly to hear him.

"What? You need the doctor? More blankets? What?"

"Shut up!" Tom said, his eyes only half open and half a smile on his face.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that" Judy laughed as Doug helped him take small sips of water.

"Someone should call Fuller" Harry said

Harry and Judy looked at each other in silent understanding. Then Hoffs turned to Doug and said "You stay here with Mrs Hason. I'll call the Chapel and let everyone know the good news." Then she turned to Tom smiling and said "We'll see you later"

"Yeah, don't go anywhere!" Harry quipped

"Where am I going?" Tom replied, his voice growing stronger.

"Nowhere for awhile Hanson." Jude replied trying not to laugh quickly planting a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. She turned to Doug and said "Take care of them" then followed Harry into the hallway.

"Jump Street Chapel?" came the voice of Sal Banducci as he picked up the reciever.

"Sal? You're fielding calls?"

"Someones got to."

"Nevermind" Judy said unable to keep her exhuberance under control. "Sal he's awake!"

"Hanson?"

"No, Tutankamun!" She said sarcastically "Of course Hanson"

"When?"

"Not long. About 10- 15 minutes ago."

"Can we see him?"

"For a little while. He's still pretty sleepy and you can't keep his attention for long, but the docs say we can talk to him for a few minutes. They're taking him for tests soon, so you'd better make it quick"

"Have you told Harry?"

"Harry's here!" she said smiling at her partner stood beside her.

"I had a feeling he would be. Ok I'll get Fuller and we'll be there as soon as we can"

"See you soon Sal" and hung up the reciever.

As soon as he had put the phone down Blowfish raced at top speed into Fuller's office. In his eagerness to spread the news he forgot to knock and burst through the door like a hurricane. Fuller looked up from his desk with a look like death as he made eye contact with Sal.

"Don't you know how to knock Sal?" he said clearly irritated.

"Sorry, sir. But Judy just phoned from the hospital".

Fuller's expression turned from angry to scared in a split second, as he feared the worst.

"Hanson's awake!"

"What!" Fuller said jumping up from his desk as if he was twenty years younger than his 44 years.

"Tom's awake". Sal smiled and he and Fuller, relieved and elated threw their arms around one another as they jumped about the office. This was followed by an uncomfortable silence as the moment passed and they came to their senses.

"So I guess we better get to the hospital" Sal said giving an uncomfortable cough.

"You want a ride?" Fuller replied

Sal smiled as the two men left the office and headed for the parking lot.

_**Once again thank you for being so encouraging with your reviews. I've got three endings in mind for this story so bear with me while I decide. :0)**_


	22. Chapter 22

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

For what seemed like hours the doctor had prodded and poked and asked Tom what seemed like a thousand inane questions, like do you know what your name is? Who's the president?. Questions which normally he would have found unbelieveably irritating, but being so tired and wanting only to rest answered the doctor's questions as quickly as he could. He had been somewhat surprised when the doctor had asked him what the date was, to find it was now june and he had lost nearly five weeks.

"How you feeling honey?" Margaret asked when the doctor had finally left, but not before promising a round of scans and x-rays once he was strong enough.

"Tired" he said simply.

"Ok. We'll go and let you get some rest." she said, kissing his forehead, before turning to Doug and signalling him from the room. "We'll only be down the hall if you want us"

"I'll see you later buddy. Ok?"

"Doug, can you stay?" he asked trying to sit up. Doug looked uncertainly over at Margaret, silently asking her approval.

"It's ok!" she said smiling kindly at Doug. "See you soon" she said to her son as she left the room.

"Man, you have no idea how much you scared us". Doug said taking a seat by Tom, who was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Sorry. Doug?" he said, his voice deadly serious and forcing his heavy bloodshot eyes to focus on his friend.

"What is it? Doug asked anxiouosly

"I really have to pee!" he said as the shadow if his usual bright smile appeared on his haggard face. Doug was relived to be able to finally find his friend hiding somewhere in this weak broken young man lying infront of him.

"I can't help you there man!" Doug said as they both began to laugh, if for nothing other than total relief. Tom let out a gasp and his face twisted in pain.

"Hey, you ok?" Doug asked concerned.

"I guess it hurts to laugh!" Tom said trying to reassure his friend.

"Should I fetch the doctor."

"God no! It's almost as bad as being interogated by Fuller. I'm too tired for that." he said once again that faint smile appearing for a split second. "Oh god, Doug, I feel like I've just done a thousand tequilla slammers. What have they got me on?" he asked as he awkwardly tried adjust his position to be able to look at where the line in his arm was coming from, but unable to support his own weight.

"Morphine, I think."

"Wow! Sky high undercover cop!"

"Hey, stay still, man, you're gonna pull that out." Doug said as he took hold of Tom's shoulders to prevent him from trying to sit up and genlty forcing him back down. He was a little distressed at how weak he seemed but he told himself that was to be expected.

"Doug, I need to move!" he said, the familiar impatience begining to surface, which also gave Doug further encouragement that his friend was going to be ok.

"What's wrong?"

"I have been lying here a little while you know" Tom said trying to comunicate with his eyes, which were still a little glazed and distant.

"Yeah, I know, but you've only just come round , you can't just get up and go."

"I know! That's not what I mean."

"What? Oh!" Doug said as he slowly realised what Tom meant. He stood up and gently helped Tom to shift his weight. "Did you keep that pillow I bought you, cos, you know If you want I could go fetch it,might help." he said with a sly smile.

"Help what?" Tom asked a little confused.

"The sores."

"Sores? No man, just take the pins out of this...thing...what's it called?"

"Err, bed? God, Hanson you really are out of it!"

"No I'm not, that's why it hurts!" then he squinted his eyes as he looked at his partner and let out a strange giggle that Doug could only discribe as disturbingly girlish. "There's three of you, and what's with your hair? It's awful!"

"I'm going to put that down to the morphine."

"Is that what's making my head feel so weired?"

"Come on Tom focus, man! I can't make any sense of what you saying. Maybe I should let you sleep."

Tom's hand shot out and grabbed his arm as he got up to leave. There wasn't much strength to be able to hold him there but noticing Tom's eyes clear for a moment as he did this was enough to make him sit down again.

"Don't Doug, I wanted to talk to you about something. Oh god, this stuff messes you up."

"What is it?"

"Harry. Is he really ok?"

"Yeah. I mean, he was a little shaken and worried about you like the rest of us, but he's fine."

"Why was he the only one who stayed away?" Tom asked, for the moment completely aware and coherent. Doug decided to answer quickly and make the most of this moment of clarity before he trailed off again.

"How do you know that?"

"Heard you all"

"Wow, that's really true eh?"

"Hmmm"

"He got it into his head what happend to you was his fault."

"That's ridiculous! How can he be responsible for Crane reacting the way he did, and what I did was my choice. He can't be responsible for other peoples actions ...". He suddenly stopped mid sentence and the look on his face was so comical that Doug couldn't keep from laughing this time.

"I've been an idiot haven't I?" Tom said

"Just a bit" Doug replied smiling warmly.

"What bit?" Tom asked strangely as he drifted off again.

Doug chuckled stood up and said "You get some sleep and I'll see you when you come down ok?"

"Hey, Doug, you know what?"

"What?" he answered still grinning stupidly

"I think I'm really drunk" Tom said sleepily as his head sunk into the pillows and his eyes drifted shut. Doug sat there with his arms on the edge of the bed and his head resting on his arms watching his friend to confirm that he was still breathing ok, smiling at the bizare conversation he had just had with him.

"Doug? You still there?" Tom asked in that same sleepy voice minutes later.

"Yeah I'm here" he said putting his hand on Tom's.

"Can you stay?"

"Sure!" he replied, "You rest, I'll be here." Shortly after Tom's slow steady breathing confirmed he was asleep Doug gave into his own exhustion and allowed his own eyes to slowly close.

This was how Judy found them hours later. She stood in the doorway, fondly watching the scene before her. Tom's head tilted slightly towards his partner, who was resting close by, with his hand still holding on to Tom's.

"Hey, sleeping beauty!" she said softly in Dougs ear, so as not to wake her frail friend who was still sleeping peacefully.

"Hey" Doug said looking at her through sleep fuzzed eyes. "Where's Mrs H?"

"Oh she's around. She sat with you both for awhile, didn't want to wake you, she's just gone for coffee and something to eat. I don't think she's had a proper meal or proper nights sleep in over a month, and she's not the only one." She said smiling warmly at him. "Fuller, Booker and Blowfish popped by too by the way. They're waiting in reception. Why don't you go and some real sleep. He's safe with me."

"Actually, that's the best I've slept since it happened." he said rubbing absently at his stiff neck. "Maybe you're right" he said. "Just for an hour or two though".

"I can cope" she replied kindly.

"The doctor said we're to let him sleep if he wants to, but we should wake him every so often, you know, keep his head functioning".

"Doug, we all love him too. Stop worrying, I'll take care of him."

"Just keep an eye on him Judith!"

"He can hear you!" came the quiet sleepy voice from behind them. "And he doesn't need keeping an eye on cos he's not going anywhere." he said waving his hand weakly to point out the IV. "Unless you think I can carry my accessories around with me."

"Sorry" Doug said with a sheepish smile. "Oh, Jude?" he said signaling to her to follow him into the hallway.

"Yes Penhall!" she said with indulgent impatience. "

"Just so you know, he's kinda out of it cos of the pain medication. When he does talk, he's not making much sense"

"Nothing new there then. Just go Douglas!"

"Ok"

Judy smiled after him as walked down the hallway, then returned to Tom and said quietly "Sorry it took so long" she said jokingly "You're safe now, he's gone." Hanson however had quickly fallen back to sleep. She looked down at him just to confirm that he was really there and smiled as she settled in the chair beside the bed. She began to leaf through a magazine that had just been tossed in the waiting room, wondering how long she should wait before waking him.

Not long after, Tom awoke to find her sitting folding and unfolding the magazine in her hands. He looked around the room, still in a daze and begining to notice a dull ache in his head and chest. He found himself thinking that this was like his nightmare. Only this time it was the faces of those he knew and loved that were flitting before him, making him feel safe.

"Where's Doug" he asked startling Judy from her thoughts.

"I sent him to get some rest. He looked totally beat. Will I do till he gets back."

"Yeah of course" he said, not sure if he'd hurt her feelings. "I was just worried I'd lost another six months" he said.

"No, just a couple of hours". Then she noticed a grimace of pain twist his delicate features as he tried to move. "Hey, are you in pain?" she said with concern moving closer to his side.

"Little bit" he said. She could hear a slight tremble in his voice as he spoke. "Head hurts", he continued as he closed his eyes.

"Do you want me to get a doctor. They might be able to give you something to help. It's probably wearing off."

"No, messes my head up. Can't think clearly" he said

"Doesn't matter if you're in pain. Anyway, I'm used to you talking nonsense."

"That's Doug's department" he said giving her a sleepy smile, which was quckly replaced as he flinched from the pain in his chest. "Ok maybe you should fetch the doctor".

After the doctor had come and given him another shot of morphine, seeing his distress, Judy came and sat on the bed next to Tom and gently pulled him close to her, keeping her arm around him for comfort as he let his heavy, aching head rest against her.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was of losing you?" she said

"Jude..."

"No, I want to say this before the drugs kick in and you don't remember. If there's one thing this last year has taught me it's that life is too short to leave things unsaid. You are so important to me Hanson. When Evan Roberts did what he did you were the only one I felt I could turn to. Every other guy made my skin crawl by just being near me, even Doug and Fuller. You made me feel safe, you were so amazing through the whole thing and I never thanked you for that, or for watching my place that night"

"You saw?" he said, his voice growing sleepy and distant once again.

"Yeah I saw."

"That why you kissed me? Cos I make you feel safe?"

"No. I kissed you because I wanted to."

"Well in that case we need to have a serious talk, cos you see me and Doug have kind of a thing..." he said, looking at her from under half closed lids the shadow of his familiar teasing smile touching his lips.

"And it won't happen again. We were both upset and I just felt like I should kiss you. I love you Tom Hanson" she said hugging him close, trying not to cause him any discomfort, "But that's as far as you are ever going to get. Besides, Doug would kill me!" she added trying to make the moment less serious.

However as she said this she looked down and realised he had fallen asleep again, the painkilling drugs doing thier work. As she watched him sleep, his thick black lashes grazing his cheeks and an expression of peace and contentment on his still face, to her he looked like an angel and didn't seem to have aged a minute since that day over four years ago. All except his eyes. Over the past couple of years they had seemed older somehow, the eyes of someone who had seen too much too soon. Sure, he had become slowly more jaded and cynical over the years, but it just isn't possible for someone in their line of work to stay as naive and idealistic as he was the day he first walked into Jump Street, but someting in those eyes troubled her the same way as the faraway look in Harry's did. Judy found herself wishing for the time when they had still been as innocent as Hanson looked at that moment. Before Amy, before Ronnie Seebac, James Adaboe, Darline, Tower, Crane and Farrell. Before Evan Roberts, Loach, Marta and El Salvador. Before the city and the policeforce who ridiculed them and claimed they had no need for them had used them up and sucked them dry. The days when they had all smiled and laughed more often, before those smiles and laughter had been replaced by pain and tears. Her mind drifted back to that day just over a year ago when she had been sat in that room in the courthouse listening as they had painted her much loved friend as some kind of cold blooded killer. How she had felt ashamed as she watched him on the stand thinking that she had actually believed he could have done it. She saw the room errupt in chaos as the judge read out the verdict. Mrs Hanson distraught, Doug screaming outraged protests, the defense attorney yelling about unfair trials. Throughout the whole scene Tom had just stood there, calmly looking straight forward, seemingly oblivious to everything around him. He hadn't even flinched when they came to take him away. Judy shuddered and shook her head to be rid of these thoughts. It didn't matter anymore. He was here and he was safe, she told herself, and everything was going to be ok. She gently moved a few stray strands of thick dark hair from Tom's face before kissing the top of his head as he slept peacefully on in her arms.

He was woken not long after as an impatient Adam Fuller, Dennis Booker and Sal Banducci were shown into the room by a very tired but much relieved Margaret Hanson.

"Sorry honey, but I found this mob outside demanding to see you."

"How much sleep do you need Tom, you've been sleeping for a month" Sal said in his usual jovial manner.

"Sally!" Tom said smiling absently at the short scruffy janitor."You haven't been embezeling my winnings while I've been stuck in here have you?"

"Would I?" Sal replied feining offense.

"We've kept an eye on him Tom" Fuller said taking his young officers hand and shaking it enthusiastally dispite Tom's still obvious lack of strengh. "I'm proud of you kid!" he contiued smiling.

"Thanks coach. Am I in trouble?" he asked his captain, looking at him from under heavy eyelids.

"Shit loads, Hanson, but it can wait. Let me just say if you ever try pulling anything like that again I'll shoot you myself." Fuller said grinning.

"Don't worry, I'm in no rush. But next time coach, do me a favour?"

"Sure, what?"

"Don't send me to any more genius academies."

"Will do Hanson" he said grinning.

"So how's the hero?" Booker said flashing his arrogant, but sincere, smile at the still drug muddled Hanson.

"I'm no hero, but I'm still here Dennis" he answered. "How's the arm?"

"It's been better. Hey, Jude, you wanna give some of that this way" Booker said, referring to the fact she was still holding Tom tightly in her arms absently twisting his hair round her fingers.

"In your dreams. I missed him ok? I never missed you" she said with a mischeivious smile.

"We brought you this" Sal said excitedly pulling out a video tape. "I taped the whole pro bowlers tour for you".

"Bowlers tour! You wanna put him back in that coma?". A loud bellow announcing the return of Doug Penhall, followed closely by Harry.

"You moving in on my girl Hanson!" Harry said with a crooked grin.

"You'll always be my favourtie Harry" Jude replied.

"Hey what about me?"

"Sorry Doug, but Tom's the jealous type and I don't think he'd like sharing you."

Margaret sat by her son, holding his hand, smiling contently as she watched her boys friends surround him, listening to their good natured banter. Untill she noticed Tom was begining to drift again, albeit with a semblance of his bright smile on his face.

"You ok Tommy?"

"Yeah, just tired, and I've a bit of a headache."

"Alright guys, out. You've tired him out and the doctors are comming shortly to take him for tests so come on let him rest awhile" she said good naturedly to the rabble surrounding her boy's sickbed.

"See Coach!" came Hansons sleepy voice, "I promised you I'd have my head examined"

"Later Tom!" Fuller said quietly to his disorientated young officer. They hadn't told Margaret the whole story of what had happened that night, he'd decided it was Tom's place to tell her if he ever wanted to. He didn't think this was the best time for it to come out.

"Hey, come on you lot, Doctors orders" Margaret yelled.

This was met by protests and groans from the younger members of the group, until Fuller stepped in to offer Margaret support.

"Seriously guys. Tom only woke up a few hours ago, he's still very ill, let him be for awhile, ok?" They all grudgingly submitted, each saying a cheerful goodbye to Hanson. As Harry turned to leave he heard Tom call after him.

"Harry, don't go"

Ioki turned and eyed him with concern. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just want to talk to you. Mom, do you mind?"

"Sure. I'll go catch up with Adam" she said with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Adam?" her son replied bewildered

"You know, If he wasn't your boss and I was a few years younger..."

"MOM!" Tom said in disgust, in what passed for yelling in his present state.

Mrs Hanson smiled, winked in Harrys direction, before saying goodbye to her son. "I'll be back before the Doctors come to take you down."

"I'll be fine." he assured as she kissed him goodbye.

"Watch him Harry"

"Mom!"

"Sure Mrs H" Ioki replied, then turned to Hanson as she left the room "Fuller?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Harry, I'm sick enough thanks!"

Harry smiled, seeing his friend regaining some of his old self. "So what's up Tom" he asked taking a seat beside the bed.

"Help me up will you?"

"Are you sure you should be sitting up?"

"Hey, Iok, please"

Harry stood, got some extra pillows and gently placed them behind Tom to help him into a semi sitting position, noting the pain etched in his face as he moved.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Nevermind. Doug says you're having a hard time with this. You know it wasn't your fault right?"

"I know!"

"Harry, don't use that tone on me, I invented that, you're infringing on copyright laws!"

"You ever stop being a cop?" He said trying to change the subject.

"Look Iokage, listen to me while I can still string three words togther ok cos you should now how quick this stuff messes you up! Don't keep blaming yourself for things that aren't under your control. Trust me it doesn't do anybody any good. No one is to blame, situations get out of control and things happen, it's just the way it goes."

"I just feel responsible, I can't help it!"

"You shouldn't. Crane's responsible, not you and not me. Ok?"

"Tom, I'm sorry for everything I said. I was hurting and angry and I just wanted someone else to feel that."

"All forgotten Iokage. What is it?" Hanson asked suspiciously as Harry began to seem nervous.

"I'm going home."

"No problem. Apparently I need to sleep anyway. See you later."

"No Tom" Harry said smiling, "Vietnam".

"Really? Why?"

"I found my grandmother. She wants me to go back."

"I'm pleased for you Harry. Not going anytime soon are you."

"My ticket's booked for tomorrow."

"Ok, we'll all just have to go for a beer before you go. As soon as I'm outta here that is."

Harry just look back blankly as the Doctor and Mrs Hanson entered the room followed by a young nurse who kept sneaking sideways glances at the patient, which he was completely unaware of. They weren't lost on Harry though, who did his best to hide his amusement

"Time for your scan Tom", the doctor said cheerfully, not once raising his eyes from his notes until Mrs Hanson let out a gasp.

"Thomas Hanson, what do you think you're doing? Harry he shouldn't be sitting up."

"Leave him alone mom, I asked to, ok." Tom said slightly irritated.

"She's right Tom" the doctor said as he began to help Tom back down.

"When can I get outta here Doctor, I hate hospitals".

"Not for a while yet. Things like this take time to heal."

Hanson rolled his eyes and turned as best he could to face Harry as the nuse disconnected the line from empty bag from the latest blood transfusion and took hold of the IV drip as the Doctor began to wheel him from the room. "Harry!" he said, sounding a little distressed, "You and me , we're ok yeah?"

"Absolutely" Harry said briefly taking hold of Tom's hand."See you when you get back."

As Tom was rolled out into the hallway he was greeted by shouts from his waiting friends, all of them drowned out however by the bellowing voice of Penhall.

"Hey Tommy, nice wheels, you trading in the Mustang?"

"Thank you Doug" Tom said waving away his freind's comments with a slight smile as they watched him go. Harry soon joined the others and sat next to Doug letting out a deep sigh.

"So how did it go?" Doug asked almost imediately

"Are you two pshycic or something?"

"No, I just know him too well by now. So?"

"Tom doesn't blame me." he said simply and calmly.

"Of course he doesn't! What have I been saying Iokage?"

"I know. I guess if he doesn't blame me it's stupid to blame myself huh?"

"Yep."

"I suppose I just needed to hear him say it." Then a sudden light broke on Harry's face. "Maybe that's what he needs too!"

"What?"

"To be told he's not to blame."

"What are you up to Harry?"

"Nothing. Take care of him Doug!" he said as he sprinted down the corridor and out to his car.


	23. Chapter 23

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

A couple of hours later after Tom had been wheeled back and the rest of the Jump Street gang had said thier goodbyes and went to wait in the hall, Mrs Hanson sat by her son's bedside anxious for the results of the tests.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Margaret asked her son for the tenth time since returning to his room. The the strain of the tests and being moved had tired Tom considerably.

"Yes, and if I'm not I'm in the right place." he said impatiently.

"I'm just concerned that's all. To me you're still my baby you know." she said slightly hurt by his tone.

"Sorry." he said, his face softening as he took hold of her hand. "I do appreciate it you know"

"I'm your mother, it's what I do."

Just then Doug ran into the room carrying an old telephone which seemed to be connected to a point in the hallway by a long extension cord.

"Doug, tell me this is the painkillers, and I'm not seeing this!" Tom said suspiscion and disbelief in his voice.

"Isn't it great. That nurse that has a thing for you arranged it for me. Although personaly I think she's only being nice to you cos she knows you're my friend and she's trying to impress me"

"Really?" Tom said sarcstically.

"Penhall charm my friend, no woman can resist."

"Resist being repelled more like. Doug why are you bringing a phone into a hospital ward. Don't people usually bring grapes." Tom said, his voice rising slightly

"Hey no shouting! This is a hospital you know!"

"I had noticed Doug, thank you!" Tom said irritably.

"Mrs Hanson, I'm please to be able to inform you that we have located your son!" Margaret covered a smile as Tom opened his mouth to retort, before being cut off by Doug.

"Don't argue, talk. Here, it's for you."

"What?" Tom asked, completely confused as Doug handed him the reciever. "Hello?" he said uncertainly

_"Tom!" _came Harry's voice from the other end.

"Harry? Where are you?"

_"Not important. I've someone who wants to talk to you."_ There was a sound of shuffling as Ioki passed the phone over to someone else. The next voice that he heard Tom recognised but couldn't place.

_"Hanson? It's Jack. Your friend here told me about what happened. How are you doing?"_

"Jack?" Hanson asked, then it suddenly dawned on him who he was talking to. "Jack Weaver?"

_"Yeah. How are you."_

"I'm a little surprised."

_"I just wanted to wish you all the best you know. Well, and to say thank you." _At this the confused look on Tom's face made Margaret and Doug have to stiffle wild laughter.

"For what?"

_"For making me do what was best. I'm a sergent now Hanson, I'm doing really well, my commander says in a couple of years I could make sergent major. I didn't think I could be happy in the army, but I am and I wanted to thank you for keeping me from making a big mistake."_

"You're really happy?" Tom asked, his eyes misting.

_"Yeah, I am."_

"I'm pleased for you Jack" he said smiling.

_"Gotta make this short and sweet I'm afraid. You get well soldier!" _he said jokingly, _"and tell Penhall I said hey!"_

"I will. Take care man" Tom smiled softly as he put down the phone. Margaret and Doug were both looking at him with identicle inane grins as he said, "Jack says hey!"

"Really!" said Doug sarcastically.

"He's really dong ok!"

"Yeah he is. Thanks to you. Oh and thats not all. Mr Ioki has been quite the busy beaver." Doug said as he pulled out an envelope and handed it to Tom.

"Whats this?"

"Open it!"

He looked with questioning eyes over to his mother and best friend before opening the envelope. He pulled out the folded paper and tried to read it, but his drug fuzzed eyes wouldn't focus. "Can you?" he said passing it back to Doug.

"Dear Tom. I was so sorry to hear about you recent illness. I hope you make a full recoverey very soon. I just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you at this time and will never forget what you did for our son. Thank you for making Harley's last weeks a little less lonely. All the best, Joan Poolish." Doug looked up at his friend to see tears forming in his eyes. "See. You have so little to be ashamed of. You may have helped punish some bad kids but you helped some good ones too"

Doug sat watching his friend deep in thought. They were both broken out of their reverie as there was a soft tap on the door. They all looked up to see a young woman with dark curly hair nervously standing in the doorway.

"Ok if I come in?"

"This is rediculous! What are you people trying to do here?" Tom said as recognised Noreen Weckerly stood in the doorway.

"Sorry, is this a bad time?"

"Don't worry about it, these people are just trying to make my life a living hell. Mom, Doug, this is Noreen Weckerly."

"Hi"

"Hello" Noreen answered shyly.

"What are you doing here?" Tom asked kindly

"A friend of yours told me you were seriously ill and I thought I'd come and wish you well."

"This friend, was he really short, oriental,dark hair, bad mullet"

"How did you know?"

"Just a hunch. So how are you?"

"I'm doing ok. It's been tough, but things are going well. Me and dad are even geting along better recently."

"That's good to know."

"I won't stay long, there's a whole queue of people out there waiting to see you" Hearing this Tom's eyes grew three sizes as he shot a worried glance towards Doug, who simply shook his head and waved it off. "I just thought I'd come and see you and say thank you."

"For what?"

"For trying to help Kenny. You were the only one who listened to us, it meant alot to know someone cared." she said smiling softly. "Anyway, I'd better go. Dad's waiting in the car."

"Thanks for coming"

"Get better, ok Mr Hanson." then saying goodbye to Doug and Margaret she left the room.

_**(yes i know, very cheesey, but I thought I'd better be nice to Tom at least once in this story!)**_

Noticing her son's wearyness Margaret suggestsed he rest.

"I'm ok. You look exhusted though mom. How long have you been here now?"

"Oh about 6 weeks" Doug answered for her.

"I didn't want you to be alone".

"I never was!" he said looking her in the face with his huge brown eyes. "Get some rest yourself mom. Dougs here, it'll be fine. Anyway I don't want to have to worry about you making youself ill too" he said.

She looked down at him and caressed his cheek gently with her hand and said, "Your father would have been so proud of you, I know I am." she planted a kiss on his head promised she would be back later on and left him alone with his partner.

"I'm gonna kill Harry!" Tom said smiling though holding back tears.

"You think you can take him now huh?" Doug said smirking. He watched as Tom settled back on the pillows, peace in his eyes for the first time in too long. Doug smiled to himself and silently congratulated Harry for giving it to him.

"Doug?"

"What is it?"

"I think I need to get some help."

"What!" Doug replied slightly taken aback.

"I'm not stupid Doug, I know there's something wrong with me."

"You remember what happened?"

"Yeah" he replied quietly.

"Well, don't worry about that just know. Lets just get you out of here ok?"

Tom silently nodded his head, his eyes once again struggling to stay open, quietly cursing the painkillers for making feel so washed out.

"Tom?"

"Hmmm?" came the sleepy reply.

"Can ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If I'm overstepping the mark man let me know and I'll shut up..."

"Doug!" Tom said, the old familiar irritation in his voice as his eyes snapped open.

"Would you have really killed Crane that night?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah. You know you're gonna have to talk about it sometime." Doug said decisively.

"I honestly don't know. I just needed to know I had some control over something. You understand?"

"I think so"

"For the last year I've just been drifting, kinda blowin about in the wind. You remember after Quincy Thompson and her gang handcuffed me to that track?"

"Yeah?"

"Harry laid into me about risking my life and how precious life is. Then he told me I had no idea what it was like to almost die. Truth is Doug, I did. All those things he said about laying there thinking about your life and how much you want to live it, that's all I did for months. Prison may as well be a death sentence, because your life is effectively over. All the things you take for granted, your freedom, job, loved ones, they're all gone. You have so much time to think about all the things you had planned to do that you never will, everything you should have said and done and will never get the chance. They're the living dead in there Doug. When I heard Harry say those things all I wanted was to tell him I understood and knew how he felt."

"Why didn't you?"

"I tried, but he was so angry."

Doug flashed back to that night months ago in Tom's apartment. He saw a furious Harry laying into a very distressed Tom, shouting his tiraid as Tom softly said his name trying to get his attention.

"I'm so sorry Tom." he said moving over to his best friend and hugging him as best he could without causing him any discomfort. Hanson allowed his head to rest on Dougs shoulder as the lager man spoke in a shakey voice.

"We really let you down didn't we?"

"No!" he answered firmly, "You didn't. It was me who wouldn't let anyone in, not even you."

"Yeah. It's just after everything you've done for me I can't believe I let you go through all that alone."

"You're not a mind reader, Doug."

"I should have seen how much that place had gotten to you man."

"You got me out of there."

"Yeah. Least I could do after all the messes you've got me out of."

"Most of which I got you into."

"Ok, lets just say that we're both a couple of screwups and we deserve to be stuck with each other."

"Deal! You've been like my brother Doug and I love you. I can never thank you enough for that."

"Hey, right back at you" he said releasing his grip on the smaller officer and trying to discretely wipe tears from his eyes.

"Even though you did blow a hole in my ass"

"You're never letting me forget that are you?"

"I said I wouldn't. And never tell anyone I said I loved you cos I'll deny it under oath" Doug simply smiled, happy to be sat here listening to his friends banter. "Promise me something." he pushed, eventhough Tom was obviously tiring.

"What?"

"When you get out of here you WILL see someone."

"Didn't we just have this conversation?" he said. "God, I'd do it just to get you all off my case" he said lightly, but behind his flippant tone he was deadly serious.

"You look exhusted. Do you want to try and rest, I'll be right here."

"No, I'm bored of sleeping."

"Tom, you only woke up yesterday, you should rest."

"Doug..."

"Hey, I promised if you woke up I'd make sure you were looked after."

"What are you my mother?"

"I'd say more of an elderly spinster aunt!"

"Stop worrying will you? I don't want you to worry about me anymore."

"Tom..."he said mimicing Hansons tone.

"Promise."

"Sure. Is there anything I can get you?"

"Pizza?" Tom said dryly, the light in his eyes dancing making him appear his old self.

"Not yet buddy. You stay on a liquid diet for now."

"Ok then" Tom began, familiar mischief in his eyes, "Beer then?"

"I'll see what I can do!"

"See, always come through for me." he replied with a lopsided smile.

"It hasn't all been bad has it? We've had some good times though haven't we?"Doug asked looking for reasurance.

"Yeah!"

"Man, I'll never forget you pulling that shotgun out of your trunk and blowing that squad car away!"

"Oh yeah! Your face was priceless man!" Tom said giving a tired chuckle.

"Hey, we make a good team. Which is why you've gotta hurry up and get outta here. I don't think anyone else can pull off Tommy McQuaids head gear like you can."

"Oh I know noone else can, Doug. Cos I burned it!"

"What did you wanna go do that for?"

"Because the McQuaid's are over, finished. We retired them Doug. We agreed."

"They were fun!"

"Look, unless you want me to go into a self induced coma right now you'll forget the damn McQuaids!"

"Oh but you looked so cute, man"

"Anyway, you can't fit in your outfit anymore. You have put on a few pounds you know Douggie!"

"Well, you haven't looked your best lately either!" Doug said teasing

"I've been a bit under the weather!"

Tom raised his hand best he could and raked it absently through his hair, something he had done subconciously for years. As he did so a slight shadow passed over his face and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Hey you ok?"

"Yeah. Keep talking."

"Hey man, if you want to sleep I can go" When there was no reply Dougs eyes shot up to look at his friend. "Hanson? Hey, Tom, you alright? "

The quiet of the room was broken by the harsh sound of the heart monitor. For a second Penhall was frozen by a mixture of fear, confusion and disbelief. "Tommy, don't do this man, please". Then he bolted from the room into the hallway yelling at the top of his voice. "HELP! WE NEED A DOCTOR IN HERE". Ignoring the paniced and concerned faces of the rest of those who made up Tom Hanson's makeshift family, he dashed after the doctors back into to Tom's room.

A whole team of doctors filed in with crash trolleys and numerous drugs as the others looked on unable to understand what was happening.

"Tom, come on man, please."

"Could you step outside please" one of the doctors said. They stepped out into the corridor and wached through the door as if in a dream as the team of doctors tried desperately to get Tom's heart going again, Doug stared on in horror, while Booker stood with his arms around Judy who was trying to hold back tears. Fuller had hold of Mrs Hanson and was all that was keeping her upright as she watched her only child's life slip away.

"This isn't happening." Doug was saying,"It can't be". Judy gently moved away from Dennis, walked over and gently pulled Doug into her arms. "It can't be" he pleaded turning wide scared eyes to her.

"Come on Tommy!" Booker was saying under his breath as if he could will him to pull through.

After what seemed like an eternity the doctor that had been treating Tom stepped out of the room and taking a deep breath as he walked over to the anxious group the look on his face told them the news was not good.

"What are you doing?" Doug said staring at the doctor in disbelief. "Why are you stopping? Get back in there and help him!" he yelled.

"Doug." Judy said softly as she gently moved him out of the doctors way.

"Mrs Hanson" he said turning to face a distraught Margaret.

"No!" she said shaking her head continually, "Not my Tommy, please!"

"Your son's suffered a massive heamorrage. We did all we could Mrs Hanson, but the internal damage was just too great. I'm so sorry"

Margaret let out a hearbroken wail as she collapsed into Fullers arms. He held her tight as she was wracked with devastated sobs. "Please not my baby!"

"You shut up!" Doug said jabbing his finger at the doctor. "This is bullshit, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Penhall, please!"

Doug pulled himself away from a tearfull Judy Hoffs and stared in disbelief as he walked slowly towards the room where his friend now lay as still as stone. "No. This can't be right. I was just talking to him. He was fine. He was laughing!"

"Doug!" Judy's grief stricken voice said as she came up behind him and once again put her arms around him. "Doug he's gone."

"No, he's not. This is Tom, he can't be." A flood of memories raced through his mind. All the times Tom had helped save his ass, all the arguements and disagreements, all the smiles and laughs they had shared. The awful crushing moment when Tom had been sentenced to life in prison followed by the elation of his release. The time when he had accompanied Doug to El Salvador, risking his life to help Doug find Marta, and how supportive and caring he had been when they discovered the awful truth of her murder. How could all that be over?

"Oh Doug" Judy wailed as she collasped in tears on his shoulder. Her whole frame shook as her grief threatened to completely overcome her. Doug wrapped his arms round her and held her as tightly as he could, as much for himself as for her.

Fuller stood staring in disbelief at the still figure of his youngest officer as he held his mother in his arms. She was hysterical and yet he was incapable of finding any words of comfort as he was lost in his own feelings of grief and denial.

Dennis Booker stood with silent tears falling from his usually indifferent eyes. All of them hoping and praying that this was all some kind of nightmare and that Tom would walk in any second and make some smart ass coment about what idiots they were being. But it was not to be. No matter how hard they wished and prayed, it didn't change the fact that Tom Hanson was dead. Exhausted and spent from fighting for his life he had no strengh remaining, in the end quietly slipping away as he talked with Doug, unaware of anything. Later they would try and comfort Mrs Hanson with this information, but it did nothing to lessen her grief.


	24. Chapter 24

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

Doug stood alone looking down at the still face of his partner and best friend. Mrs Hanson had been led away by Captain Fuller after having to be sedated by the doctor. When she was led into the room and saw the lifeless form of her only child she had gone into hysterics, putting her arms around him so tightly and refusing to let go. Fuller had eventually been able to talk her into letting go of her son, repeating over and over that he wasn't there anymore, reasuring her that he was no longer in any pain.

After this awful scene Doug had been left alone. Judy had gone to call Harry and tell him the awful news, and he would most likely be on his way to join them. Standing there all he could think was that this couldn't be real and going over those last moments and how everything had seemed so normal and they were all so sure everything was going to be ok.

He was roused from his thoughts as Judy entered the room and slipped her hand into his.

"Doug" she said, her own voice, for the sake of her friend, only just controlling the grief that was threatening to burst forward. "They're going to have to take him away soon". He turned bleary eyes to her and nodded silently, making no move to leave the room.

"You know Jude, it's so strange. That looks like Tom lying there, but he's gone. It's like looking at a total stranger."

Looking down at him, Judy couldn't help thinking of how only a few hours earlier she had held him as he slept, listening to the reasuring sound of his breathing. His face still held the same peacful expression it had then , only now the dark lashes stood out even more against the pale face. Only this time those eyes would never open to look back at her. She suddenly had an irrational need to see them again. But if she were to reach and out and open them, she wouldn't see the deep soft brown eyes she had looked into so many times. They would not be the eyes that were capable of expressing thousands of emotions with just a look. They would just stare back at her blank and cold. So instead to turned to Doug and said as gently as she could "That's because he has gone. Doug, come on. Don't remember him like this, he was special and that how he should be remembered."

"We got each other into so much trouble" Doug said, not seeming to hear her. "But he usually managed to get us out. He was always there for me."

"For all of us" Judy added.

"How can someone so good suffer through so much just for it to end like this?"

"I don't know" she replied tearfully.

"Lying under oath to try and keep him out of prison, getting him released, protecting him from all those trigger happy soldiers in El Salvador. How can all that be for nothing?" He said as he turned to face her, his face streaked with tears. "Why do people I love always go away? My parents left me and Dorothy was always leaving me. Then Marta, she was taken from me after only five days together. Then they took my best friend away and shut him prison, Does god hate me or something Jude? Not only does he rip away my family and my wife, but he takes away the closest thing I have to a bother, gives him back only to take him away again."

"It's ok to be angry Doug!"

"I am fucking angry. I just don't know who to be angry at. I'm angry at God for taking him away just when things were starting to mend, I'm angry at the doctors for not being able to save him. God help me, I'm even angry Tom for giving up and leaving us."

"Doug, you know he would never leave us if there was anyway he could stay."

"If I could just get hold of Crane! I'd kill him with my bare hands!" he said, anger and grief threatening to overcome him.

"Doug, please don't" Judy pleaded tears streaming down her own face now. "This won't bring him back."

"I just can't belive this is happening" he said, his voice now barely more than a whisper. He then saw a panic stricken look on Judy's face as two orderlies entered the room.

"Oh god Doug!" she cried as she burried her face in his chest. He pulled her close and held tight to her as she was wracked with sobs.

"I'm sorry." one of the orderlies said, and with one last look at his best friend, the man he considered his brother, Doug led Judy from the room.

After getting Margaret home, Fuller called the only other surviving member of Hanson's family, an aunt living somewhere in Philladelphia, and explained what had happened. When he had been assured the she was on the next flight over and Margaret was out for the rest of the night, for no reason he could think of, he felt an urge to return to Jump Street Chapel. After stepping out of his car he made his way slowly up the stairs. Eventhough the place was empty, you never really felt lonely there, and even so late at night there was an energy about the place you could feel as soon as you stepped through the door. Feeling exhausted and utterly spent, Adam made his way over to the desk where Tom Hanson had sat nearly everday for almost five years. He saw the neatly arranged pencils, all shapened to a perfect point, the stapler and various papers, all positioned at perfect right angles and in the most immaculate piles you would ever see, and smiled dispite his weariness and grief. Looking at the neatly appointed desktop he could almost believe that it's occupant had been sat there only a short time ago and had arranged everything so perfectly ready for the next day, which he supposed five weeks ago he had. This obsessive neatness was in stark contrast to the toy airplane that was perched on top of the neat pile of papers. His eyes caught sight of the familiar poster behind the desk. A child's drawing with the caption "I have aids. Hug me. I can't make you sick." written underneath. This had made an appearence shortly after the death of Harley Poolish and had been a permanent fixture ever since. Fuller smiled as he looked from the desk to the poster and back again. He found these signs of the very different layers of Tom's personality oddly comforting, always so meticulous, almost to the point of being neurotic, not to mention incredibly opinionated with a highly developed, almost blind, sense of right and wrong, and one of the most difficult to read and the most stubborn person he had ever known. But he had also been one of the most loyal, unselfish and caring people he had ever known, who's tendancy for being so proper was always offset by a wicked, if somewhat understated sense of humour. Finally relieved of the burden of worrying for others he felt an imense sense of loss. He had grown incredibly close and extremely fond of his elite team of young officers, and losing Tom had hit him as if it had been Kip he had seen lying there.

Just as he was about to give into his grief, Adam heard a familiar voice from over by the door.

"Captain?"

"Harry. I thought you'd have gone straight to the hospital."

"Tom's not at the hospital." he said. Fuller nodded, understanding Harry's meaning. "For some reason I thought I should be here", Harry finished following Fullers gaze to the "litter" of his friends desk.

"Yeah, I know what you mean" Fuller said with a rueful smile.

"How did this happen captain?"

"You're not an officer anymore Harry. It's Adam." he said trying to smile. "And I don't know. I don't have all the answers, eventhough I like you all to think I do. Terrible things like this happen Harry, there's no reason for them, if there was it wouldn't seem so senseless."

"I was so sure everything was gonna be ok. Why did he have to jump infront of that gun!" Harrry said, his voice touched by hints of anger and grief.

"You're not still blaming yourself are you Harry?" Harry gave a barely noticable shake of his head. "Tom always had to be saving someone Harry, even those for who it was to late" he said gesturing to the AIDS poster behind the desk. "It's who he was. I think he needed that, needed to distract from how much he needed help, how he needed those around him to save him."

"I guess it was too late for Tom too."

"Not from what Doug tells me."

"What do you mean?"

"He told me what you did for Tom, contacting Jack Weaver and Joan Poolish".

"Joan Poolish wasn't my doing Captain." he said with a slight smile. "DId it help?"

"You gave him peace Harry, something no one else had been able to do."

"Do you think things would have turned out differently if we'd done something sooner."

"You can't think like that Harry, if you do you'll drive yourself nuts considering all the what if's. You can't change what's happend. When's your flight to Vietnam?"

"I don't know yet. I was going to go tomorrow before all this happened, now I kinda wanna stay for the funeral." Harry turned his eyes towards the ceiling, "God, I never thought I'd be going to Tom's funeral, out of all of us I could've sworn he'd live forever."

"Harry" Fuller said, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder, "Go to the funeral, say goodbye to him and go on with your life."

"I can't just go home, carry on with my life and forget about him Captain, I owe him more than that." Fuller smiled at Harry's loyalty and inability to be able to stop referring to him as captain.

"I didn't tell you to forget him. Harry, he saved your life, the best way for you to remember him is to live it, and make it a good one."

"I'll try my best Captain." Harry said offering his hand. Instead of taking it Fuller pulled him into a hug.

"It's been an honour to know you Harry" he said, "I'm going to miss you"

"Yeah, me to sir. I'm gonna take off, I'm meant to be meeting Judy, this has hit her pretty hard, you gonna come?"

"No. I think I'm going to stay here awhile".

"Ok. I'll see you Adam." he said giving Fuller a sad smile before heading out of the Chapel. After Harry had gone Fuller walked into his office and sat at his own desk. As he looked around the room he had so many memories running through his mind. The time Hanson had reported for duty with a hangover after stepping in to break up a hazing task the night before and had consequently spent the morning lying on Fullers couch with a wet cloth over his eyes. All the times Fuller had meant to chew him out over something, but had been unable to after Tom had given him that look you just couldn't stay mad at. A smile came across his face as he remembered the time Tom and Doug had first introduced him to the McQuaid brothers, and had looked at thier outfits in disbelief. That smile suddenly vanished however as he heard the echos of a conversation he had had with Tom in this very room over three years ago after he had been suspended for drag racing.

_"I'm tired of putting my ass on the line for complete strangers!" _he heard Tom's voice echo through the room,_ "If they wanna do drugs, fine! If they wanna crack up at a hundred miles an hour, fine" Maybe someday i'll wanna get married, have a kid. I just don't wanna miss anything."_

Of course, now he would never get the chance to do any of those things. He had continued to risk his life for another three years, and now he was dead, barely 25 years old and he was gone. He had come into this office later the same year asking Adam if he believed in god, and had told him yes, if he were here to ask that question now, Adam wasn't so sure he'd be able to give him that same answer. With these thoughts running through his mind, Adam Fuller rested his head in his hands and in the confines of his office gave into his grief and cried silent tears for his lost officer and friend, and decided it was time he made good on that promise he made.


	25. Chapter 25

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

Tom Hanson's funeral was to be held two weeks later, after a postmortem and inquest. Following his death, Doug had yet to set foot back in the Chapel, afraid of what it would mean to walk in there and have the events of the past few days become real. Instead he stayed shut in his apartment devoting all his time to Clavo. This morning though, after taking the boy to day care, there was a soft tap on the door. Letting out a heavy sigh he opened the door and found himself looking down into a familiar pair of brown eyes, so much like her son's, these of course belonged to Margaret Hanson.

"Hi Doug" she said smiling weakly.

"Mrs H!."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure!" he replied a little surprised to see her as he stepped aside to let her in.

"I came to talk to you about the funeral. I've arranged to have him burried by his dad." she said a distant look in her eyes.

"Is there anything you need? I'd like to be able to help."

"Well, actually, that's what I came to talk to you about. You were Tom's closest friend, and I'd like it if you could say a few words at the service."

"Me? Are you sure?"

"I think he'd be proud to have you stand up there"

"Well, I'd be proud to stand up there for him, and if there's anything else, you know, just ask."

"Just do my boy justice up there" she said looking up at him.

"Oh, I , er, had his jacket cleaned" Doug said going to pick it up from the back of the couch. He'd had it cleaned the day before intending to give it to her, thinking it wouldn't be appropriate giving her back her son's jacket still coated in his blood. Although now there was no trace left on it, Doug could still see dark stains whenever he looked at it. She smiled as she took it from him.

"Thank you" she said as she ran her hands over the surface of the brown leather. As she turned it over in her hands the contents of the inner pocket spilled out onto the floor. Margaret and Doug looked at each other with matching looks of anxiety before Doug bent down to retrieve the small pile on the floor. The items he picked up were so typically Tom that they couldn't surpress a smile. Doug looked down at the small leather case containing his partners badge, the keys to the blue Mustang that had been parked outside Dougs appartment for six weeks, half a packet of gum and an eight week old ticket from the local bowling alley. Somehow the packet of gum hit Doug harder than anything else had over the past few days. The idea that Tom would never finish the packet brought the reality of his death home to him. Holding his emotions in check he handed them to Margaret who stilfled a sob as she took them. She opened the wallet containing her son's badge and looked at the I.D long and hard before handing it back to Doug.

"I think you should keep this." she said looking at him with watery eyes.

"I can't"

"You were his partner, you should have it. Besides, it may have meant the world to Tommy, but to me it would just be a reminder of how the institution put together to protect us took my husband and my baby from me" she said fighting back tears. "25 years old. It's no age at all really is it?"

"Thank you!" Doug said as he put his arms around his friends distraught mother.

"He was lucky to have you Doug."

"Yeah well, I was lucky too."

"Booker" he answered as he picked up the phone on his desk.

"Dennis, it's Fuller. I need your help."

"What do you need?"

"How do you feel about doing one last favour for an old friend?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Revenge. Get Harry and meet me and Hoffs at Penhalls."

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"Something that should have been done along time ago Dennis. See you in half an hour."

"You got it. Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"Dispite everything, you know, I am truly sorry about Tommy."

"I know. Half an hour." With that the line went dead. Booker sat staring blankly at the phone, so many conflicting emotions running through him. He wanted to be with his former partners and share in their grief, because in the end he had come to respect, and even like Tom Hanson. But because of all that had happend while he was still working out of the Chapel he felt like a hyopcrite, that he had no right to feel this way when the others who had known him and been close to him for all these years were in so much pain. He could even hear it in Fullers voice. But he had been given a chance to help and he wasn't going to pass it up. So with determined steps he made his way out to his car and Harry's place.

"What's this about Captain?" Judy asked as they all gathered outside Penhalls appartment a short time later.

"I'll tell you when we're all together" he answered, rapping loudly on the door, which Doug answered shortly after, to see the crowd gathered outside.

"Hey. What are you all doing here."

"We need your help." Harry said as they pushed their way in.

"Sit down why don't you" Doug said sarcastically. "What's this about?"

"Crane!" Booker answered, instantly getting Dougs undivided attention.

"The post mortem report came back this morning." Fuller told them all. "The findings are that the injuries sustained from the bullet wounds, and the resulting coma were responsible for causing the heamorrage. We can bring a murder charge against Crane, make sure he never sees this side of a jail cell as long as he lives."

"So what's that got to do with us. We're witnesses aren't we?" Judy asked.

"Exactly. We can make sure this murder charge sticks. As far as anyone outside this room is concerned Crane fired first, the bullets from the other gun were fired in self defense. We've got to make sure it stays that way."

"You giving us permission to lie Captain?" Doug asked, uncharacteristically serious.

"It's more than that Doug. I'm ordering you to. Not only has he taken someone we all loved from us, but he has ruined countless other lives. We've got a chance to get him on at least four murder charges and I don't know about you guys, but I don't think 15 years is long enough for what he has done."

"So what do we do?" Harry said.

"We get our stories straight, make sure there is no way Crane can wriggle out of this one. I'm not letting him get away with killing my boy."

"I want to see him." Doug said suddenly.

"Doug." Judy said, "What good could possibly come from this?"

"I'd get to watch as that smug self satisfied smile is wiped from his face."

"Well, I'll be there with you" Fuller spoke up.

"Me too!" Harry and Booker said in unison.

As Raymond Crane was led into the visiting room he was confronted by five tired, drawn, yet deadly serious faces. Fuller, Penhall, Ioki, Hoffs and Booker were all sat on the other side of the wide table, and if looks could kill Crane would have been dead ten times over.

"What can I do for you officers?" he said, smug look spread across his face.

"You can rot in hell!" Doug spat, barely able to keep from flying at Crane and ripping his throat out.

"Doug!" Fuller said in warning, "Leave this to us."

"To what do I owe this honour?"

"Cut the bullshit Crane. I think you have a pretty good idea why we're here. You're up on four murder charges Raymond, you're looking at 30 years, at least!"

"Four?" Crane said with a raise of his eyebrows. "Oh dear! Did little Tommy not make it?" he asked looking over at Penhall.

"Don't you dare say his name!" Doug said through gritted teeth.

"I take it from Officer Penhall's reaction that that's a yes." Crane said looking Doug square in the eye. "He shot at me, I can plead self defense."

"That's not what I saw." Dennis put in. "The way I saw it you shot at Officer Hanson trying to escape arrest."

"Yeah, I saw that too" Harry added.

"That's what it looked like from where I was standing" said Judy, backing the others.

"That mad man shot at me and threatened me with a gun on numerous occaisions. You think they're really going to dismiss a self defense plea?"

"Your word against ours Crane." Fuller said. "And that mad man just happened to be someone we all love very much. You picked the wrong guy this time Crane, cos this time we're going to make you stay down. You killed my boy Crane, and I will make sure you pay for it."

"That's not what happened!I wasn't even shooting at him" Crane said as they all stood to leave, a touch of desperation in his voice.

"Well, there's five witnesses who say different." Booker said.

"Five witnesses who just happen to be cops" Harry continued.

"Who do you think they're going to believe? Anyway, I don't think 'sorry your honour shot the wrong guy' is gonna make a plausable defense" Dennis finished. With one last look at Crane, with Dennis and Fuller each with a restraining arm on Doug, they left the room, leaving Crane shouting and cursing.

"What do you think will happen to him Captain?" Doug asked as they walked through the prison hallways.

"What he deserves I hope."Fuller answered.

"Will we all have to testify?"Harry joined in.

"We're the arresting officers Harry. Maybe."

Judy walked behind with Booker. Watching him in that room, so calm, in control, speaking in that low voice that was so unlike him was like watching someone else. She looked over at him and smiled.

"What is it?" he asked

"You did really well in there."

"Yeah?"

"You know Booker, you and Hanson were more alike than you realise."

"I'll take that as a complement shall I?"

"Definately!"

"You miss him don't you?"

"More than I thought possible." she said tears threatening once again. "I kissed him you know Dennis, before everything happened."

Dennis turned surprised eyes on her. "You and Hanson?. Was there anything to it?"

"I don't know. I guess now I never will. All I know is that when I think about the fact that I'm never going to see him again I feel so sick."

"Hey!" he said putting a comforting arm around her, "It's ok to be upset, whatever way, you loved the guy."

"We all did" she said gesturing to the three men walking before them. "God, I'd do anything to have him back!" Dennis put his arm around her and led her out of the building after his former partners and comanding officer.


	26. Chapter 26

**I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)**

The day of the funeral turned out to be sunny yet cold. Doug looked around at all the faces gathered around the freshly dug grave. Mrs Hanson, of course, looking old and tired next to Captain Fuller and Briody, who of course had been at the older Thomas Hanson's funeral nine years ago, Judy and Harry stood together with thier arms around each other, Dennis stood slightly apart from the group, ashen faced. Sal Banducci stood with the others from Jump Street, with his wife Rosa and their children. He noticed Russell Buckins and his wife Louise at the back of the crowd, both with bloodshot tearful eyes. Diane Nelson and her sister were also there to pay thier repsects to the man who had helped them when they needed it most, as was Joan Poolish. Tom's bowling team were there of course, and to his surprise Jackie Garrett stood right at the back, her eyes covered with ovesized sunglasses. Doug himself stood with his partners with Clavo holding tight to his hand. He couldn't help thinking how unfair that this small group was all there was to show for his best friends all too short life and how sad that there was no one special to greive for him. He thought how much Tom had greived for Amy Pearson and how he had missed Linda McHugh, and it seemed wrong that there was nobody to feel that for him. These thoughts made him suddenly angry that Jackie had turned up.

"Doug, soy cold!" Clavo said quietly, bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Shh, gotta stay quiet buddy" Doug said kindly, squeezing the little boy's hand.

"Will Tommy be cold?" he asked innocently. Doug smiled down fondly his boy and lifted him up.

"No pal, Tommy's not cold." Clavo put his small arms tightly around his uncles neck as they listened to the priests words as they drifted across the graveyard. Doug didn't hear the words, he simply let them wash over him as his thoughts drifted away as he saw the older grave beside the fresh one. A whole family, wiped out, and so unnecessarily too. Both had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it had permenantly altered the course of thier lives.

Judy felt sick as she stared at the coffin suspended over the grave. She hated to see it but she couldn't tear her eyes away. She just moved closer to Harry and he held her tighter. She looked at him through her tear flooded eyes and smiled, grateful for the comfort.

Harry was relieved to have Judy to concerntrate on, it gave him the opportunity to ignore his own grief for a while. He also rather selfishly liked that he had her to himself. He had decided he was flying to Vietnam the day after and was pleased to be able to have this chance to just have her close while he still could.

Fuller stayed close to Mrs Hanson, offering all the support he could and all but holding her up. As he listened to the priest talking about the unfairness and senselessness of the death of someone so young and so loved with their whole lives ahead of them all he could think of was the strange little toys and gadgets that Tom used to always have lying around. He smiled to himself as he tried to remember when these had started to disappear and where they may have disappeared to. He was wrenched back into reality however as he heard Dougs name called out and saw the younger officer making his way towards where the priest was standing.

He stood before the small crowd, nervously wringing his hands, his eyes darting first to Fuller and then to Harry, looking for reassurance.

"I've spent the past few days trying to think of the right words to say, and I still have no idea." he said apollogetically."I mean how do you sum up your best friend and brother and what he meant to us all in a few words. You can't. Especially not someone like Tom. In the end I just decided to say just what I felt. He was so many things it's hard to know where to start. Well, he was an extremely dedicated cop. Not that he always followed the rules, Captain Fuller can vouch for that. But he's always done what he belived to be the right thing, and eventhough he often thought that nothing he did made a difference, I think all of you being here today shows that's not the case. He would always be the one to help the lost cause, the one everyone gave up on, and most of the time came out better for it.

After loosing his father he's taken care of Mrs H, looking out for her, supporting her, making his incredibly wonderful freinds move her house for her, and then back again days later."

he said raising a fond yet embarassed chuckle from Margaret.

"I think it's safe to say you can be proud of the man you raised Mrs H. It's tough for a kid to have to grow up so fast and take on all that responsibiltity. But he did it and never complained. Well, so I'm told, not that I belive that for a second, after all I know him too well", he said with a smile. "I think that had a great deal to do with who he is. He regressed after meeting me though! He's the most infuriatingly perfect partner. Always so tidy and proper. Jesus, I had to shoot him in the ass to get him to even shout at me. But then he's never been one to show his feelings. Not that he's cold, far from it. Those of us who know Tom know him to be one of the most compasionate people you will ever meet.

For me, however, he's simply my best friend. The guy I trusted my life to for almost five years. Wasn't always easy, I'm not the easiest guy to have around. But whenever I needed him he's been there, forgiving me all my screw ups, even the ass shooting incident. He seemed more annoyed that I'd sharpened his pencils. What's with that Hanson?" he said doing his best to smile as he directed this remark in the direction of the coffin, trying to picture his friend standing there instead of the box. "He's always been a loyal and caring friend, anything you needed from him he'd give you if he could. He'd put his life on the line for those he cared about, literally as it turns out."He gave Harry a small comforting smile, hoping it told him he held him in no way responsible.

"For years he's been more a brother to me than my own kid brother, shorter though, and I hope in someway I've been able to pay him back somehow. Not that he didn't have his problems, but you know bowlings a sickness. We tried to get him help but..." he said comically shrugging his shoulders. A small giggle rose from the assembled group.

"Aside from that major flaw, he was one of the best people I've ever known. I'm afraid I have to ask his forgiveness know though. You see this is the last thing I'm going to be able to do for him and I'm letting him down." he said with a small smile. "I promised him I'd always keep this a secret, but some things have to be said. So Tom, I'm sorry man but in front of all these witnesses, I love you man, and I'm gonna miss you." He was trying his best to hold back the threatening tears, hoping he could finish first, and he nearly managed it. "So goodbye partner, sleep well." he said before slowly stepping down as the tear stained face of Margeret Hanson smiled up at him.

"That was a lovely speech Penhall" came the voice of Jackie Garrett.

"What are you doing here Jackie?" he said quietly and calmly.

"Saying goodbye to Tom!" she said slightly taken aback.

"Making sure he's gone more like"

"Hey! I cared about him. A lot. He ended it remember. If he hadn't have been so pigheaded and proud who knows!"

"You really think it was about you ratting him out! That just proves it would never have worked out. Sure he was angry that you betrayed his trust, he was upset Fuller was suspended as a result. But do you know what he was most hurt about?"

"What?" she asked softly.

"Tad Davies! If we had've busted him when we had planned to he wouldn't have been able to OD and he would still be here. That's why he couldn't forgive you!" He gave her one last look before walking away leaving her alone with her thoughts.

He spotted Mrs Hanson standing alone by the graves of her family. Thinking she shouldn't be alone he hurried over to her. She barely acknowledged him as he joined her, just continued staring at the graves.

"That's my entire family" she said quietly. "Tommy was the last one, there's not gonna be anymore."

Doug followed her gaze to the older of the two headstones and read the inscription.

Thomas Hanson

12th September 1940 - 14th February 1981

Beloved husband and father

"I had a miscarrage a couple of years before he was born. Tom and I were told we could never have anymore children. Tommy was my miracle, now he's gone."

"He was named after his dad? I didn't know that, he never told me".

"Well we weren't really very imaginative when it came to boys names. I was sure I was having a girl you see." She turned and smiled at him. "You did him proud Doug, thank you."

Clavo came running up from where he had been standing with Judy and Harry. "Hey you four footer!" Doug said as he lifted him onto his back. "Ready to go?" he asked Margeret.

"No. I'm going to stay here a little while. Don't worry I'll be fine, go home."

"You sure?"

"Yes, really." she smiled warmly at Clavo and said " As long as you and your Uncle Doug come and see me soon ok." Clavo smiled and nodded. Then she turned to Doug, her eyes deadly serious and said, "He's a lovely boy Doug. Think very hard about the future. The policeforce destroyed my family, don't let it hurt yours yeah?"

Doug smiled warmly at her, nodded and left her in peace. As he walked away he was met by a very tired looking Adam Fuller.

"How you holding up Doug?"

"I'm ok" he replied quietly

"Doug I've got some news about Crane." he said cautiously. He wasn't sure this was the most appropriate time to bring up the subject but he thought Doug and the others should know, and he wanted to tell Penhall first. The younger officers eyes fixed on his captain signaling for him to continue.

"The DA's office called me earlier. Cranes sentence was passed down this morning" Crane had been charged with three murders, four counts of conspiracy to murder and five counts of kidnapping and serious assault. Found guilty on all charges. All the remaining Jump Street team had been there to give evidence, not one of them able to stomach looking at the man in the dock. It had been hard on all of them to relive the past few weeks.

"He's been given another ten years for the kidnap, assault and conspiracy charges" Fuller continued.

"And the murder charge?" Doug asked coldly. Fuller looked at Doug's seemingly calm face, inhaled deeply and looked back at him, his eyes deadly serious and somber and told him straight out.

"He's getting the needle".

Doug simply nodded and said "Thanks Captain" before carrying Clavo to his waiting car, leaving Fuller watching after him.

That night Judy sat alone at the conference table in Jump Street Chapel listening to the silence. For the first time since everything had happened she had the chance to think things over and get events straight in her head. It still didn't seem real, even when she had watched the coffin been lowered into the ground it still felt like some nightmare that she was going to wake up from any minute. Now Harry was going too, and although he promised he would see them again it would never be the same. Two of the people she loved most in the world we're being taken from her. As tears once again began to threaten she was startled by the sound of footsteps running up the metal stairs outside the building. As she turned to see who was coming Harry stepped through the door. Their eyes met and they smiled warmly at each other.

"Hey."

"You all packed and ready to go?"

"Almost. You ok?" Harry said walking up and hugging her.

"Not really. Everyone's leaving."

"You ever need anything you call me right. I'll be on the nexr flight over."

"Right back at you. I still can't belive you're not going to be here tomorrow."

"Judy, please. It's something I've gotta do."

"Do you want us to come to the airport with you?"

"No. I'd rather just go. Anyway, it's not like you're not gonna see me again. I'm quitting the force, I'm not quitting you guys."

"You just take care of yourself Harry and be happy."

"I'll do my best" he said smiling."You felt you should be here too huh?"

"It seemed appropriate. We have so many good memories here." she answered looking around

"Yeah we do" he said running his hand over the surface of the old table and smiling when he found the scratch marks made by Blowfish's guinea pig the time they had tried to race him. "Won alot of money here too" he said with a wink.

"You hustled them Harry admit it!"

"Never!"

"She's right Iok!" came Dougs voice as he joined them along with Blowfish, who he had found hanging around in the parking lot. "No one has beginners luck for three years!"

"I had to close my football pools cos you bankrupted me!" Sal said with mock disgust.

"Gambling's illeagal guys, you're all under arrest!"

"Come on Captain! Let us go. First offense and all!"

"That won't wash this time Penhall" Fuller said with a grin.

Judy sat watching the four men and thinking of one valentines day years ago when she had walked into the chapel after escaping a disasterous date and stumbled upon the rest of her team playing various incarnations of poker. She looked up at the others and her face brightened as she said, "Hey, lets have one last game, all of us together."

Doug, Blowfish and Harry all grinned at her, mischief in their tired eyes.

"Can't think of a better way to say goodbye to Tommy!" came Bookers voice as he entered the room. Doug walked over and offered Dennis his hand. They smiled at each other as they walked back to the table and took thier seats. Fuller felt a twinge of sadness as he looked at the faces surrounding him, painfully aware of one of the groups absense.

As they played and talked happily together, they turned to talking fondly of old times and swapping stories. Booker was shocked and amused to hear Penhall's story of the time they had been forced to help the FBI protect a kid in the witness protection programme.

"So we're crouched behind Hoff's car right. Guns being brandished everywhere you turn, cos you know, mob hitmen. Anyway Hanson and Iokage come running up wanting to know where Jake was. Before you know it he's shooting at us and jumping into a balck and white. He's not stopping for anyone, not us, not the Feds, he's just afer Frank Hartman. So Tom runs back to his car opens the trunk and pulls out this huge shotgun. I didn't even know he had anything like that. So this guy is driving his car straight at us, Tom shoots his tyres out with the shotgun and the car does this massive backflip, shoots over our heads and ends up spinning on it's roof about 30 feet away. Tom just shoulders the gun, looks at me, shrugs his shoulders and says 'That's the way Jake would've done it."

"Tom Hanson did that?" Booker said in awe. "I wish id've known that sooner. We'd have been best buddies."

"Knew right there and then there was some reason I liked the guy" Doug said with a smile.

"Hell we loved him!" Harry added. "Although I never thought I could love a bowler"

"I never thought I could love someone who said slamerino!" Doug said, raising a laugh from everyone around the table.

"Always a perfect gentleman though" Judy said winking at Doug "And you owe me $20.Full House!" she said and she spread her cards out on the table. This was followed by numerous groans as the rest threw their own cards down in disgust.

"Hey don't let that chiorboy exterior fool you. I could tell you things about Tom Hanson that would shock and appal!" he replied.

"Like what!" Harry asked, disbeliving but no less intrigued. "Five card draw, sevens and jacks are wild."

"I'm in! Well, when me and Dorothy got back together the last time she was making me jump through hoops, you know, prove I loved her and all. Anyway, she had this friend that was a little down, depressed and stuff, and she wanted me to fix her up with someone and go on a double date. Well who else was I gonna ask? Hanson would never have said no, well he always said no but we both knew he caved everytime. So Tom reluctantly agrees and we meet them at this restatuant after we finished here." Doug smiled, a hint of sadness in his hazel eyes.

_So we walk into the restaraunt, it was one of these ridiculously upscale places that make you feel totally out of your depth. Anyway, we walk in and Dorothy is standing there with the biggest woman you will ever see. I mean she was huge, twice the size of Tom, she could have passed for a Russian shot putter. I'm talking a mountIan here. So Tom takes one look and spins round to march out of the place._

_"Hey, where you going. You can't leave me here!"_

_"I can't believe I let you talk me into this!"_

_"She's not that bad!"_

_"Not that bad! Doug, you've set me up on a date with Godzilla!"_

_"Look, all you've gotta do is sit and make polite conversation while we eat."_

_"She looks like she could eat me."_

_"Give her a chance, she might be nice"_

_So he gives me that look, you know the one that makes you feel like the worlds biggest asshole?_

_Oh yeah, I hate that look._

_Makes you feel this big?_

_Yeah, I've seen that one_

_Yeah, anyway, I was spared cos Dorothy and the mountain spots us and they start making their way over. Tom makes a last attempt to run for it, but I grab his arm and stop him._

_"I hate you!"_

_"No you don't. That's why you're here! Hi Dorothy"_

_"You're late Douggie!"_

_"Sorry."_

_"Nevermind. Christine, this my Douggie."_

_"Hey!"_

_"Hello"_

_"And this is Tom Hanson, he works with Doug. Tom, this is Christine Linski!"_

_"Hi Tom"_

_"Yeah, nice to meet you"_

_You just know as soon as he heard her last name he was trying desperately not to laugh!_

_Russian! Figures_

_Always the charmer huh Dennis?_

_Admit it Judy, I'm irresistable!_

_Just let Doug carry on with his story_

_Thanks Captain_

_Anyway we make it through drinks and appitizers with no disasters. Everyones being polite and Dorothy is even having a night off from making my life hell. I start thinking this might not be so bad. Wrong. Christine mentions that she'd planned on going to see this play and Dorothy puts her evil plan into action!._

_"I would love to go see that with you. How about thursday night?"_

_"Yeah, great!"_

_"Oh no I forgot. Me and Doug promised to go have dinner with my parents thursday night."_

_"When was this decided?"_

_"I told you last night Doug" and then she gets me in the shins with her evil pointy shoes. "Hey maybe Tom could go with you?" _

_"Er...Thursday's my bowling night. Sorry."_

_"I thought it was fridays!" And my other shin gets it! I knew I should have made him change his boots. "It was but they had to change it because of...er...shoe shortages"_

_Shoe Shortages?_

_I know Harry, you'd have thought he'd learned at least something from me over the years._

_"Really" At this point Christine's trying to act interested. You've gotta admire the girl. I mean anyone who can fake interest in bowling deserves some credit right!_

_"Yeah. With all the teams playing on one night... they didn't... have enough shoes. So they split it into seperate days. We got thursday" _

_She bought that?_

_Oh yeah!_

_So awkward situation averted, for now. We're waiting for the main course when Christine starts flirting rather shamelessly, even if i do say so myself. And she must have been playing footsie or something cos Tom's wrigling uncomfortably in his seat. Next thing I know she winks at him and he shoots to his feet making some lame excuse like..._

_"Sorry, exscuse me a minute, wine goes right through me." gives us all that sheepish grin and disappears. So I'm left sat there with both of them and Dorothy keeps looking at me like she's gonna kill me and all i can do is to keep saying stuff like "I'm sure he wont be too much longer."_

_So after fifteen minutes there's still no sign of Tom, so Dorothy 'suggests' that I go and check on him. I get to the bathroom right, and there's no sign of Hanson. The only sign he was actually in there was the open window he'd crawled out of while I was stuck trying to entertain two very disgruntled females and the empty space in the parking lot where his car wasn't. Needless to say Dorothy wasn't impressed. I mean, how fair is that, Tom runs out on one of her best friends and I'm the one who has to walk home and spends the night on the couch!"_

The sound of their laughter filled the chapel, and suddenly the whole building seemed so much wamer.

"Serves you right Doug. Poor Hanson!" Jude said laughing

"Not such a boy scout after all!" Booker said, a grin on his face.

"Hey, If you'd have seen her you'd have run too!"

Harry looked around the table at the faces of his friends, he felt truly happy for the first time in weeks, but it was tinged with sadness and regret that his friend was no longer with them and that soon he would be leaving them too. Smiling softly he raised his glass and said "To Tom!"

"Tom!" Blowfish, Judy and Fuller chimed

"To Tommy!" added Booker before Doug joined in raising his glass and saying somewhat sadly

"To Tom. And to Harry" he said smiling over at Ioki. "May you both find peace".

_County Maximun Security Prison_

_Raymond Crane was led across the room to the cot in the centre. He was strapped down securely and he stared blankly at the ceiling as the lines were inserted into his viens. He payed no attention to the voice of the man stood beside him as he announced the sentence._

_"Raymond Crane you have been found guilty of the murders of Matt Anderton, Peter McCoy, James Parry and Thomas Hanson. For these crimes you have been sentenced to be put to death by leathal injection. You may make a statement at this time."_

_Crane said nothing and showed no sign that he acknowledged the presence of any other person in the room. The last thing he saw before his eyes finally closed was the crack in the ceiling he had been tracing with his eyes._

_In a fisrt floor appartment across the other side of the city Doug Penhall awoke in a cold sweat._

**Thanks for all the amazing reviews. I've never written anything before and I didn't expect such a response. Thanks all :0) One more chapter then I'm done **


	27. Chapter 27

_Three months later_

Fuller stood in the doorway to his office, a bittersweet smile playing on his lips as he watched Judy and Doug, their heads bent close together reading the latest letter from Harry. These letters had started off as thousand page novels, but over the past few weeks they had got progressively shorter. He supposed that had to be a good thing. Showed Harry was getting on with his life. His stomach churned as he watched their faces light up as their eyes passed over the pages. The last few months had been hard on these two and he felt bad that he would have to cause anymore upset but he had put this conversation off for as long as he could. "Life goes on after all, unfair as it seems" he thought sadly as he screwed up his courage.

"Doug!" he called, trying to sound as neutral as possible, "Can I see you for a minute?"

"Sure Captain. What is it?"

"In my office please."

"Whoops! What's he done this time Captain?" Hoffs said with a wink.

"None of your business Judith" Fuller said smiling as he turned to follow Doug. Once in his office he motioned for Doug to take a seat. He sat down opposite him, took one look into the young officer's face and decided he would feel better standing.

"Something wrong captain?" Doug asked noticing his commanding officer's unease.

"Sort of. I need to talk to you Doug."

"Sure. What about?" he asked warily.

"How's the situation with getting sitters for Clavo?"

"You know I got that sorted, I told you." Doug said puzzled.

"She working out ok?"

"Yeah. Look captain, I know you didn't bring me in here to play social worker. What is this about?"

"Ok!" he said taking a deep breath. "I've put this off as long as I can Doug, and believe me I'm not any happier about saying this than you will be hearing it. I guess the best way would be to just come out and say it. Doug you're one of my most experienced and effective operatives and it doesn't make sense for you to be on desk duty any longer." He took another deep breath and looked back at the young man sitting before him. "I'm asigning Garrett as your partner."

Doug looked at him with a mixture of shock, anger, disappointment, sadness and betrayl. He couldn't believe he was hearing this. Asigning him a new partner!

"You're what!" he said, his voice shaking.

"Doug, I need someone to really show him the ropes, they're making this kid as easy as coffee, and you did bring him in" Fuller said, trying to justify his decision whilst feeling like the lowest lifeform on the planet under his officer's gaze.

"You're replacing Hanson?" Doug's voice began to rise.

"No!" he said calmly but firmly. "I could never do that. But..."

"Don't you dare say life goes on!" Doug said, anger threatening to explode any second. "I can't believe this. He's only been gone three months and you're already trying to replace him. Well let me tell you, captain, no one is taking his place!"

"Look Penhall! I know you don't want to hear this, and I know it seems cold, but life does go on, for me, you, Judy, Harry, _Clavo_" he said, putting the emphasis on Dougs little boy.

"Yeah, but not for Tom" Doug interrupted, "Not that anyone else seems to care!"

"Stop right there Doug!" Fuller said, his anger now matching the younger cop's. "You aren't the only one who's lost Tom. We all loved him Doug and believe me I will never forget him, and there's nothing I would like better than to send the McQuaid brothers out there again,but I can't, he's dead" he said coming and putting a comforting hand on Doug's shoulder. "He isn't gone, he's dead. There's nothing we can do to bring him back, and refusing to accept that certainly won't. Look, I know how much he meant to you, he meant alot to all of us, but maybe it's time you let Tom go." he said kindly.

"How can I?" he said turning to look at Fuller. "How can I accept this when I don't understand why?"

"There is no reason for it Doug. I wish I could give you one."

"Now I've got Judy in bits and I don't know if I can tell her what she wants to hear, and I have noone to tell me what to do. I've got Clavo asking why he can't see Tom any more. Harry may as well be on the other side of the world and..." he stopped abruptly taking a deep breath, "I can't even mourn for my best friend. I don't feel anything but anger because when I think about him all I see is what that bastard did to him. He was getting better captain. I just keep thinking over those last minutes. He was right there talking to me, awake and aware of everything going on around him, laughing and joking. The next those monitors were going off, and before I knew what was happening that doctor came out and told us he was gone. It just doesn't seem real, that after fighting through all that he could just give up."

"It's real." Fuller said gently "And in time those memories will fade and the good ones will only get stronger."

"You'd think loosing people would get easier. It doesn't does it?"

"No, if anything Doug, it gets harder. It's not meant to get easier. If it ever get's easy Doug, that's the time to worry" he said as he sat on the corner of his desk facing Penhall. "This is just business you know Doug. I'm not replacing Tom". Doug stood and nodded his head slightly before heading for the door. "You ok?" Fuller asked before he left the room.

"Yeah." he said shortly.

"Time to say goodbye Doug". He simply turned his gaze on Fuller, smiled faintly and closed the door behind him. "Say goodbye" Doug thought, "Must be nice to see things so clearly." he thought bitterly although he had noticed that the desk next to Judy's was still unoccupied. As Doug walked towards his desk he passed the unoccupied one that sat a little distance away from Hoffs. The drawers had been emptied and all the contents had been handed over to Margaret Hanson, but the surface of the desk was still just the way it had been over four months ago when it had last been used. He stopped and looked at it, noticing with some sadness the dust that had gathered over the desktop and the items neatly arranged across it. Hoffs sat at her desk watching with anxiety as she saw Dean Garrett making his way over to talk to the older undercover cop. Judy herself could still not get used the the empty desk beside her, anymore than she had been able to accept the new occupant of the desk that had been Harry's. It still brought a lump to her throat when she realised they weren't there.

"Hey Penhall" he said cheerfully, making the observing Judy Hoffs wince. "I hear we're gonna be teaming up again!"

"Hmmm.." Doug said simply, without looking at him. To Judy's relief, Doug turned from the desk and the young rookie. He decided he had to go somewhere and headed out of the chapel.

"What did I do?" Garrett asked looking towards Judy.

"It's not you." she said kindly, "Don't worry. He's a good guy, he'll come round".

A lone figure stood before two neighbouring graves, his eyes fixed on the more recent headstone. His intent gaze tracing the words written on it over and over.

Thomas C Hanson

1965 - 1990

"Sorry I haven't been by." Doug said, feeling slightly odd talking to a stone. All logic told him that Tom wasn't there and it didn't matter to him how often he'd been by. Graves were for the living, not the dead. Something for the ones left behind to help in their grieving. But since when did the heart ever listen to logic. Something told him that he should be there. He hadn't been back here since the funeral. He noticed the fresh flowers on the grave Mrs Hanson must have put there and felt oddly comforted by this, thinking that at least his friend hadn't been alone. The grass had grown quickly this summer and looking at it he could no longer tell where the grave had been dug. Only the headstone marked the place where his best friend now rested.

"Been busy you know. Desk duty is real demanding." he said sarcasticly. "The place just isn't the same without you whining anyhow. Harry's doing real well, he seems happy, writes all the time. Sounds like his grandmother's taking care of him more than he is of her. He mentions thier neighbours daughter a bit too often for my liking." he said smiling to himself. "Listen to me, I'm rambling like an idiot, I don't even know what I'm doing! Funny isn't it, I talked to you nearly all day everyday for nearly five years and now I can't think of anything to say. You're probably relived not to have to listen to me anymore huh?" he said with a slight smile. "God, I miss you man. Why did you have to always be the hero?" he continued suddenly feeling inexplicably angry. "Couldn't you have just this once let someone else do it. There's SWAT teams and hostage negotiators for stuff like that, why did it have to be you? Didn't you think I'd had enough people I care about disappear? Or did you want to die, is that it? What am I meant to do without you? We were brothers man, how could you just quit on your brother?". He stopped his tiraid and looked up, eyes once again followed the words on the gravestone. "It's not like you can tell me now though is it! I'm sorry Tom. I know you were doing what you thought was for the best, to help Harry. I'm sorry for being angry, sorry for being such a pain in the ass to everyone these last few months, and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you this time Tom. I wish there was something somebody could have done. You didn't deserve this. After all the five of us have been through we should all be leading happy, simple lives, you most of all, not this. Where did it all go so wrong?" he said reaching out to rest his hand on the top of the headstone but pulling back at the last second. After looking over at the grave of the older Thomas Hanson, he turned back to the one where his best friend had been laid to rest. "She was right you know, he would have been proud of you, man, and I promise, as long as me, Fuller and Jude are around we'll make sure Mrs H is looked after. She's watching Clavo for me actually, little guy's really taken to her." He gestured towards the flowers that had been placed on the grave, smiled slighly and said, "I didn't bring any, didn't think it was appropriate, you know, wrong impression and everything. I have a reputation to uphold you know. God, this is wierd. I wish I knew if you could hear me. There's so many things left unanswered. Booker said Judy's really hurting, and I don't know what to tell her. I don't whether the truth would make it any easier for her. If I show her this, she'll always wonder what could've been. Is that worse than leaving her in the dark. I'm lost here buddy, I need you to tell me what to do. Hey, who knows maybe you can hear me. If you can, just let me know you're ok, will you? I just need to know that wherever you are you're ok, at peace I guess. And I need to say thank you, for El Salvador,for everything you ever did for me. I couldn't have asked for a better friend. Oh man, this is hard." he said as he felt the tears that had been threatening for months run down his face. "I wish I knew how to thank you properly, but I can't, so er, I'll just say goodbye. Rest easy man"

"Doug?" came the small voice from behind him.

He turned around to see Judy stood looking back at him.

"What are you doing?" she continued

"I came to say goodbye."

"You ready to do that?"

"I should be." he shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his pockets, clearly feeling uncomfortable. "I guess I just need to see it to make it real, you know", he said gesturing towards the headstone.

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

"So how you doing?" Doug said, genuine concern evident in his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Jude", he said with the trace of a faint smile,"I saw the way you were holding on to him that morning." She looked back at him trying to make her face as blank and innocent as possible, and as she realised she was failing miserably she gave it up.

"Mostly I just miss him. I miss both of them so much. You know sometimes at work when I look round and they're not there, It's so easy to pretend that they're off somewhere on a case together or something."

"Judy?" he said, looking down at his shoes, trying to avoid her gaze. He had no idea whether telling this would help her or make her feel worse, but he felt she had a right to know.

"Yeah."

"He cared alot about you too you know."

"I know."

"No, I mean _really_ cared alot about you." She looked back at him with a mixture of confusion and astonishment and he couldn't help laughing. "Oh come on Jude. You know he always told me everything. We compared notes."

"He told you about that?" she said tears forming in her eyes despite the laughter in her voice remembering how Tom had jokingly told her he would tell Doug every single detail.

"Course he did. Considering I'd been telling him for ages now to get a move on instead moping around and whinging to me."

"How long?"

"I don't know exactly, a while. That's another thing we'll have to get by not knowing. Why do you think he was so hurt when he found out about you and Booker that time?"

"I thought he was just angry cos he saw it as siding with the enemy. What about Jackie?"

"That was barely even a relationship Jude. Three guesses as to why?"

"Why didn't he ever say anything?"

"Scared of complicating things. He said your friendship was too important to him to screw it up, you were in his life and that was enough." He looked hard at her and continued. "You remember after what happened at that med school you were both working?"

"Yes" she said stiffly.

"At the bar afterwards, you danced together remember."

"I remember" she said softly.

"Think about the last time Tom ever danced with anyone. Why do you think he did that? And why do think he spent all that night on the bonnet of his car watching your place. Scratching the painwork on the Mustang I might add" he said trying his best to raise a smile from his remaining partner. "In his own way he was showing you how he felt." Moments of silence followed as Doug drew something out of his pocket and held it in his hands staring at it. "If you don't believe me, belive Tom." he said handing it to her.

"What's this?"

"I found it while he was sleeping. Did a lousy job of hiding it. I figured he must have wanted you to read it or I'd never have gotten my hands on it."

Judy took the paper from Doug, opened it and looked at the familiar handwriting. It was shaky and nowhere near as neat as she had seen it a thousand times, but unmistakable. As she looked at it her legs gave way and she sat down hard on the grass.

"Where did he get this?"

"No idea" he smiled. She took a deep breath and began to read.

_Judy_

_I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to give this to you but I'm stuck here listening to Doug snoring and I've done nothing but think about what you said. You're right. Life is too short to leave things unsaid and I don't know how much time I've got. I know that you're all being positive and telling each other everthings going to be ok, but I'm the only one who knows how bad it hurts when the painkillers stop, I'm tired. Thing is Jude, I've never been much good with words, but you know that, so I'm writing what I know I'll never have the guts to say. What do you know, not much better with the writing either._

_I should have told you a long time ago how much you mean to me. Getting to know you over these past few years has given me more happiness than I could ever have dreamed of, more than I ever deserved. I've been so lucky to have had had you in my life, eventhough I was too much of a coward to make you part of it. God, I'm still not coming out and saying it am I? I love you. That wasn't so hard. I guess I always did in my own way. These things have a habit of sneaking up on you don't they. If you don't feel the same that's ok, just tell Doug he owes me $50. Although I think maybe you do. Talk about wasted time, hey detective. I'm sorry I never told you. I supose I thought you deserved better than me._

_Well I can hear one of you babysitters coming down the hall so I'd better make this quick, before I go back to playing sleeping beauty. If the worst does happen take care of Doug for me, he needs someone to keep him out of trouble and Clavo's not big enough yet, and tell Harry not to dwell too much on what's happened. He has a future to look forward to and he should go into it with a clean slate, not with all this baggage hanging over him. Most of all, take care of yourself. I know you'll be fine. Everything will be alright, I promise. New deal, remember, Judy._

_All my love_

_Tom_

"Oh you idiot Hanson!" she said smiling through her tears. She felt a sudden warmth knowing that her feelings had been returned in some way. It was like she had been given permission to grieve and noone would be able to take that fact away from her.

"I didn't know whether I should tell you or not. I just thought you deserved to know."

"Thank you, Doug."

"Did I do the right thing giving it to you?"

"I needed some kind of closure Doug. I'm glad you showed me."

"No what if's ok." he said kneeling down, wiping away her tears and putting comforting arms around her.

"They'll always be those." she said sadly. Her mind drifted back to the last time she had seen him after they had brought him back after the tests. As she had said goodbye he had held onto her arm, his eyes looking over her face as if he had been commiting every feature to memory. "It's like he knew what was coming Doug."

"Maybe, in someway, you always do. Don't think about it, just know that you had someone who loved you very much.I wish you could have seen how proud of you he was when you got your silver shield"

"I saw. I'm so scared I'm gonna forget him. I know we have pictures and everything but I won't be able to hear his voice, or see all the little quirks, like when he chewed his lip when he was nervous, god, even that look he got when you knew you'd annoyed him" she said laughing slightly.

"Oh you'll never froget that." Doug said smiling. Then becoming serious again took hold of both of Judy's hands and said "Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Just close your eyes. Now think about Tom and look really hard." he said gently. "Do you see him?"

"Yes."

"What's he doing?"

"Shouting at you cos you've messed up his paperwork."

"See. You're not forgetting a thing." he said smiling. "Look again. What's he doing now?"

"We're all sat at the conference table eating pizza. Harry's leaning on his arms listening to you tell one of your stories, your arms are waving around more and more as your story gets more far fetched. Tom's pretending to ignore you building a tower out of matchsticks, while whispering saracstic comments about your story in my ear."

"See, whenever you feel like you're forgetting him, close your eyes and he'll always be there.

"Thank you Doug" she said, a smile on her face and tears streming down her cheeks. "Well, it's me and you now Douglas!"

"There's worse to get stuck with I guess" he said as he pulled her to her feet.

She smiled at him before turning her gaze to the grave in front of them. "You know, wherever he is you don't have to worry. He's probably up there cringing at how sappy we're being! He was a good person. He'll be ok"

"You really belive that Jude?"

"Yeah, I do. He's at peace and nothing there can harm him anymore."

Doug smiled and gave her a quick fierce hug. "It's getting cold, you coming?"

"Go ahead, I'll follow in a little bit."

"Ok. Don't be on your own Doug." He smiled back at her and watched her walk towards the car before turning back.

"No one likes a show off Hanson!" he said lightly, a small smile on his face. "Using a lady to do your dirty work. I hear you man. Thank you." He bent down to straighten the flowers feeling strangely at peace. As he got to his feet he smiled brightly looking up to the sky. It was one of those fall days where you could feel winter around the corner cold and bright with not a cloud in sky, when everything feels crisp and clean. "Goodbye Tom" he said softly before slowly walking away.

As he made his way to the edge of the cemetery Jude was wating for him.

"So, you gonna give Garrett a chance? He's not a bad kid you know."

"Yeah, I know. Doesn't bowl does he?"

"I hear he's got a 190 average."

"Oh great. This'll never work".

Judy turned and grinned at him and they made their way arm in arm towards the car where Fuller was waiting, to face whatever the future would bring, together.

**Well there you go folks. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.**


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